Stolen from the lovely Miss Boostay:

Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teenager Is In Trouble

10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 a.m.
9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "KISS" makeup.
7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh."
6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."
4. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.
3. Uses slang expression, "Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening."
2. Was recently pulled over for driving under the influence of cottage cheese.
1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/18/2001 11:31:24 PM

Ladies, your personality is reflected in the size and shape of your breasts! As always, my favorite size is "real" and my favorite shape is "exposed".
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/18/2001 11:19:47 PM

If you don't have Quicktime, download it just so you can watch this AOL commercial. Did I mention that AOL banned me for life?
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/18/2001 11:05:22 PM

This one wasn't me either. I have witnesses that can account for my whereabouts all day today.
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/18/2001 10:54:34 PM

Say it fast 3 times......Humpy Bumper, Humpy Bumper, HUMPY BUMPER!!!!
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/18/2001 02:16:39 PM

Monkey Man update!
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/17/2001 08:04:11 AM

Damn Belinda, if you were gonna do this anyway, why didn't you do it in 1982?
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/17/2001 08:03:17 AM

Evhead (Blogger's one-man gang) posted this link showing how a woman changed over 20 years of drug and prostitution arrests via her mug shots. Kinda the antidote to Pretty Woman. I wonder if she knows Charlie Sheen? He was on Letterman the other night, he's either the coolest guy in the world or completely numb from his previous bad behavior, I'm not sure which. Did you know he has a daughter who's 17?

Speaking of Letterman and drugs, Miss Columbia is on tonight. I hope she whoops his ass.....back in the day Dave wouldn't have backed down the way he did on this one.
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/17/2001 08:02:22 AM

{Apu accent} Run for your lives! The Monkey Man is after us!!!!
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/17/2001 07:45:20 AM

OK, I finally finished my first Windows 2000 class, next one's not till June. Hopefully this means that I can update this thing more often (we'll see). Check back soon!
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/17/2001 07:43:38 AM

This shows the real power of weblogs, and how they can show you the world through someone else's eyes, and make you stop and think. *WARNING* You will cry, don't click if you don't want to. Don't say I didn't tell you first. Living Colours
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/16/2001 05:17:51 PM

Aimster must've heard me busting on the chick on their page a while back......she got a makeover. But you know what? She's still a hotornot reject.........I'll give her a 6, 7 tops.
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/15/2001 08:48:59 PM

I hate cats, always have. I'm not much of a dog person either. Heck, I guess I'm not really a people perso---dang, this is getting depressing. Speaking of depressing, my sister's cat, Chicken, passed away last weekend. He was kinda/sorta my first nephew.....we never got along, but I guess I'll miss him biting my feet when I go to see my sister from now on. Anyways, getting to the point, my sis wrote a poem about Chicken, and I've put it on here so that all you cat people can have a good cry. Maybe reading it will remind you all to go hug your cat/dog/iguana/sister/brother/mom/dad/hubby/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/roommate/bartender/chat buddy/etc. and tell them how much you love em - TODAY.
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/15/2001 07:05:24 PM

Well today has just been one of those days......1/2 the day was spent driving around doing bullshit, and the other 1/2 was spent fighting with Road Runner trying to get my connection at home fixed. Then I got stuck in traffic on the way to class, and found myself locked out when I got here......once I finally got in, I logged onto Yahoo only to get a nasty PM bitching me out for something I didn't do. It's one of those days where you just have to hunker down and ride it out. I could really use some cheerin up, so ladies, send those nekkid pics to [email protected]. Y'all are too kind.
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/15/2001 06:45:21 PM

REPOST I posted this a few days ago, but the driving skillz link was broken, so I'm repeating it:
Mookie posted this page about what God gave women to make up for their driving skillz. I'm not sure that the one-click activation of the Women's one is very accurate tho............shouldn't you have to romance the button for a while, then give it an hour or so of foreplay, and then click it just right for about 20 minutes??
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/14/2001 10:56:14 PM

This product has the potential to single-handedly reverse the current economic downturn. I've got my VISA out!
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/14/2001 07:31:05 PM

The Gold Club is in trouble. Although I have been to quite a few Atlanta strip bars, I never went there. Know why? It cost TEN BUCKS to park there! Hell, I've been to strip clubs where 10 bucks would get you membership, 3 beers, and money left over for tips.........and I know they were lots more fun than that place. The grungier and sleazier the place is, the better! My favorites are clubs that are near military bases. Just be careful not to get your ass whooped.
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/14/2001 07:27:19 PM

Damn........throwin water balloons is a felony!
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/14/2001 07:20:25 PM

Stats update:
Top search word used to find this page 32.02% typed "naked saleeby" what the hell??? Yesterday's top search string was "unfilled computer jobs"
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/14/2001 06:18:05 PM

I'm trying out beta 2 of Windows XP on my work computer, and I noticed my mp3's sound like crap on it. Now I know why - "Windows XP will degrade the quality of MP3 coding, which means that music recorded in that format won't sound so good. If you want high-quality sound, you'll have to use Media Player's proprietary coding, the WMA format, or another brand of MP3 player". What the hell are those dumbasses thinking? "Hey, let's force all the mp3 users/players to change to our proprietary format! There aren't quite enough reasons for people to switch to another OS! This will convince them!"
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/14/2001 10:53:12 AM

Dang....between Blogger, Geocities, and Road Runner, this page will never get updated. Hope you are all doing well!
another witty nugget from Hardskillz posted on 5/13/2001 04:46:57 PM

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