| My Interview with Fleur Delacour by Willy |
| She is quite possibly my least favorite character. I like Voldemort more than her. Yes he is evil but she is snobby and a huge jerk. But whatever. She didn't win. She is a loser. Thank you and please poop in the ocean. |
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| Hello Fleur. Sorry to interrupt you from being snobby but you must answer some questions because for some reason you are a main character during year 4. So just stop brushing your hair and sit down. *Cough-I HATE YOU-Cough* |
| Very vell, ze only reason I am taking ze time to listen to you and answer your questions is zo ze pooblic will understand me better. It is not all beauty, you zee, it is hard work! |
| Shut the Hades up, I didn't ask that. But while on the subject of being stuck up, how did it feel to lose? Especially when Harry saved your sister because you weren't good enough to. |
| Vell, I vanted to save 'er but you see vhat happened vas Ron tried to pull me down and vell he tried to kiss me. I zot her vas vith Hermione but he told me that it vas Harry. I should've known. But I vas good enough to save 'er. I VAS!!! |
| No you weren't. Your hair looks worse than my vagina OK. So brush it, or put it in dreads or something. Your hair does look like O'Henry's vagina though. So never mind, whatever. Ummm, so you know for sure that it's Harry and Hermione? |
| Willy's Notes: At this time my interview is interrupted when Fleur and I hear giggles and whispers in a near by closet. I end up telling Fleur that for her safety, I suggest she leaves. She does leave, after trying to kick me in the head with her thigh, but I block it with my MAD SKILLZ. Slowly I approach the closet. I stand in front holding my breath, not knowing what could be in that closet. I try to open the closet, but I can't. I see that there is a lock so using my SHERLOCK HOLMES MAD SKILLZ I pick up my wand and yell, "ALOHAMORA". The lock shoots of toward the center of the room as if drawn by some sort of small centripetal force. Inside this closet is a horror I hope never to encounter again. Inside I find Dobby, Winky, O'Henry, Snape, McGonagall, and Pansy naked and touching each other in their nether regions. The first thing I notice is how Dobby's head is bobbing back and forth, I didn't see why, while Snape and O'Henry are passionately making out. It takes this brigade of orgy mongers a few moments before they notice I am there. I don't say anything. They all leave, and only me and O'Henry are left in the room. O'Henry thigh masters me and whispers violently, spitting quite a bit, this, "TELL ANYONE AND I WILL KILL YOU. I WILL RIP OUT YOUR DREADS (they are not on my head) AND MAKE YOU EAT THEM." But, being the incredible journalist that I am, I report the truth. |
| Editor's Note: Willy was awarded the highest award she could get but it could still not erase the mental scarring she will have to live with for the rest of her life. Every prayer for her. We have not arrested and fired O'Henry for the simple fact that she has also done the dirty with Voldemort. |