82349802348909083248902348903429084329803240
98432890 due to those Weasley twins now having their own joke shop. I hate them. Although last night I had a really erotic dream involving them, some catnip, and of course Mrs. Norris. . . .
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| My Interview with Argus Filch by Willy | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I always hated Filch the most. Yes, Snape is meaner, but he was so cool and mean. Then there was Professor Umbridge and now I don't hate Filch so much. GOOD FOR MR. FILCHY CAT MAN! Ok. Thank you and please poop in the ocean. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Pictures of Argus Filch | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| *Walks into room and is startled by the most disgusting, psychologically damaging act she has ever seen* OH MY GOSH! I AM SOOOOO SORRY DICK! I DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOU AND MRS. NORRIS LIKE THAT! OH, AND MR. FILCH I'M SORRY, YOU WERE WATCHING AND TOUCHING YOURSELF LIKE THAT! I AM SOOO SORRY! Maybe I should come back another time. . . . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| *Doesn't look the least bit embarrassed, just stuffs his mini Mr. Filch back in his panties and looks up* Ahhh, Willy, you're here. *Smiles and Willy shudders. Then he looks at Dick* Dick, you can put Mrs. Norris down and leave. But do come back tomorrow at our scheduled time. Thank you so much Dick. Did I make you uncomfortable? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SOO FRIGGIN FUNNY! I GOOGLED FOR FILCH AND THIS CAME UP! I THINK IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE FILCH! IT LOOKS LIKE PARROT!!! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| *Waves goodbye awkwardly to Dick as Dick puts most of her clothes back on* No, I was just surprised. Before I found my husband Elijah Wood *Willy smiles heavenly at the thought*, I was drugged by Voldemort into a horrible, wretched relationship with Dobby *shudders violently and turns a pale ashy green color* and unfortunately Dick walked in on me when we were doing role playing and I was Legolas. But, are you sure we can do this interview now? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Yes crapface DO THE FRIGGIN INTERVIEW! Your as bad as those students who rub chocolate frogs into my underwear and make it look like skidmarks. I didn't leave those skidmarks! Mark my words! The only reason I'm doing this interview is to let people know what retards go to this school. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| *Looks at Filch's underwear and does see the little poopy stains he's talking about, but they look real to Willy. And Willy should know seeing as how Rod always has them and asks Willy if she knows what gets out crap stains* Umm, yes, for the first question. How many things are on that list of crap you don't let in the school? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Here is Filch with Mrs. Norris. The same Mrs. Norris Dick was umm, nevermind. I'll spare you. I'll just say Dick was petting Mrs. Norris. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 90342897324890324890823090832490889009432094 82349802348909083248902348903429084329803240 98432890 due to those Weasley twins now having their own joke shop. I hate them. Although last night I had a really erotic dream involving them, some catnip, and of course Mrs. Norris. . . . |
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| *Interrupts Filch quickly though that horrible image is now encrusted on Willy absolutely genius brain* OK NEXT QUESTION. . . Why do you really hate the students? I seem to notice a sort of sexual frustration with you. Could that be part of the cause? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Filch doesn't look so bad here. He's not so dirty. I think that's why Dick did what Filch asked. She likes dirty guys. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| *Tears start pouring out of his eyes, first filling his wrinkles like they are little ravines of truth* Ohh Yes! I want that someone special sooo bad. I need them. I have had my eye on someone for sooo long and then I thought I could get that person, but SHE came! NOO! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| She came? So this is a guy? Wow, didn't see that one coming, but is it Ron? Harry? Neville? Draco? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| *Cries even more disheartedly that Willy couldn't guess it* Noooo -sob sob sob- it's, it's, it's Hagrid! Ohhhh I want Hagrid soo much. I thought I would get him that one time I took Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Draco for detention with him. I was hoping that, that Hagrid would spend time with me and send them away! SOB SOB SOB | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I don't think this is from Harry Potter, but O'Henry would know since she's seen the movies a 3928989342 times. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| *Pats Filch oddly on the back, not sure if she should actually touch him seeing as how Dick could have left some "part" of her there* Ohh, I understand. So Madame Maxine ruined it for you? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| YES *Starts tearing off clothes and growling. He also turns green, he reminds Willy of the Hulk, only more wrinkly* I WILL GET THAT FRIGGIN HALF GIANT! BIG BONED MY ARSE! SHE IS SUCH A B**- *Willy doesn't allow him to finish seeing as how she hates that word, even if he's not calling her that. Plus Madame Maxine isn't even bad.* | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Umm, this is from Harry Potter. I think when he goes into the Great Hall or maybe when the door he enters to meet Dick. Who knows? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| *Gets uncomfortable* Well, thanks for allowing me to interview you Argus. But I must be off and change. . . my. . . er. . . . hmm. . . . cat litter. Ok bye! Good luck with those skidmarks! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Editor's Note: Not much to report here. Dick was reprimanded for being unprofessional. She should learn to cover her tracks like Willy does. That WONDERFUL WILLY! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||