The Raven Chick Seeker
Cho Chang
By: O'Henry
O'Henry's Notes: At first, Cho seemed like a harmless little girl. Playing quidditch and smiling at Harry, until she turned into a freakin crying pansy girl. Geez, I wanted to kick her so bad in the 5th book. Well whatever, I just need to know a few things, and this is what the interviews are for. Thank you and please poop in the ocean.
O
(Cho enters the room, wearing an extremely revealing shirt and walks like she has a stick up her butt) Hi, Cho, how are you doing?(O'Henry reaches out hand and yet again is turned down as Cho brings out her nail file)
C
I'm doing fine.(does not look at O'Henry)
Oh, well thats always nice to hear!(laughs, then clears throat awkwardly) So are you having fun here at Hogwarts? Enjoying the scenery, the classes, the boys?
O
C
(continues to file nails) Hmm. Sure. I do get along mighty fine with the boys.(chuckles to herself, O'Henry slightly growls) Hmm?
O
Oh, nothing! Ha, just had a little hair, you know, in my throat.(Cho scoffs and O'Henry changes tone of voice) You know, I didn't want to do this interview either, but you could atleast have some respect towards me! It's not my fault no one wanted you! I just needed to ask a few simple questions, if you would please cooperate with me!
C
(still files nails, yawns) Ok, then ask me your 'important' questions, just don't ask me too much about guys, *chuckles* I could talk about them for hours. So go on, ask me.
O (looks as if O'Henry has reached her breaking point, nostrils flared(ooh ryan) and teeth grinding she jumps on Cho) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST FORGIVE HARRY?AHHH!(continues to strangle her, they fall to the floor) ITS NOT THAT HARD! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!! AHHH! I HATE YOU!!!!!
C
(choking on words) I- don't- know-what-youre- talking-about!
(O'Henry continues to strangle her)YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! EITHER YOU FORGIVE HARRY AND APOLOGIZE, OR DOBBY IS GONNA BE THE ONLY GUY YOU CAN GET A DATE WITH AFTER IM DONE WITH YOU! AND DOBBY'S NOT EVEN A GUY!
O
O'Henry's Notes: Either she was gonna apologize to Harry or I was keeping my death grip. I thought I almost had her until....she pulled out her wand...
C
EXPELLIARMUS!!
O'Henry's Notes: The force of the spell was incredible. I flew back and hit the nearby wall.
O
YOU STUPID LITTLE WITCH! WELL...NEVERMIND! (sees wand on table, grabs it and points it at Cho) I only know one spell! Sorry! AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!
C
OOH!(Cho gets hit with the spell and falls to the ground. Footsteps are heard and voices yelling)
Oh shit!(tries to hide behind desk, but the door slams open and in rushes Mcgonagall who is tying up her bathrobe. Behind her follows Willy and Rod, who both appear to have messy hair and have their cloaks closed all the way up....i wonder whats under there...or whats not....) what the?
O
O'Henry's Notes: I thought I was gonna die. Mcgonagall, dead girl, Mcgonagall, killed someone, Mcgonagall, Dumbledore finding out, Mcgonagall. She was gonna kill me.
O
Look, its not what it looks like, Professor, she attacked me and I don't like her, so I didn't know what to do-(Mcgonagall interrupts, walks towards Cho, Willy and Rod follow, like little baby ducks following their mother)
Hey, chill out, O'Henry, don't have a hemroid! (as this is said, Willy and Rod chuckle and words are mumbled like "shes the one to talk") O'Henry, (walks over to Cho's lifeless body) the death of this man is not your fault.
M
O
Man?! Holy crap, Cho is a dude?!
No, you retard.(points wand at Cho) REVIELIEPOOTA! (immediatley as the spell hit Cho, she transformed...into a man!) This is an unknown Death Eater, who took over Cho's body for over a year now. We have been searching for Cho and was unaware she/he was coming to your interview. For killing this Shim, I give you fifty house points!
M
Oh my gosh! And if my calcualtions are right...Gryffindor wins the house cup!!!!WOOO HOOO!!!! (Willy and Rod jump up and down until Mcgonagall walks out the room and motions them to follow, they sigh and leave) Have fun!
O
O'Henry's Notes: After this interview I felt so happy and connected to the Hogwarts life. Even though I killed a man (he was just a Death Eater! I could have saved the world!) it was the happiest day of my week. Sorry for the unprofessional attack on the 'Cho,' but it was necessary. Thank you and please poop in the ocean.
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