So many decisions to be made...
So many choices, as well...
"I know that something must be done to save the person I've become - that's why I had to run away."
Run away. It sounds so appealing. Leave humanity altogether. Leave it all behind. Eveything I could be as a human. As a person. An individual. And start life anew in the Amazon. Live with Gaea.
And why is that so difficult for everyone to imagine? It must be because they have no real sense of self. Of what it means to be a human. Humans are not something that should be respected as a dominant species on Gaea's realm. They are something that should serve Gaea.
I only wish to serve, and eventually become equal with, her. To share my life with her as something more than a lover and a companion. Something that no one, not even myself, can comprehend until one experiences it. I'm certain that no one has yet. I do not wish to be the first. Irrelevant. My passion for such a thing comes from love and adoration. Love. And adoration.
And one can't achieve such a thing until they come to the realization that Gaea is love and adoration and cherishment and compassion. All humans are fully obsessed with trying to figure out themselves and their place in the world. And they all come to the same conclusion, regardless of how much they ponder it: serve humanity. Such a thing is not love and adoration. It is abandonment of those cherished things. Hopeless.
I wish to serve Gaea.
