Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: jring@transend.com.tw (John P. Ring)
Subject: Fox Paws (Faux Pas)
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 19:30:00 PDT


My coworkers and I collected the following at the Language Training and Testing
Center in Taipei, Taiwan.

_____________________________________

The following are actual sentences from compositions and tests.  They 
were written by students of English as a second language (ESL students) at 
a large language school in Taipei, Taiwan. The teachers at this school put
them up on a poster-sized piece of paper labeled "Fox Paws" (Faux pas).

1.  My major was pubic relations.
2.  My house is in hell, near the ocean. (on a hill...)
3.  When I was younger, I was an only child, so I would play with myself.
4.  During that time, many people suffered from being dead.
5.  What's your apartment like?  It's like a box.
6.  My friend had a car accident, he was in the garage for a week.
7.  At midnight, I and my cousin went out to fire crackers.
8.  My classmate didn't eat at that place because he is a vegetable. 
    (vegetarian)
9.  After that, I would travel around the world to develop my eyesight.
10. Penalties are not strict enough; therefore, large people don't abide 
    by traffic rules. (large people = adults)
11. Bees buzz, birds chirp, and humankind sins. (sings...)
12. In her spare time, she likes to look at navels. (read novels)
13. (from a high level class) She had gone to graduate school, but she dared 
    not to face her rival--a tall, beautiful, uneducated whore.
14. Holding a glass of wine, I stripped and poured the wine on a gentleman.
    (tripped)
15. (to a host) Thanks for your dinner. You must get in a lot of trouble.
    (You must have gone to a lot of trouble.)
16. He was late because he fell into the jam. (got caught in a traffic jam)
17. Q: When was the last time you received a present, and what was it?
      A1: I got to watch for my last birthday.
      A2: I saw the last president in 1992. He was dead.
18. I am a housewife with two sons, aged 9 and 67.
19. My name is Sharon. I am a house.
20. (re: going to a restaurant) I'm going to a restaurant. Do you want to 
    enjoy me? (join me)
21. Neither the blind nor the dogs would like being taken apart. (separated)
22. One night, I went to somnambulate at home...