Article 7505 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet:
Subject: Re: Henry V 
From: "Gwen Lenker" <galenker@worldnet.att.net>
Newsgroups: alt.usage.english

Simon R. Hughes <shughes@sn*spam-blok*.no> wrote...
> On 28 Jun 1997 03:39:49 GMT, "Gwen Lenker" <galenker@worldnet.att.net>
> scribbled:
> >  
> >  William Shakespeare (or whoever was using his name) wrote  
> [...]
> 
> Gwen, I do hope you know the penalty for blasphemy!

*sigh*

I know, recite three soliloquies and two sonnets, then write on the
chalkboard, "I will not question our faith in the Bard," five hundred
times, after which I must hop on one foot completely around the perimeter
of the building, chanting
     Shakespeare, Shakespeare, he's our man.
     Sometimes rhyme and often scan.
     'F'e can't do it, neither can
      I.
and if you catch me trying to change feet I have to start over.  I know, I
know!

*grumble, grumble*

I was only hoping to prevent the "You may *think* Shakespeare wrote it,
but
there's plenty of evidence . . ." discussion from coming up again.

*mutter, mutter*

I'm *DOING* it, okay?