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the father and Death Eater by Dick |
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Because Lucius Malfoy was recently repremanded for being convicted of an active Death Eater, I had to visit him down at Azkaban Prison for the interview. When I entered security check they stripped me of my shoe laces, wand, and pen, insuring that it was for my own safety. They also included that Mr. Malfoy would be hangcuffed during the duration of the interwview for added safety purposes. Please enjoy and poop in the ocean. |
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Good afternoon Mr. Malfoy. I would like to begin by thanking you for letting me interview you today. It is a real pleasure to be interviewing such a notorious Death Eater and the father of that sexy son of yours Draco. Now Lucius, let's get down to it... how are you liking those cell bars that now confine you these days? Please... do tell, do they tickle your fancy? |
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Extra Pictures of the Almighty Lucius |
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Well well well. It's nice to see that a insignificant girl like you still has a since of humor in times like these. I hope you know that Azkaban won't hold me forever. I am an important man and people need me. Give it another week, I'll be out soon enough. And you might want to watch how you speak to me....... madam! |
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*God I'm BEAUTIFUL!* I hate this picture. He looks like a smugg a-hole, not that he isn't one anyway. |
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Right.... So how's that orange jumper they are making you wear? Is it tight around the sac? I can tell you right now it's not your color. More importantly... does it cause chaffing? |
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You are not a very bright girl. I have already told you once to watch your large mouth. If I were you I woulld start asking more relative questions, if I knew what was best for me. I'm only doing this interview because it means that I will be spending less time in my cell with my new friend Butch. He's a very ruff man and likes to cuddle. Very bad things happen when people aren't looking and even worse things happen when the lights go out at night. He calls me his Little Princess.*Malfoy closes his eyes for a second, trying to keep the tears in his eyes from cascading down his face.* |
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I'm glad... I mean sorry to hear that you have already become someones prison bitch so early on in your stay. Let's get back to buisness. Shall we? *Lucious quickly wipes his eyes to try to regain control of his emotions and nods his head.* Okay, now Lucius, this has been a fued since the very beginning, why do you hate Harry Potter so much? Is it because he totally schooled your master, He-who-must-not-be-named, or is it more than that? Are you jealous of his beautiful eyes or his talents? Or maybe just the fact that he is way more skilled than your own son, due to your enormous failures as a father? |
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Lucius and his Mistress... |
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Sadly, every time I see a picture of Lucius I am reminded of Legolas, the sexy elf from Lord of The Rings ( My husband). I absoultely hate this feeling. The only real thing that links the two is the sexy long blond hair, but please know this Legolas... Lucius is a cheap imitation of you and I apologize greatly for even thinking of him at the same time as you. |
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Now wait a second Dick... *She immediately zones out due to the horrifying aftermath of hearing Malfoy say her name. The mere sound of his voice spitting out those letters... D>I>C>K>...is paralyzing to the ears. He is in no way even close to worthy of speaking that name!* ...and another thing, I only beat him with his Nimbus2001 to show him good obideince and self reliance! I am a great father! Draco is only an incompetent halfwit because he chooses to be one! It's not my fault that Potter is better at everything! |
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Of course it's not your fault. It's all the little boys fault, it's not like he's only 15 or anything. I mean in no way could it be from the continuous broom beatings or pouring hot sluge on him from the kitchen cauldron ever once in a while! Because that would just be ridiculous Mr. Malfoy! Wouldn't it?! Wouldn't it?! *Dick begins to beat him uncontrolably with her chair, breaking his right arm and leaving hideous bruises on his face. After realizing the reality of what she has just done, she begins to regain control over herself. As she clears her throught and sits down, Lucius begins to cry again. She figures that it's best to leave things unsaid and walks out of the cell, leaving Azkaban behind and off to her cozy house in the woods where Legolas is eagerly waiting for her.* |
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Satan and his spawn. |
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