Mike Pinocchio was turned yet another backpack upside down and emptied the contents onto the forest floor. "Well, this is just freakin' wonderful." He turned a truly ferocious glare on Isaac, causing the most timid of the clones to cower behind Pooh_Bah. "Who the hell wasted space on a freakin' stuffed Winnie the Pooh?"
"I didn't pack that. I didn't pack anything." Isaac complained. "Don't blame me."
"You're an easy target." Fred, one of the clones encouraged Isaac to stand up to the original. "Glare back at him."
"He's just a bit cranky. The commandos who dragged us out didn't give him time to pack any underwear� and they laughed at his pajamas." Hunter offered up an explanation earning yet another scowl from her lover. "Okay." She raised her voice to address the surrounding crowd. "Weapons check! What's everybody got?" That command should effectively distract her scruffy mercenary.
All about the clearing most the crew went through their belongs to produce whatever hardware they happened to be carrying. There were however a few noticeable exceptions. Poor Hobbes was staring about the crowd with his mouth hanging opened as he realized that out of the fourteen men standing there ten of them were some variation on Mike Pinocchio.
amaresu took a few steps, frowned and reached across to snap the blond man's mouth closed. "Try to put up a semblance of intelligence, Tom. The others are never going to understand why I want to write you if you act this way."
"Might as well ask a fish to tap dance." One of the women laughed out the words, making her voice hard to recognize.
"Just sit quietly and pay attention, Tom." amaresu shifted to stand on the other side of the confused soldier. "You'll catch on eventually." Her arm wrapped around his waist. The action earned her a frown from her clone, Fred, but he didn't complain aloud. amaresu's tastes never made perfect sense to him at the best of times.
"Son of a�" The Pinocchio started to curse about something else only to have Pooh_Bah jump across the space that separated them and clamp a hand over his mouth.
"Cork it, Pinocchio. We're still G rated. I mean it's only the second episode." She informed him crossly. "Give it a couple of weeks."
"Forget it moi vazmee koshka." Alexei laughed. "Look around. Carla Jane's and Geppetto's costumes have already jumped us up to PG." He paused to help CJ extract yet another small knife from somewhere behind her back and dropped it on the huge pile of lethal toys in front of them. "Admit it, Baby." Alexei teased his author. "You painted those pants on this morning, didn't you."
"With a spray gun, Darling." Carla Jane's teeth bared in a smile then her attention wandered about the mounds of weapons. "FRED! A piercing gun? Oh please."
"A very special piercing gun." The clone in question scooped it up. "On its top setting I could drop your Russian bastard at thirty feet." He aimed as if willing to prove his point.
"BOSS!" A tall oriental woman came striding out of the underbrush, dragging a shorter, unfamiliar girl behind her. The leader released her companion without a second look at the edge of the gathering, then ran to plant herself in the path of Fred's deadly diamond stud. "I brought that stuff you needed." Li Ann Tsei heaved a massive pack down at Carla Jane's feet then turned around in a circle to look everyone over. "This isn't your usual gang, CJ." She observed.
"How the heck did they get in here?" Pooh_Bah complained in a loud voice. The teenager still hadn't gotten over getting shoved out of a moving car the last time she'd met Li Ann. "She wasn't in the video room." Pooh_Bah glanced over at the other newcomer. "That person wasn't in the first chapter."
"Oh, that's Jules. I found her hanging around the entrance with a hopeful look on her face." Li Ann explained. "I thought it'd be handy to have another expendable extra kicking around." Her attention turned back to Carla Jane and the people in that area. "We came in through a single shot, poetic license portal." Li Ann shrugged. "You really can't expect the boss to go an entire story with only one crossover character at her disposal. It would be cruel. So Lexi dear� introduce me around." Li Ann sidled up beside and caught hold of his left arm, pleased to feel flesh under her fingers. "Nice of the programmers to give you this back."
"Yeah well, I suppose I'm more versatile to play with this way." The Russian ran his gaze over the surrounding crowd and let out a put upon sigh. "Okay." He started to his right. "That's Mike Pinocchio and Hunter. I think Carla Jane's mentioned them a coupla times."
Li Ann nodded. "So did you a coupla times, lover. That Pinocchio guy was worth a few three am confessions last month, remember."
"Azar, Chance and Angelo." Alexei flicked a finger, indicating an imposing looking woman and her two not quite identical bookends. "Angelo's one of Mike's clones. Chance. Well, Chance is something altogether different." A leer crept onto his face.
Azar took up a slightly defensive posture in front of her longtime companion. The indicated clone's eyes dropped to the pile of weapons in front of her with a considering frown.
"The Inimitable Pooh_Bah and Isaac� " He stalled out. Alexei ran an appraising look up and down Pooh_Bah's demented clone, Tamales. "Well, aren't you the sweetest little surprise." The Russian walked over, using his extreme height advantage to look down the front of Tamales' rather impractical, low-cut, floral dress. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure� " He paused on purpose. "�of an introduction."
"Oh please." The Inimitable Pooh_Bah groaned out her disgust at the cheap move.
Isaac was bouncing in place, unsure if he should remain at the side of his goddess or move to protect Tamales. Of course, standing up to Alexei was beyond him at the best of times. "Carla Jane, do something!" Isaac decided to appeal to one of the few people present who could control the triple agent.
"Um?" Carla Jane acknowledged the plea absently without breaking off her own inspection of how nicely Hunter's t-shirt clung to the shorter woman's curves.
"LEXI!" Li Ann grabbed the back of her friend's belt and tugged. "Introductions." She prompted him.
"Da. Da." He turned reluctantly to the next cluster of people. "Megan and Michael." Alex waved absently at the next woman and her clone while his eyes continued to wander.
"Pay attention!" Li Ann reached out and caught Alexei's ear in a pinch. "Why do all the men look the same?" She questioned.
"Clones. One of big sister Olga's diversions."
"We don't all look the same." Anthony J spoke up. "You just haven't got far enough along in the introductions. "The Chaos Factor and I are our own men."
"So I see." Li Ann released Alexei, dismissing him as a lost cause, and crossed over. Her eyes flicked down and she nodded her approval of the weapons she saw piled there. "Who are you?"
"The infamous Anthony J." He drew himself up to his full height, no doubt pleased he had more than a couple of inches on the imposing oriental woman. "This is The Chaos Factor." Anthony indicated the younger man beside him. "And his clones Lance and Ianthe." Even as he was saying their names Anthony's handsome face began to show his confusion. "Hey Chaos. Where'd your two clones get to?"
"Oh no. Not again." The Chaos Factor let out a put upon sigh and turned to scan the surrounding forest. "They're likely off smooching again. Those two are practically joined at the lips."
"Damned fools. This is no time to wander off. We haven't secured the area. Let's find them." Anthony J suggested as he snatched up his weapons.
"I can help." The young woman who had come in with Li Ann offered. She withdrew a Glock from inside her jacket. "I'm Jules, by the way."
"Charmed." Anthony J's brows lifted in appreciation.
"Hormones." Li Ann grumbled. "God save me from men with overactive hormones." She picked up the pace to walk beside the Chaos factor in hopes that he had a better head on his shoulders. "So what do these Lance and Ianthe clones look like?" They ducked under some overhanging branches.
Before The Chaos Factor had a chance to respond Li Ann let out a yell and threw herself forward to tackle on of the Pinocchio clones.
"Pervert!" Li Ann shoved the man back hard enough to plant his butt in the dirt. "Leave the little girl alone or I'll break your prick off."
"Li Ann, no!" The Chaos Factor protested.
The warning was lost on Li Ann since she now had to worry about the small whirlwind that had launched at her back. Ianthe wasn't about to allow anyone to toss her boyfriend, Lance, around. The girl and the woman fell into a set of classic martial arts moves and countermoves, complete with Bruce Lee shouts.
"Nice form." Jules admired from her place at Anthony J's side.
"Ten bucks, two to one, on the older one." Anthony J offered.
"You're on." The pair of them shook on the deal and were both surprised to feel a little tingle of electricity spark between their palms.
Lance made the foolish mistake of attempting to step into the battle only to be thrown back by an unexpected jab. The Chaos Factor couldn't even tell which of the females had connected with his clone's diaphragm. Lance stumbled, tripped over an exposed root and fell sideways. His head hit a tree trunk with a rather sickening, cracking sound.
"Darling!" Ianthe broke off the battle in order to run to her beloved's side. She had time to grab at him before the clone's body rezzed out with a sparkle of light. Ianthe's voice raised into an ear-splitting, undulating, wail of grief that would do a banshee proud.
There was an unexpected crack of gunfire. Ianthe vanished in a burst of static and the four remaining people swung around, guns whipping out.
"You're making too much noise." Alexei explained in a flat, bland tone. "Come back to the clearing. Pinocchio has a map out and we've plans to make." With that the Russian turned and walked away.
The Chaos Factor's handgun was still pointing but Li Ann reached up to push the barrel toward the sky. "You can't shoot Lexi. He's a bastard but we need him."
"But those were my�" The Chaos Factor's voice was stunned. "My friends. My partners."
"I'm sorry, but shooting Lexi won't help." Li Ann persisted. "I'll be your partner while we're in here. I'll mind your back, okay?"
"You might as well trade up, Chaos." Anthony J advised. "You must have known those two weren't going to be much use on this mission." He offered his arm to Jules and the pair of them headed back to the others.
(LATER THAT EVENING)
(Hey, CJ's writing this one, you knew I'd have to do bedtime)
The perimeter had been secured, enough food had been produced to fill everyone's belly, a tentative plan had been laid out and the watch schedule had been decided on. At this moment Ladyhawke, Miguel, amaresu and Fred had each taken a direction to mind.
Minor bickering was now breaking out over whose blanket was going to be thrown down where.
Tamales was decorating her spot with some daises she had braided into a garland and making sure all the corner of her lace and ribbon encrusted blanket were at perfect right angles. The Inimitable Pooh_Bah had declared that she couldn't sleep anywhere near that kind of frou-frou fussiness and had ordered Isaac to prepare her spot on the opposite side of the camp. The poor clone was following orders but he couldn't stop himself from throwing longing glances over towards the bower that Tamales had prepared.
Li Ann and The Chaos Factor were talking quietly near the dwindling campfire. He seemed to be attempting to explain the relationships surrounding them. Li Ann, used to complex, intertwining couples since she was one of Carla Jane's characters, was grasping the framework quickly.
Anthony J and Jules had progressed beyond enthusiastically swapping spit. They had pulled their blankets over of them to gain a little privacy. Every now and then a rather intriguing bump would appear in the outline, then vanish. Much giggling emerged from the squirming mound.
Tom Hobbes was scribbling like a man possessed in a small notebook. Occasionally his head would raise and he'd look around with a martyred expression but as soon as his eyes landed on a Pinocchio clone his mouth would tighten into a grim line and he would commence writing once more.
"Sophie, my dearest, darlingest, angel-lips�" Megan whispered quietly from where she was stretched out. "Hell has broken through to the surface. Armageddon is upon us." She guessed at Hobbes' thoughts. "Only the virtuous will survive. We had stew for dinner. It gave me gas. Hopefully the cook will be the next to die. I miss you like salt, my own sweet snicker doodle. Kiss our widdle, honeykins baby cakes on her cutesy wootsy nose for me."
Michael, straddling Megan's back and massaging her tight shoulders, chuckled at her overdone monologue. "Your mind is my favorite playground, darling."
"Com'on, Florence." Mayhem's coaxing cut across the camp. "You can trust me." He held up the hands that the healer had just finished binding together. His expression was a fair facsimile of innocence. "Let me loose. I'll behave."
Florence shook her head once and climbed off his legs. Geppetto had finished tying them together so it was safe to let up the pressure. There was no way either of the women were going to get any sleep if this particular Pinocchio clone wasn't restrained for the night. Both of them had spent enough time in his company to know that he needed constant supervision and correction.
Geppetto's other Pinocchio clone let out a sigh of relief. It was the best of a bad situation. Markus didn't even want to have Mayhem in their company but if they had left him back home alone Mayhem would likely have ended up in the basement building a nuclear device.
"Bondage." Carla Jane mused aloud as she observed how they were treating one of her favorite clones. Perhaps she should liberate Mayhem from his keepers to play with since her plans for Anthony J had fallen through.
"Is that a request or a suggestion?" Hunter asked. She was lounging against the taller woman while Mike Pinocchio sat tight up against them, cleaning their guns.
"Knowing CJ it's only foreplay." Pinocchio rumbled.
Hunter laughed and reached out to thread her fingers into his short, tangled hair. "I love your curls." She drew back only to bat at the long, blackish braid that hung down by Carla Jane's ear. "This is kinda wicked too."
"Carla Jane Wicked. That's me." CJ snickered and turned her full attention to her companions. "I do dearly love watching you strip and clean a gun, Corporal."
Blue eyes lifted, a devilish sparkle in them. "Where's Krycek? I've an idea."
"I think he's bothering Chance. Lexi heard he was a slash virgin and can't stop scheming. Is your idea flexible?"
As if on cue Chance Harper's frustrated voice rang out. "Will you just get away from me!"
"I sent that uberChance over to you guys so you would leave mine alone." Azar complained. Her hand settled on the grip of her gun in warning.
"Yeah, yeah." Alexei acknowledged. "But uberChance is home with the rest of CJ's crew." He took a step closer to Chance Harper but his foot landed wrong and Alexei's balance shifted.
Michelangelo's permanent frown almost cracked into a smirk as the Russian tipped and fell onto a pile of gear. Angelo hadn't even moved to protect his friend, certain Chance's luck would take care of the pesky Alexei Romanov.
Alex hissed and let loose with a stream of curses that nearly turned the air blue. He knelt up to check out the fork that was now lodged into the flesh of his right butt-cheek.
Nearly everyone in the camp had turned to look their way, except for Anthony J and Jules of course. The Inimitable Pooh_Bah let out a very unladylike snort of amusement. The disturbing noise frightened her pet clone, Isaac, into backing up a step.
"I don't suppose you're going to offer to heal that for him?" Geppetto asked Florence.
The healer's nose wrinkled and she favored the other woman with a look most people would turn on a lunatic.
"Moi poor pet." Carla Jane cooed. "Leave Chance be and come over here, Lexi, before you really get hurt."
"SHOW'S OVER!" Pinocchio barked. "Everybody settle down and get some rest. You've each got to stand a turn at watch." He glared. "LISA!"
Pooh_Bah started nervously. "WHAT?"
"If I hear any strange noises over there I'm gonna carve that damned Isaac a new grin about three inches lower." He warned his daughter.
"Well you could always leave your harem and come over here to guard me." She snipped.
"I'll guard her for you, Krasivyj." Alexei offered, feeling much better as Carla Jane had removed the eating utensil and kiss his boo-boo better.
"Shut up, Krycek!" Pinocchio cuffed Alexei on the back of the head. The action earned a growl of pleasure from the Russian. The Inimitable Pooh_Bah gagged and hid under her blanket. Tom Hobbes made a small, squeakingly distressed noise and began to scribble faster.
