WONDERFULL  WALLACE - 100% unofficial
People love Walace enough to visit her page.
Wallace recently went along to the auditions for the remake of 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory'. For some absurd and unknown reason those irrational FREAKS at 20th Century Fox didn't give her the part. They said it was probably best for "an 11 year old boy" to play the part of Charlie Bucket. Dissapionted, but never beaten, Wallace trundled along to the Oompa-Loompa castings in the next room, and guess what- SHE GOT IN.
(Place the cursor over Wallace's picture to see why)
Note:- Wallace does not look like an Oompa-Loompa, they are just very similar photos.
Wallace river. Wallace falls. State park, Washington.
Wallace was so beautiful that those lovely people at State Park, Washington decided to name a river after her. This makes Wallace the first ever model to have a town, a planet, a flavour of Jelly bean AND a river in her name.
(It's nearly as beautiful as her, isn't it)
Aah. Atlast, a familiar sight. Although we have all been swept away with 'Wallace mania' and covered our bedroom walls with this badge, (it can't just be me, can it?) I think that Wallace deserves to let us hear her serious political views-
So Wallace, why do you want to be president?
" I feel, although labour have manged to handle the majority of the country's economic difficulties, the issues surrounding the volatile ethnic situation need re-adresing. I want to lead you all into a Britain where there is no hatred, no racial prejudice, no poverty, for together, WE CAN BE STRONGER!"
Well, she's got my vote.
When she's taking a hard-earned break from campaigning, Wallace loves to know that her ovenly expertise it helping to solve the problems of Stove-hunters across the globe.
To say that her shop has revolutionised cooking is an understatement- without it, the whole lot of us would starve to death. Anyone for a pellet stove?
You all must know the feeling- you're stuck with some crazy idiot who has decided to fall and break their leg, and you are the only person about to help. Well, no longer need you walk away and buy a milky bar to eat away your guilt. No, for now there is a saviour, in the form of
'The Wallace guidebook for emergency care and survival - Your complete guide to emergency first aid'
So bandage up that leg and feel good about your helpful deed, before getting the irritating fart off to hospital and buying that milky bar you wanted.
Now, everyone, don't panic. This may not mean wallace has gone. It simply means that-
a) Somebody else called wallace is dead, in which case, our thoughts go to the family.
b) Wallace has faked her own death to claim insurance and buy a donkey
or
c) Wallace unfortunately and tragically passed away since you last saw her.
Let's hope it's b) for everyones sake. Hey Wal', can I have a ride on your Donkey?
Take me home
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