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Big, Hairy, and Scary... no, not Ohenry's Penis!
by Dick |
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Please take notice to the background I used for this page. It represents the large tree trunk kankles that Hagrid has in the 3rd movie where his pants are rolled up while standing in the lake. Sadly, I couldn't find a picture that showed off his sexy legs like they were displayed in the movie. Please remember to poop in the ocean. |
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Additional Pictures of Rubeus Hagridious |
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Hello Hagrid. It's nice to have the opertunity to be here with you today for this interview. I'm sorry I had to interupt you and Hermirone though. |
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Oh. No worries. We were... we were... we were just talkin' about her S.P.E.W. campainin' and all. No botherin' you done around here. Nope, no trouble at all.*(Nervous chuckle while rubbing beard with fingers.)* |
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Right... glad to hear it Rubeus. Now lets get down to buisness. Shall we? I know that you experienced some new things in the last movie (Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban). I also understand that you were forced to expose yourself in the movie as well. Please Hagrid, tell me your thoughts on this. |
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Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! I'm sorry... ahhhhhhhh!!! No wait... ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! How unprofessional of me. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! |
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Well Dick, yur sure right bout that. I'll tell ya. That there director made me do some pritty odd things I must say. I aint to fond of talkin' bout it now that you mention it. *(A tear starts to trickle down his check.)* |
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Ohenry, this picture is for you. I know how much you love guys who tweeze their brows... so this is dedicated to you. |
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I'm so sorry to make you upset Hagrid. We can stop if you like? |
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No. It's best that you hear from me now. I need to get it all out in the open ya see. *(He takes a minute to recollect himself and wipe the tears from his eyes.)* When you talk about the revealin' parts in that there movie... you must be referin' to the part when I'm at the lake with me pants rolled up and me legs... me legs...*(Small sombers.)* me legs bein' all exposed and such!!! I told him it was risky and that it made me uncomfortable, but no!!! NO! He made me do it anyways. I don't think I'll ever be able to live that there one down. The shame in it all. he made me look like a cheap whore with me legs all showin' all over the place! I'm not no whore. I'm a games keeper! I'm a decent man/beast! |
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WANTED
This man is wanted in 24 states and 8 other countries. Please notify authorities if you have any information leading to this man's arrest! He has a long brown beard, poofy brown frizzy hair, and is approximately 4'1. Please do not attempt to take him down yourself. Notify the police immediately. he is very dangerous. Do not let his charming personality fool you. He is an escaped convict from the National Midget and Dwarf Maximum Security Prison located in Southern Kentucky! He has been convicted of numerous accounts of man slaughter and impersonating a Harry Potter character. Please call this number if you have any information on his where abouts: 666-getem. |
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Of course you are Hagrid. Of course you are.*(Dick tries to comfort Hagrid by rubbing his feet.)* There you go. Now doesn't that feel better. Holly shit!! I mean... you like that? *(Dick stares at his feet in awww... she may pass out any second. 5...4...3...2...1...shrrrt....Bam!!!!!!!!!!)* |
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The Inside Scoop: Dick has just passed out and has sliced her forhead open on one of Hagrid's jagged toenails. After recieving the abrassion over her right eye, her whole body flew to the floor and her head hit the ground with a large thump. Hagrid immediately went into shock. He ran out of his house and ran as quick as possible to Professor Dumbledore's office to fetch help. This took 3 hours and 15 minutes for him to reach the office due to his 3 breaks along the way to catch his breath. Later Dick was properly bandaged up and recieved an award honored for having to touch and look at Hagrid's feet. This was awarded to her by Dumbledore himself with great honor. |
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