Mary had a little lamb,
a little pork, a little ham.
When they passed the plate again
she had a little more.

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck,
She put them on the window ledge
To see if they would ... fall off.

Mary had a little lamb,
its fleece had gone all red,
she'd taken it down the garden path
and took a pick-axe to its head.

Mary had a little lamb,
she kept it in a closet.
Every time she took it out,
it left a little deposit.

Mary had a little lamb,
it had a touch of colic.
She gave it whiskey twice a day,
and now it's alcoholic.

Mary had a little lamb,
tired of being a follower
started a revolution
so mary did a swallow her

Mary had a little lamb
It gambolled round in hops
It frollicked in the road one day
And ended up as chops.

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
'Cause every time she took it out
Her brother used to...

Mary had a liitle lamb
She kept it in the yard
But every time she bent over
his wooly dick got hard

Mary had a little lamb,
The doctor was surprised.
But when old MacDonald had a farm
The doctor damn near died.

Mary had a little lamb
She tied him to a heater
And every time he turned around
He burned his little seater

Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it one day...
Now she likes to drink prune juice,
To pass the time away...
 
Mary had a little lamb,
Some carrots and some peas. 
She ate like a pig, 
And got really big,
And couldn't fit into her jeans.