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My Interview with Neville Longbottom by Willy |
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Neville is a stupid, bumbling idiot but we love him, well tolerate him, anyway because he helped win the house cup for Gryffindor in year one by being retarded and trying to help Voldemort, despite the fact he didn't know he was actually helping, he still helped, by stopping Ron, Harry, and Hermione from getting the sorceror's stone. Thank you and please poop in the ocean.
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Pictures of Neville Longbottom |
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Good afternoon Neville. Sorry to interrupt you and Ginny while you're playing doctor but I need to ask you a few questions. |
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Well, I guess I can stop for a little. *Watches Ginny run off with lust in his eyes* Bye Ginny! I'll see you later! |
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WOW THANK YOU SO MUCH! *This is said very sarcastically* OK, well I noticed that you lost a lot of weight since your second year. In fact, in your third year you were so skinny your teeth stuck out even more. Why did you decide to do that? |
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Here is Neville in his little pajamas. I believe this is when I got my first indication that he was a Death Eater. hahahahahahaha I don't think I should've killed him, just made him crazy so he could join his mum in St. Mungos. |
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I was sick of being fat. I hated looking at myself naked and not being able to look down and see little Neville Jr. It sickened me. |
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*Mumbling under breath "I don't see how you could look down and see anything past those ginormous teeth of yours but whatever"* AHEM, so well congratulations on your weight loss. Anyways, how are things with Ginny? |
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Whatta dork! Like he could fight three people with friggin' wands. |
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Bloody fantastic actually! I mean Ron keeps sending me notes that he's going to AVADA KEDAVRA me but I love Ginny. We are actually thinking of having kids. |
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KIDS?!?! Your like 14 and she's 13, that's a little sick but whatever. How do you feel knowing that when you tried to stop Ron, Harry, and Hermione from getting the sorceror's stone that you were, no matter how inadvertantly, helping Voldemort out? |
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Getting beat up by Cornish Blue Pixies, I think that's what they are called, if not, then that sucks. OK, I saved the best picture for last. |
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*Nervously licks lips and starts tugging on sweater sleeve* Umm, well, I didn't actually know. . . well. . . .er. . . . hmm, WANNAHAVESEXWITHME? |
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WHAT?!?! NO I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU! I don't even want to know how small Neville Jr. is, so just keep him in your pants. You just want to evade that question, don't you? You're in the league with Voldemort aren't you? |
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*Eyes dart back and forth and he starts sweating, soon his sweater is filled with sweat* Me? With Voldemort? Er, no, how did you get that idea? Hmm, well. . . of course. . . jeez, it's hot in here isn't it? |
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No it's not hot in here, unless you mean me of course. But that's besides the point. NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM YOU ARE A DEATH EATER! AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Someone actually wanted Neville's autograph??? WHAT HIS NAME IS MATTHEW LEWIS!! NO IT'S NOT IT'S NEVILLE. AHHH MATTHEW LEWIS IS HIS DEATH EATER NAME! |
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Unfortunately Neville died. We have no evidence that Willy actually killed him with the curse because there were no cameras in the room at the time. Neville was found to have the Death Eater tattoo on his arm so he should've died anyways. Willy will the get "Best Journalist in the World" award for her wonderful, entertaining, and truthful interviews. |
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