Article 2655 of rec.humor.funny: Date: Fri, 15 Oct 93 19:30:04 EDT From: miner@tc.pw.com (Stephen E. Miner) Subject: Computer Bowl question Relayed-From: ace@tidbits.com (Adam C. Engst) **The highlight** of the annual Computer Bowl occurred when Bill Gates, who was a judge, posed the following question to the contestants: "What contest, held via Usenet, is dedicated to examples of weird, obscure, bizarre, and really bad programming?" After a moment of silence, Jean-Louis Gassee (ex-honcho at Apple) hit his buzzer and answered "Windows." Mr. Bill's expression was, in the words of one who was there, "classic." {ed I was there and it was indeed a fine expression. Note however, that he does get the last laugh. The real contest is the Obfuscated C one. Other highlights included when Gates, as a panelist, was asked to name the three OSs first offered with the PC, and almost got one wrong. (He said MS-DOS instead of PC-DOS.)} ------ rec.humor.funny (moderated) #4994 Subject: That might be true... From: LFrench106@aol.com Date: Sat Jun 14 01:20:02 MDT 1997 Heard from a friend, upon hearing of a bug in Netscape that allows a website opperator to read the contents of a loged on users hard drive. "That's why I use Netscape: if this bug was on Microsoft, the bug would allow them to write to my drive as well." ------ Article 7510 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet: Subject: MicroSoft ad funny From: rreeves@boris.ucdavis.edu (Robert Reeves) Newsgroups: alt.tv.commercials I don't know how many of you got this via Don Crabb's newsletter for computer news+gossip, but thought it might be worth passing along here between psychic posts.... [quote] >WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO TODAY?< According to Gary Hawkey, the answer to the above question is simple, "Straight to hell, apparently." It seems that Mr. Hawkey was transfixed before his TV the other day, watching a scintillating Microsoft commercial. The commercial began with "sublime choral music drift[ing] through the background as the unseen [computer] user surfs through the Internet and various Microsoft content using Internet Explorer." Aaah, virtual bliss! Sounds tame and even cool, so far. But wait, as they say on TV, there's more!!! The commercial closes with the Microsoft slogan 'Where do you want to go today?' and a final, furious blast of music. It's a very cool effect. But if you dig a little deeper.... As it turns out, the background music is the 'Dies Irae' of Mozart's 'Requiem Mass.' And the words of the final blast of music which accompanies 'Where do you want to go today?' are actually 'confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus addictis...' For those of us not up on our Latin, or who can't find our Wheelock Latin dictionaries, Mr. Hawkey supplies the English translation: " 'When the damned are confounded, and consigned to sharp flames...';which describes exactly where I want to go today," he notes, treble clef firmly in cheek. Unfortunately, while [Internet] Explorer will take you to hell for free, the upgrade to purgatory is pretty steep."