Slytherin Pride
Draco Malfoy
By: O'Henry
O'Henry's Notes: In any story, there is the antagonist. And with us today is the antagonist of Harry Potter, Draco. There rivlary has continued for six years and may never end. Please don't pay any attention to him bashing Harry. Thank you and please poop in the ocean.
We are here right now with Draco Malfoy, a sixth year Slytherin at Hogwarts and a prefect. So, Draco, how do you feel towards Harry Potter?
O
Well let me just say this, once i get my hands on that filthy little(EDIT FOR CONTENT) he will wish his bloody parents never had him. But anyways, isn't this interview supposed to be about me? I know I may be evil, but aren't I good looking? It's like the attraction girls have to the bad boys, ya know? Like this one time I was cussing out Hermione and then it completely turned around and-(he talks for about another 45 minutes.. words are mumbled but a few came out like "oh I likieee" and "spank it! spank it!)...and I have never seen Ron so angry. It was so worth it.
D
This next question I am going to ask is essential, because I have an ongoing battle with Willy. What are your thoughts on Ron and Hermione? Or *laughs* Harry and Hermione.. *continues to laugh unitl a  great,big, yellow, not clam smelling puddle of urine is spotted lying on the floor*
O
(clears throat) Well, lets just say, if loser Harry and know-it-all Hermione want each other they have an odd way of showing it, which...isn't showing it. The number of times I have maliciously teased Hermione, I felt like Ron was always the one who defended her and vice versa. Sometimes when I am about to throw something, like a duct tape dildo at Hermione in class, I always catch her staring at Ron right before the gigantic penis collides with her ear. And there was this one time when I pushed Hermione, well cause she was in my way, and she fell down on Ron and she was like on top of him for a few seconds and then when Ron got up you could tell that he had one humongous bon- HEY! I thought this interview was about me! Enough of this bloody love talk! Ask me questions! ME! ME! ME!
D
Ok, sorry about that.*triumphantly thrusts fist into air*(Willy get over it, even Draco can see that RON AND HERMIONE ARE IN LOVE!) Next question...How did it feel, in your fifth year, when you got beat up by Harry and his friends. I heard Harry punched you in the balls before he hexed you. How is your nut sac?
O
(Gets really angry) This interview shows nothing of the great Slytherin I am! Great! Now I have to find something to do to make this all worth it! Ok, I demand you to take off all of your clothes or I will kill you! (pulls out wand and points it at O'Henry)
D
O Draco! I would never stoop that low!(just as this is said, soft, sexy music is playing and Draco starts to look really hot, he has his angry "Filthy little mud-blood" face on, and the way he is holding his wand is rather sexy) I-I can't (Having difficulty breathing, Draco scoots closer and starts to grin) No! Must..... not..... be..... like..... Willy....and.....have.....every interview.......based on...... sex..... with....... Harry.... Potter......characters......OH WHAT THE HELL!
O'Henry's Notes: This interview was cut short only because Draco performed the Cruciatus Curse on O'Henry. And no, she would never do anything unprofessional with any of her subjects, because she is a respectable, dignified journalist. The shame never did wear off at work the next day though, when Willy, Dick, and Rod kept replaying the end of the tape, which on it had the particularly similar sound of smacking and a male voice saying..."I Likieee!" Thank you and please poop in the ocean.
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1