We stayed at Jason and DeAnna’s for a few days between communities and had a really nice, relaxing time.  DeAnna is this beautiful woman who runs marathons for fun, wants to do the Iron Man contest (for fun), and is a serious equestrian.  We met her horses and Josie had a great time trying to lead one of them around by his rope.  Jason is so laid back and easy going, but when it comes to go to the bar, he gets serious, seriously fun.  We all had a great time beating each other at darts and eating whatever concoction Jason came up with.  B and I spent several mornings relaxing, doing chores like laundry and watching movies.

Last Saturday we left for the Twin Oaks Community…and it was spectacular.  It’s not utopia, but it really comes close.  It was such a close-knit community and had such a great working structure that involved several businesses and domestic life.  The downfall: Josie could not go.  There is a waiting list where the number one person on it has been waiting for 10 years.  We were crushed.  We may still do their three week program next year, just to get a feel of it and maybe to see if we could squeak Josie by somehow.  Anyway, we will continue on our journey and hopefully discover through all of them what we truly want.

Saturday night we stayed at a “campsite,” it was an open plot of land with forest on two of the four sides and by the time we got set up it was dark.  I began cooking dinner on our camp stove amid the rustling of the leaves and making sure B was watching Josie.  All of a sudden I heard a very distinctive rustling in the brush about 20 feet away.  I looked up with my headlamp on my head and saw eye glare.  It was too low to the ground to be a bear and too high to be a raccoon.  I called B over and we tried yelling and making loud noise.  It didn’t budge.  I continued cooking and B put Jo in the car as I watched the eyes.  At about the time when I actually put the food in the boiling water and the smell wafted over to the eyes, he began to get really curious and he started to move in my direction.  I cried out to B and removed the pot, but then put it down and ran for the car with B.  Once we were in, it was obvious it was a coyote.  We honked the horn, put it in drive and pointed the car and its lights at him and he ran off in the opposite direction.  He must’ve been hungry, cause only a giant car deterred him.  After staying in the car for a rather long time, we pulled up next to the food and I continued cooking from right next to the car, door open for me.  We ate inside, let the smell die off then prepared to go to bed in the tent.  The stars were amazing.  We could see the Milky Way and we stood next to the car, our heads flung back staring.  B saw 2 shooting stars, but I have lousy looking down timing, so I missed them.  At about the time we became comfortable, there was a loud screeching and then a terrible crash not very far away.  My heart was banging in my chest, I thought it was a car that had gone off a high curb and crashed, but it turned out to be a falling tree.  Ever heard a tree fall?  It really does make a sound; it would even if no one were around to hear it, which is impossible because something is always around to hear the trees.  

B and I left the next morning and we were both in a state of frustration about many things.  And trying to ignore it led to stress and the stress led to an argument.  We sat in the 7-11 parking lot for several hours figuring it all out.  Which, in the end, feels so much better.  Because a lot of times, when we argue we come upon deeper issues that needed to be brought up and aired out and realized so we could work on them together.  Later that night as we ate at a rest stop picnic table, B helped me realize my life long dream of what I have always called “homeless mashed potatoes.”  Now this meal can consist of mashed potatoes, cottage cheese or anything mushy.  Now it just so happens that when I was younger whenever I was alone in the kitchen and eating any of the above foods, I would take a blanket drape it over my head and pretend to be homeless.  Well, now that we were homeless and eating a mushy tofu mixed meal, my fantasy could come true.  So, as we sat hunched over the meal, I realized from my posture and the meal in front of me that it could finally be!  So, B went and got a blanket from the car and we draped it over our heads and ate in homeless silence.  And although in my pretend time I was alone, B was always there in spirit and so he was then.  

Once we got to my Uncle Ralph’s, from whose kitchen table I now sit, we settled in and have been having the most wonderful dinner conversations along with the most scrumptious gourmet meals made by my uncle.  Having intellectuals for an aunt and uncle is a great treat and is so good for the brain.  Sometimes, Uncle Ralph’s’ scent reminds me of my grandpa (I hope that’s not offensive, cause it’s a good homey smell) and so, I found myself thinking of Grandpa Ernie, and missing him very much. He was the very first person, whom I was truly close to, to die.  And what I realized was that it wasn’t that he died, it was the months leading up to his death and that he died alone in the hospital at night.  That is what really hurts me, remembering him lying in the hospital, grasping my hand and not knowing who I really am, cleaning out grandma and grandpa’s house, the one I’d known all my life, for resale and receiving the call hundreds of miles away that he was gone.  Every time I return to those things, it really hurts me and I can’t help but cry.  So, I guess it comes down to wishing I could have done more to help and that I could have been there.

The week here at Uncle Ralph and Aunt Susan’s house has been really nice.  We are in Maryland and very close to downtown DC.  On Wednesday B and I took the metro into town and went to a couple museums.  We saw the Native American museum and the Holocaust Museum.  The Native American museum was, in all honesty, not that interesting.  I was very confused about the point it was trying to make, if making one at all.  It had many neat artifacts, but not many stories.  I envisioned something more like what I found at the Holocaust museum.  A direct point being made in a very emotional and very factual way.  The Holocaust museum really turns something inside a person and makes them SEE…I guess that would be my vision for a Native American museum, maybe that’s not their idea, I just didn’t know what their vision might be, it was so scattered and trying to take on so much.  It was probably very difficult to decide what to put in the Native museum and what vision to put out there from so many different tribes.  But, I would highly recommend the Holocaust museum, if you are ever in DC, just make sure you take a day for it and don’t do anything afterwards.  Because it really does not only bring up a lot of emotion, it brings up a lot of questions.  And not out of any disrespect, I wondered things like whose right and whose wrong, when some people displace another people, who displaced another people.  And I am not in any way justifying Nazis, it’s a general question inspired by them, not based on them.  Also, does the USA use any of the information gotten from the experiments on the Jews?  Is that wrong or would it be a waste not to?  And many more like those came up, each more daunting than the next.  I watched a movie when I was in high school about this teacher who did an experiment on his class based on what Hitler did and the experiment went too far.  It was based on the question, if you were in Germany at the time Nazi’s came about, would you do it, too?  If I come up with the name of the movie I’ll let you know.  I will leave you with that and hope I’ve sparked some thoughts.  



Good Night and Good Luck