Nobody is perfect. Each of us knows the spheres in which one feels inadequate and inferior. It may be how one looks, the amount of money one has, one's low level of understanding or intelligence, one's lack of fluidity in language, one's humble background, one's ignorance of social protocols, one's inner guilts, one's low image in others' eyes, and so on.
In our daily lives, we are constantly fed the idea of an ideal person. Knowing that one is nowhere close to that, and that one will never be like that, leads to feelings of inferiority. Others also are fed the same ideal, and so others' judgement of oneself tallies with one's own inferior idea of oneself.
Right from childhood, we form groups consisting of people who have a similiar idea of their own worth and quality. Class division sets in very early. The kinds of toys one has, the money one carries, the smartness of one's clothes, the home and possessions of one's parents, one's fearless attitude (born of prosperity), the colour of one's skin, the way one behaves and speaks, ...
Each of such classes looks up to the one it considers superior, and feels superior in condemning the ones below it. Invisible divisions and prejudices set in, nourished by parents, teachers and the society. Parents want their kids to not mingle with the inferior, and so each class learns to repel any entrant from the lower classes.
Children know from a very early age what kind of life they can expect. They know the unfairness of this unequal start, and deep anguish sets in towards their own existence and the ones responsible for it, their parents.
The ones who are among the top few, they are keen to protect their status, knowing that their status is all-important.
With the onset of puberty, sexual selection and pairing starts and here the competition is cruel and violent. Each person secretly wishes to pair with the best member of the opposite sex, and so a few persons become the centre of attention. These are the "alpha" ones. The "beta" ones try to emulate the "alpha" ones, but everybody knows that they are "beta" by the very fact of their attempts at becoming better. The "alpha" class is sure of its value, projects an aura of desirability while the "beta" ones are at pains to exhibit their worth.
The "alpha" have a strange sense of self-confidence.
Throughout the later life, the "alpha" ones are the objects of envy and secret hatred, and the "beta" ones are the objects of ridicule. Complexes set in and harden.
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It is extremely hard to rid oneself of the value which one has attached to oneself in childhood. One's own sense of worth is a very deep-rooted conditioning which only great love can uproot.
The ones who feel themselves to be superior have to sustain this feeling by constant effort and exhibition, while the inferior ones spend enormous efforts at becoming close to their ideal.
Class warfare is the essence of modern advertising. Cosmetics, automobiles, communication equipment, clothing, food, ...
Every being in this world suffers from a sense of inadequacy and inferiority. One finds out the sphere in which one is better than most, and this sphere is given great focus. This facet of one's personality is put on display and the other aspects hidden. This is the way one hides one's insecurity. The greater the pomp and show associated with a person, the greater is his inward sense of mediocrity and worthlessness.
If one finds that this effort at becoming or sustaining one's status is too much, one withdraws into a shell. As long as nobody sees me, or knows my true inadequate self, what cause do I have to worry about my image? In seclusion, I can invent my own grandiose image and revel in my self-projections. In my solitude and anonymity, I am the lord of the world, the centre around which everything rotates. This leads to what is known in psychology as a schizoid personality disorder.
I am afraid of letting my true self show, for I know it is inadequate. I invent selves according to the situation, always maintaining control over the judgement accorded to me, because I know that this judgement pertains only to my projection, not to my true self. My true self is thus immune to attack. Thus I harden myself against pain.
My whole life becomes a pose, an act, an exercise in deception.
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What would happen if my true self were to be revealed?
It could be an object of ridicule, or it could find love and a new sense of self-worth.
If I continue to hide my true self, I would be afraid of any intimate relationship, I would be afraid of surrendering and being vulnerable, for that would mean being open once again to the hurts which have tortured one's mind. Relationship is then an invitation to pain, for me. I want my true self to always have an exit in case it starts getting revealed. Then I run, throwing sand in the eyes of the beholder.
Only with great love, with great unconditional acceptance, with great compassion from a person who views one without prejudice, can this deep knot finally disappear. There must be no judgement of the other person, no labeling, no rejection of any aspect of oneself.
Love heals. All else, what pain and turmoil!