I feel so incredibly dirty. Why couldn't a less traumatic experience have made me realize how vulnerable I am? How incredibly niave and stupid I am? I want to curl up in a ball and vomit my insides out. Not that I don't give my mother credit when credit is due, but I never thought that she would be right this time. I didn't even take the time to realize that it was horribly wrong. I had an inkling, but I never focused on the horrific, terryfing aspects that were staring me right in the face. This is too serious and I can't stand it. Why didn't I stop it? Why did I even answer? I'm far too young for this. Why can't I have a normal relationship? I'm so stupid. I've caused things that no one should have to feel. How would you feel if someone told you they wanted to run their car into a telephone pole? I might just have possibly ruined someone's life. I might have taken away everything they've worked for their entire life. I'm disgusting.
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