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| Life at work is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on top look down to see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys at the bottom look up to see nothing but assholes. |
| Cheeky Monkey |
| QUOTES OF THE DAY 1. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue. 2. Never argue with an idiot; he drags you down to his level and then beats you with experience. 3. You can go anywhere you want to as long as you look serious and carry a clipboard. |
| SOME MEDICAL DEFINITIONS:- Antibody: Against everyone. Artery: Study of fine paintings. Bacteria: Backdoor entrance to cafetaria. Bowel: Letter like a,e,i,o,u and sometimes y. Caesarian Section: District in Rome. Cardiology: Advanced study of poker playing. CAT scan: Search for lost kitty. Coma: Punctuation mark. Cortizone: Area around the local court house. Cyst: Little sister. Diagnosis: Person with slanted nose. Dilate: The dead British princess. Enema: Not a friend. False labour: Pretending to work. Genes: Blue denim. Hymen: Greeting to several males. Impotent: Distinguished, well-known. Labour pain: Hurt at work. Lactose: Person without digits on feet. Liposuction: French kiss. Lymph: Walk unsteadily. Microbes: Scandalously small dressing gowns. Obesity: Japanese city of Obe. Pus: Small cat. Red blood count: Dracula. Rupture: Ecstasy. Secretion: Hiding anything. Semen: Sailors. Serum: Sailors' drink. Tablet: Small bedside table. Ultrasound: Radical noise. |
| COMPUTER ACRONYMS DOS: Defunct Operating System IBM: I Blame Microsoft ISDN: It Still Does Nothing WWW: World Wide Wait MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed |