I classify myself as a gay male.  I keep track of gay news and the issues that are important to us as a community.  I take a strong sense of pride in my sexuality and am no longer ashamed of it.  I do not hold with the conservative values that state that some types of love are wrong or immoral.  I believe that we should be free to love what we will.

        The AIDS crisis is frightening to me.  I know several people who are HIV positive and it breaks my heart to know that their good health is a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode at any moment.  It scares me that such a terrible epidemic can be spread and effect an entire subculture.  It makes me angry that people who know they have the disease sleep with people without telling them.  They sleep with them unprotected, too.  To me, these people are no more than murderers, killing the best and brightest of our youth.  They are extinguishing stars, burning with the brilliance of youth and innocence.  It hurts to know that we are no better than that.

        I believe that the homosexual community should stick together, forming social groups and friends among one another.  This helps meld us into a political unit and gives us a support group for when we feel down.  Unfortunately, though, I seem to be unable to maintain gay friends.  We always seem to get in one another’s way.  I think some cultural conditioning keeps us locked in the same stereotypes and we end up destroying our own relationships because we cannot break out of the mold.

        I do not want the right to marry.  I feel no need to emulate straight couples in their practices and rituals.  I do think it only fair, though, that my partner share in benefits normally only given to married couples.  The government should not be in the business of telling you if your love is worthy of recognition or not.  That is a personal commitment.  It makes me angry that, were my boyfriend to have to go to the hospital, his family would get to see him but I would not.  I know I would rather have him by my side than anybody else.  It hurts me that his mother would be asked to make critical decisions, while the person who knows him best would be left out in the cold.  It makes me angry that I am not entitled to survivor benefits should he die unexpectedly. 

        I’m not sure where I stand on love.  The cynic in me rejects the idea that one person should be bound to another their entire life.  There are no soul mates; there is no love at first sight.  I believe our capacity to love is infinite, and that by loving one person does not diminish my ability to love another equally.  However, another part of me reverts to the desire for a family that is programmed into every child from the moment they are born.  I want the stability of a relationship with someone, but I also want the freedom to love others.  I want friends who are not uncomfortable with our expressing our love and affection in an erotic, comforting way.

        I want to experience new things.  I want to dance slowly in the rain.  I want to have a picnic in the woods where we may just decide to discard our clothing and swim in the nearby lake.  I want to feel the thrill of waking up with my lover still inside me, having spent the night in the most intimate position possible.  I want to love with a passion, and be passionately loved in return.

        I want to be accepted just as I am by my family and those around me.  I do not think my sexuality is open to public approval, but I hate having to live in fear of rejection should people know my true nature.  I want to be free to be exactly what I am, the freedom to be exactly who I am.  I do not want your labels, the only labels that are appropriate are those chosen by myself.  I want to be able to place myself in the open without fear of being beaten or killed over the reason of who I prefer to sleep with.

        I want to experience true romance.  I want to be swept off my feet.  I want the thrill that accompanies that first kiss.  I want to sit at work or at home, knowing somebody is thinking about me and anticipating the next time we can be together.  I want foreplay and the lovemaking that ensues.  I also want the option to simply cuddle, holding each other until we both drift off to sleep.  I want to feel like I am beautiful, because sometimes I think I’m not.

        I want to help other people whose lives have not been as good as mine.  I want to take the young gays, those who have been kicked out of home by their families, off the streets.  I want to give them a hot meal and a warm bed and wipe the tears from their eyes.  I don’t this world to be remembered as an unhappy place by anyone.  I want to make a difference.

        I want to be happy, and to know that nobody can take that happiness away.