Article 6578 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet:
Subject: [news.groups] Sneakernet and Esther's Pussy
Date: 7 Feb 1997 09:08:05 -0700

Subject: Re: Sneakernet and Esther's Pussy Was: ISPs with newsgroup 
 reliability? 
From: batman@mb5000.anes.upmc.edu (Bill E Madden Jr.)
Newsgroups: news.groups, pgh.opinion, alt.usenet.admin, alt.culture.usenet, 
 news.admin.policy

<Grubor groups snipped, think I got 'em all.>

: >SneakerNet, Esther... Sneakernet... the most reliable, if not the
: >fastest, networking protocol available... 

: 	What exactly is SneakerNet?

: 			Steve
: 			news.admin.censorship

SneakerNet is a revolutionary networking standard that's been around for
decades.  It's slow, but it's cheap and everyone has access to it.  There's 
no logins, but it's a most secure form of communication.  It
simplifies routing and eliminates the need for hubs, firewalls and repeaters.  
Of course, sometimes you need a car or a plane or <Shudder> the US
Postal Service to get your data to where you want it to go, but that's beside 
the point.

It was originally designed by BusterBrown as kedsNet in an attempt to 
standardize the whole "10BaseT, Thinnet, thicknet, ATM, FDDI, etc" crap.  
The idea was to provide a standard networking protocol that everyone could 
agree to, configure, maintain, and use, even idiots like you, assuming
they could tie their shoes.  They figured 
if they could get the two year olds and their parents to buy into it, 
they could corner the market and make millions.

Unfortunately, the free market being what it is, an immediate war for
the SneakerNet market ensued.  Nike siezed the concept and brought out 
AirJordanNet, which they claimed allowed you to soar through the air with 
your data, defying the concepts of not only data security but gravity as
well.  Lately, they've taken to using the Dallas Cowboys to market their
product and adopted the motto, "Just Browse it."

Not to be outdone, Rebok came out with THEIR version of Sneakernet, 
trying to tap into the whole network thing with their "Planet Reebok"
campaign.  Their goals are more insideous than Nike's - they don't just
want the SneakerNet market - they want to rule the entire networking
world, as evidenced by their renaming of the planet...  Maybe the
Usenet Freedom Council should look into this.

SneakerNet is a fundamentally simple concept: you put your data on disk
and you carry it to where it has to go using your SNEAKERS...  Admittedly 
it's not very fast,or half as sexy as a T1 connection,  but replacing your 
sneakers every year is a lot cheaper than re-wiring your enterprise for fiber 
even once...  In other words, you idiot, it was a joke.  And you missed it...

We now return you to your regularly scheduled drivel...