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THE FIRE CROTCHES MOMMY AND DADDY |
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Mr. and Mrs. Weasley
By O'Henry |
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O'Henry's Notes: OHHH MYYYYY GOSHHHHHHHH.Im so freakin excited to do an interview again! OMG OMG OMG RUB MY NIPPLES WITH ICE CUBES. Sorry but anyway I got so excited that the groundhog saw his shadow in my pants. ANYWAYS, Mr and Mrs Weasley are the epitome of freakin awesome parents. I think that they are such great people and will definitely see something good happen for them lata. THANK YOU AND PLEASE POOP IN THE OCEAN.( i havent said that in soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long!) |
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*hyperventilates as Mr and Mrs Weasley walk into darkened office* OMG IM SO EXCITED TO MEET YOU. I HAVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 17 DAYS. CAN I PLEASE LICK YOUR HANDS. |
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Um, well hello there O'Henry. We are definitely excited that you are interviewing us. It has been a rough few books. Here (they all shake hands) You can call us Arthur and Molly, only because you are clam. |
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*puts shirt back down* yessssssssssssssssssssssssss. Ok, lets get started with this clam interview by starting off by asking about the family. How about Ron first? You know like anything LOVEly goin on with him? (coughs and it sounds like "hermione and ron boofin") |
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Actually we aren't supposed to say much, but let me just say that I have been following all of your interviews and YOU ARE SO RIGHT. RON AND HERMIONE ARE IN LOVE. LOVE LOVE LOVE. |
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O'Henry's Notes: SUDDENLY the door BURST open and a frantically shaking and sputtering Ron ran in the room. Apparantley her overheard Hermione's name being called from 234567 miles away. It was rather scary what happened next. It was like he was possessed but not becaues he LURVES HERMIONE. Anyways, he started crawling on the floor and then got on a ll fours like a dog and started galloping around the room. Ron then started scratching the floor like a rabid monkey and ripped off his shirt. Then he pulled off his pants. This may have been clam on any other day but his butt was facing me and it EXPLODED CRAP ALL OVER MY FACE. Then the crapface (him not me) started to tear and eat the walls like they were Hermiones clothes. He had drool all over his face and it looked like he had grown a humongous tumor between his legs from all the excitement as it began to poke him in the eye. THEN BAM, he got on all fours again and ran out the room LIKE A GORILLA! |
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*wipes some feces out of nostril* GOSH DAMN I LOVE THAT KID. So its obvious that I AM RIGHT and he loves Hermione A LOT LOT. (willy you SO OWE ME MOOLA) So lets move on to....Crapfa- I mean Percy (see Percy interview to understand this joke) |
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OH GEEZ. We really were so happy to hear the news that he was really a Death Eater and Willy AVADA KEDAVRAed him. We were so happy that we let Ron and Hermione boof in our bed and we watched and pet chinchillas and ate CHEESE FRIES. He was such a pain. |
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WHOA. That's really clam *forgets how this interview was supposed to go* Yeah so i heard a really cool i mean clam rumor that you are going to adpot Harry Potter kinda sorta. He is already part of the family though. |
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OHHHHH yes, he is definitely a fire crotch. It was rather difficult to dye his pubies. They were so short but then again there was this really long one protruding from his butt hole. Ha, it was so funny. We tried to pull it out, but Harry started to tear up. We thought we would leave him with some dignity. |
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Ahh, the infamous Harry Potter butt pube. How great, so now it is red eh? Now im gonna have to update my clam HP pubie website. By the way, can i get a picture....for the site i mean? |
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OK! (both pull down pants) |
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O'Henry's Notes: NEVER IN MY LIFE DO I EVER EVER EVER EVER WANNA SEE THAT AGAIN. THAT IS THE FREAKIN BUSHIEST BUSHES THAT HAVE EVER CROSSED MY EYE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. So anyways, I had to poke my eyes out with scissors....or not. I just had intense 23 hour day therapy sessions. When someone mentions the word "Pubes" and/or "Mr and Mrs Weasley" I think of the movie May because that is SO NOT DISTURBING TO WHAT I HAVE SEEN. Thank you and please poop in the ocean. |
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