"I said no such thing! It was the rabbit! Bad rabbit! Bad Bun-Bun! Uh...did I say rabbit? I meant rabbi! Bad rabbi! Bad... Hello? Hello?"
~Torg

"I am sorry we cannot help you get home to your dimension. We have a pressing mission to deliver cough syrup to a dying planet."
~Girl on a ship

"Hydrochloric gear shift is downloading some type of chocolate doh-doh waves."
~Torg

"I am the handsome masculine lead! I have top billing! You guys are the ones who pitiful deaths set me on my path of vengeance."
~Captain of the ship

"Oh, yeah, the girl from the park! Didn't recognize you conscious, upright, and unmangled."
~Torg

"I can't go now...I don't have...my...shoes on."
~Zoe

"What I am thankful for is pure and unalienable. It is a right for which I have nothing but gratitude. The right to shoot all telemarketers on sight!"
~Bun-Bun

"You chewed apart an entire rifle?"
~Torg

"What? I'm the only malicious rabbit around? This is the woods, you know!"
~Bun-Bun

"'I don't know if it is such a good idea to let your ferret play with Bun-Bun, since he is in a really bad mood and cleaning his gun'... that's what I should have said!"
~Torg

"Put down the shotgun and have a hot toddy, dear."
~Mrs. Clause

"You parked on my foot!"
~A shopper

"Noooo, Sam! Don't plan Torg's death! Stay GOOD, Sam!"
~Kiki

"Hey, Zoe, I got a date too. Her name is 'A1 Steak Sauce!'"
~Bun-Bun

"For tonight's wine, may I suggest a bottle of whiskey and a small handgun?"
~A waiter

"Y'know, I never thought I would be so thrilled to be devoured by a hideous alien!"
~Torg

"Mom! I can't talk right now! ...No, Mom, I have not been corrupted by the 'big city!' ...No, Mom, I am not on drugs. All right, I'll tell you! I'm trapped in a room where an alien and a robot with high explosives are trying to kill each other! No rehab, Mom! I am NOT on drugs!"
~Zoe

"We have just received word that news is breaking on the set of Sluggy Freelance. We are not sure what the news is at this time, but we wanted to beat the other networks to it. I'm sure we will have more information ANY minute."
~Stone Johnson

"Thanks for participating in our poll. Do you think that Cinny-Bun is a loose cannon trying to ruin Bun-Bun for personal gain? OR do you think Cinny is larger in size than Godzilla?"
~Poller

"Remind me to thank Bun-Bun for locking me in the overhead compartment. I was ALMOST stuck on a flight to Seattle."
~Zoe

"Howdy, sir! I'll be shaking your hand ANY moment now. Any moment."
~Bun-Bun, in a Riff robot

"Oh! SLEEP! I keep forgetting you humans need SLEEP!"
~Aylee

"This is Agent Muldy. I want to put out an A.P.B. on a giant caterpillar with bat wings..."
~Agent Muldy

"Just don't cross that line I labeled 'Torg's Line of Death.'"
~Riff

"NO FAIR! I was distracted by random gunfire!"
~Torg

"I don't, but I care about him caring about me! I need attention from someone I don't care about to keep caring about those who don't care about me! Let me try to explain that better..."
~Zoe

"He's 'stopping' this way!"
~Torg

"She's killing the chocolate ice cream! I didn't even know you could kill chocolate ice cream!"
~Ice cream salesman

"Ooooh! Recap me! Recap me!"
~Kiki

"Not only am I being forced to marry a psycho-killer-robot, now I'm turning into a donkey. I'm going to need some help."
~Torg

"I think I just stuffed a calculator in my ear."
~Riff

"All these years! All those overnight marinades! All that oven sweat and onion tears! All those pans with caked on vamp grease?! For what? Because you pompous head chefs decided that a seven course vampire feast was needed when an appetizer-toothpick in the right place would do the trick! Well, take the signpost down, Biles, because my cooking classes are closed. Make way for Muffy the Girl Who Sticks Wooden Thingies Into Vampires!"
~Muffin

"I...I think you're very nice and boring, Zoe! I just said 'beautiful,' right? 'Nice and beautiful?'"
~Dex

"Oh, a flying ferret!"
~Dr. Schlock

"I had blueprints for a mind control device in my pocket and I just realized Bun-Bun took it. Is this as big a problem as I think it is?"
~Dr. Schlock

"I called to expose a conspiracy! You know of S.E.T.I., right? .... They are actually a front for an alien raec, known as the Golonpollops, who are planning an invasion! I'm amazed at the fact that nobody has noticed that if you move the letters around in the word 'SETI', you get the word 'INVASION'! That's using the Golonpollopian spelling of the word 'invasion', of course."
~Caller to the Ghost To Ghost Conspiracy Network

"Pheasant the Peasant?"
~Valerie from the past

"Why are the cute ones always insane?"
~Valerie from the past

"For MEDICIA! Um, yeah, I meant 'Mercia'...whoa, wrong way, horsy!"
~Torg

"This is the story called...um...The Fourth of July Slasher! One day, this scientist dude decided that cloning George Washington from his teeth would be a cool thing to do for the fourth of July! But he didn't know that George Washington's teeth were made of wood, so he accidentally created a WOODEN George Washington! Only THIS George Washington was EVIL! Like, as revenge for the cherry tree? He'd cut down people? And then, like, lie about it? And then he stole the land from the wooden Indians, man."
~Reggie

"Torg, he didn't land yet, he just said the word 'Splat.'"
~Zoe

"If I was a prophet I wouldn't waste time with vague symbolism! I'd have prophesied you the 'Bug Squisher!' Then you'd have known to wear big boots! That way you wouldn't have demon-guts between your toes right now!"
~Torg

"Where's the big bug? I'm up for another game of five-card draw."
~Riff

"Bun-Bun has his own strange greeting! His goes 'Your money or your life'!"
~Kiki

"You stole my car! Bad bunny! .... Now you're driving it off a cliff! Bad, BAD bunny!"
~Torg

"I'm so worried. Torg has been gone for so long! I don't know why but I have a feeling that something terrible has happened to him! Then again, it could just be because I have an upset stomach from eating a Mexican. MEXICAN MEAL! A Mexican meal. Burritos! Anyway, I'm surprised my stomach is so upset. She didn't look spicy. UH, did you know that in the Mexican language they use terms like 'he' and 'she' to refer to non-human objects like burritos?"
~Aylee

"If you were a real villain, you'd tell me your master plan before killing me. After you tell me your master plan, you can strap me to a table and cut me in half with a laser!"
~Torg

"'Torg's Head' is on the menu!"
~Zoe

"Dude! You just made me turn that guy into a SMURF!"
~Riff

"Riff, just because you're losing at Tekken3, that's no reason to jump into my desk drawer!"
~Torg

"Ugh. I'm not Kiki. I'm Riff. Ugh."
~Kiki

"'Rouge?' What kind of treasure is that? Is it magic rouge?"
~Torg

"Our mummy has fallen and he can't get up!"
~Torg

"Don't talk about candy, dude! I keep burping up snake!"
~Torg

"At least we are consistent. Body parts every year."
~Torg

"Holiday-wrapped six-foot-sub-sandwich-swordfights RULE!"
~Riff

"This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends and we go back to play-bite death-matching. You take the red pill, and I tell you the truth about... Hey! Kiki?!?! NO! Zoe, she ate BOTH pills!"
~Riff

"He played cards with Donald Trump for a cat! That's what I think he said!"
~Kiki

"Friends all got big-bad-sicky-sicky! No wakey-wakey! Me save! Me stop big-bad sicky-sicky!"
~Dr. Schlock

"She isn't dead! And she's DEFINITELY not a coatrack!"
~Torg

"Now tell me what's going on or I'll drink your blood! I mean, 'flink your mud'!"
~Sam

"Sounds like some evil undead candy."
~Bun-Bun

"I went cheap! My kneecaps are the twist-off kind! Actually I hear they're made by the same companies that make the pop-off kind."
~Torg

"Now look! I have this non-squid-like tentacle suction cup stuck to my head! Are you all happy?"
~Lord Horribus

"Do not feed the realistic Halloween decoration!"
~Sign around Aylee's neck

"Crikey! Be careful mate! You got a 'uge rabbit sittin' right on yer shoulder!"
~Steve Uozin, Demon Hunter

"My hassle-sense is tingling."
~Riff

"I took over the local route for Up-Ex shipping about five months ago. Noticed Riff right off the bat. ...First time I ever delivered a package labeled 'Warning: Do not taunt contents.'"
~Sasha

"Just be happy with the knowledge that eventually you will own a Playstation 2."
~Torg Angel

"You've been ordering porterhouse steaks WEEKLY? Just to get potates au gratin on the side?"
~Torg

"I'm at a steak funeral?"
~Sasha

"How non-cliche that the one guy who can explain what happened is delusional and holding a bomb."
~Skimpymoomoo

"I can't believe Santa is actually a shape-shifting half-alien mutant bent on world domination and allergic to nerf!"
~Squintyhoyo

"You need a gift that will totally surprise and impress her. 'Buckets of cheese' just won't cut it."
~Sasha

"Now THIS is silly! Except for my impending death."
~Torg

"Oh, that's just Zoe. I turned her into a camel."
~Torg

"I ran over here so fast I think I reversed the rotation of the earth for a few seconds."
~Riff

"Can't talk. Must play."
~Torg

"My time is too valuable to waste on such trifles! For you to attempt to steal ONE MINUTE of my productivity reveals the true depths of your immorality! Now excuse me, I have WORK to do!!"
~Kiki

"Aack! There's a ferret in my pants!"
~Bill Gates

"I'm not a tauntaun! I'm not a tauntaun!"
~Aylee

"Sir, I assure you the leopard-print wallpaper in your room is not made from real animals."
~Clerk at the hotel desk

"You killed my fish!" "Why does that pickle you?" "Now I fight for wisdom." "Your words scratch the back of my eyes." "YOU?!" "My feet hurt...with DESTINY!"
~the Torg Dream Fighters

"We can't go there! A gymnastic assassin may be waiting for me to arrive, determined to kill any girl named Zoe out of jealousy!"
~Torg

"I'm the muscle!"
~Kiki

"We're sisters! I mean, I'm his sister! He can't be a 'sister' because he's a GUY! Not that I NOTICED he's a guy..."
~Sasha

"I had a flower to give you for a wedding present, but I ate it."
~Kiki

"Torg, after dinner I'm going to sew us together with industrial-strength cord."
~Oasis

"But I only eat potatoes now! So are we friends again, Zoe?"
~Aylee

"According to last week's memo, we're supposed to be mortally wounded and die in somebody's arms just before revealing vital information like that."
~Member of Hereti-Corp

"Sorry, my angst-train derailed for a minute there."
~Riff

"I was playing the world's smallest violin for you and dropped the darn thing down my ear."
~Bun-Bun

"By the way, this is the most unconventional game of poker I've EVER played."
~The Bug

"'Hey, our friend is in a coma, let's freak him out if-and-when he comes to!' What's WRONG with you people?"
~Torg

"Kiki, did you put ALL the urine samples back EXACTLY where you found them? ...Want to explain to the nice nurse outside why my results came back 'apple juice'?"
~Torg

"The most dramatic program of the new season that I've ever never seen yet."
~Some guy over there

"Tonight. An ending you won't believe. From a program you never saw. And it's not even on yet."
~Ad for a TV show

"That, my dear ferret, was rare roast beef with white American and dijonaise on Dutch potato bread! CHARGE!"
~Torg

"I KNEW you were the one eating Riff's scented candles! They all thought it was that weirdo who used to smell Zoe's shoes."
~Torg

"Um...hi, Officer Guard Person! I came to see Oasis! I mean, Jane Doe! I'm a nun!"
~Kiki

"How did Operation 'Mail Myself Cheese' go?"
~Torg

"If you don't care, why did you just weld your belt-buckle to this thingie?"
~Zoe

"Oh powerful shadow, I summon and bind thee to this magic looking circle-thingy I drew on the ground!"
~Bun-Bun

"For my next trick, I'm going to pull a tiny ferret brain from behind your ear!"
~Bun-Bun

"I'm not sure if this puddle is decomposing laundry, rotting food, or primordial soup."
~Zoe

"Fluffy? Scurry that way really quickly!"
~Aylee

"Um, Zoe? Why did Torg just tear off his clothes and hop out the window making monkey sounds?"
~Gwynn

"The head of a caribou is not a valid form of ID."
~The carder guy at a bar

"Pa? Why don't I have poison glands and two pairs of maxillae?"
~Torg

"You mean they don't give you lots of money when you go bankrupt? ...That's un-American!"
~Torg

"I'm making a death-ray gun out of straws and ice cubes!"
~Riff

"Just take the path lined with mummified human husks."
~Brownbeak

"So, if your invention was a breakfast cereal, how nutritious would it be?"
~Mark

"True freedom is found by looking within mountains filled with lava."
~Riff

"I'm going to kill Gwynn. No, wait. I was the one who picked out this outfit. Can't kill myself... I know! I'll kill Riff! I can ALWAYS kill Riff."
~Zoe

"Riff barbecued all my old clothes."
~Zoe

"Gwynn wrapped a tree around you and tried to squeeze you to death!"
~Torg

"Hi, Mom? It's Zoe. ...Calm down, Mom! Nothing's wrong. I'm not in the hospital. No, I'm not at some 'rabe' tripping on 'etcetera'!"
~Zoe

"Straight-pins vs. inflatable technology. The straight-pin always wins."
~Riff

"I could take you with me, Torg! I'd have to pull you through the bars. It'd kind of be like pushing play-doh through a sieve."
~Bun-Bun

"We have no choice! Let's do that cool move that wins the battle!"
~Secret Angel Princess-Princess

"We've done our duty like men. Now is the time to cry like babies."
~Somebody on a ship

"If you know EVERYTHING about me, what number am I thinking of now?"
~Lord Grader

"Little does anyone know that Princess-Princess is Secret Angel Princess-Princess! That sounds really stupid when I say it out loud."
~Secret Angel Princess-Princess

"It's not a universe at all! It's a PUNYVERSE! Because it's...um...puny and stuff."
~Torg

"You're General Benedict in a dress! I can tell!"
~Secret Leader Weatherman

"Here he comes, Lord Grater, Lord Grater, he's smarter than a small potater..."
~Lord Grater's theme song

"We do not, NEVER have, NEVER will, even even CONSIDER not EATING PEOPLE never! NEVER!"
~Representative for the Guacans of Chau-5

"And this is our pet snoorf, who, believe it or not, is actually Secret Snoorfy Snoorfsnoorf!"
~Secret Leader Weatherman

"Ok, so we accidentally slow roast and eat people in self-defense!"
~Vacado

"Less debating, more panicking!"
~Torg

"Oh boy, oh boy! I'm gonna get it. Gonna get da sun. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!"
~Scooter the Cascade-Puppy of Doom

"Wait! I have another idea! We put the shuttlepod on extremely precise autopilot, then we all ride piggyback on it like a wave-runner and dive through the portal at the last possible moment!"
~Torg

"Four years of nifty darn comics, four years of nifty darn comics, four years of nifty darn co-o-omics, you parked this ship on my thigh! You parked this ship on my thigh, you parked this ship on my thigh, for years of nifty darn co-o-mics, you parked this ship on my thigh!"
~Kiki, Gwynn, Torg, and Riff, singing

"If ah ran over these flars with mah truck, do they count as roadkill?"
~Clem

"You don't HAVE to sleep in the tub, we just thought it was funny!"
~Riff

"Eek! Her irises and pupils just turned into dollar signs! Demon realtor! Demon realtor!"
~Torg "Sandwiches? The house comes with sandwiches? We're sold!"
~Torg and Riff

"Banana-ketchup is a scary condiment until you learn to embrace it."
~Torg

"I've seen dishes go flying across the room, crashing, doors slamming, paintings spinning, candles floating... It's the bestest house EVER! It's not like there's anything scary going on, like doing laundry!"
~Kiki

"Who's-a this 'Torg'? Mama Mia, I already tell you; I'm Turg le Turgturg, Swedish webdesign guru! I come der in peace-en!"
~Torg

"Today's Sesame Street was brought to Torg by the letter 'H.'"
~Riff

"Operation Run Around Willy-Nilly revealed that the guards are alert and don't pack lethal force."
~Riff

"You're looking so, um, fine, and...stuff...words..."
~Torg

"Gwynn, I told you to hold all my calls. All of them! FOREVER!"
~Aylee

"Maybe you'll talk to Happy-Wilson-Glow-Mouth!"
~Torg

"Her name was 'Brie.' She was named after cheese! How scary could she be?"
~Torg

"You're leaving before the alien-pumpkin-pie autopsy?"
~Angela

"Oh, sure, Riff may carry around an arsenal or two but he's harmless."
~Torg

"You can all come out from under the table. I'm not here to kill you. At least not ALL of you. Eh, the night's young, I make no promises."
~Bun-Bun

"You know, the Native American Indians used to use every part of the buffalo. Nothing went to waste. Then the white man came and killed off whole herds of buffalo for only their fingers!"
~Torg

"Do you offer any complimentary weapons at this fine establishment?"
~Gwynn

"Quick, Kiki! Be nonchalant!"
~Sasha

"Ice-ci-ci-cles make m-m-me shiny!"
~Kiki

"Silly stick figure! You can't 'float' on the BOTTOM of the ocean!"
~Pete

"To the winner, the spoils of the week! To the loser, death by pack of rabid puffin-dingoes!"
~Pete

"I wanna play wall cutouts!"
~Kiki

"It's a shadow! I couldn't punch it, set it on fire or throw it through walls. How's anyone supposed to deal with a problem like that?"
~Bun-Bun

"THIS looks like a job for emergency pants."
~Torg

"Darn. My shadow doesn't unleash anything on me."
~Kiki

"Anyone like to ASK for seconds instead of chanting it like some drunken debaucherous satanists?"
~Zoe's mom

"Clem? Is this your roadkill on the ottoman?"
~Zoe's dad

"Unleash the baby ducks."
~Mr. Killum

"Hi! I'd like to order a large helpme pie with Torg's-got-a-gun-pointed-at-me and extra cheese! Please deliver as soon as possible!"
~Sasha

"Beth! Put your face...put your face back on this instant! ...Don't you go levitating where I can't reach you! You get back down here, missy!"
~Torg

"'Taking care of myself' is my middle name! Um, names!"
~Torg

"All employees have the rest of the week off in celebration of No-Bert-Gwynn-Torg-Sasha-Here Day!"
~Memo from Aylee

"Reinforcements aren't allowed to call for reinforcements! That's just silly!"
~Hereti-Corps worker

"Retreat! ...Retreat the other way!"
~Hereti-Corps worker

"Why the heck didn't you guys think to waterproof robotic water-coolers? Duh."
~Torg

"Aren't 'our' friends all bleeding to death or something?"
~Aylee

"Go ahead! Lick my head! It might bring your memories back if you just lick my head!"
~Torg

"Hey, what's up with me and evil lairs?"
~Torg

"Skinning schrodingers! What craziness is this!"
~Dr. Schlock the puppet

"Noooooo! Don't eat it or it might eat you!"
~Dr. Schlock the puppet

"Torg, you don't seem yourself lately. I mean, you just cut someone's head off."
~Riff

"Behold my flexi-feed-tubes!"
~Torg

"Consider it a belated Sorry-I-Shot-You Day gift."
~Torg

"Why is a red dragon eating the porch railing?"
~Zoe

"Torg the lastnameless one! Can it be?"
~Student on the Hoggelrynth bus

"Could you hit Aylee on the nose with that TV?"
~Torg

"It's good to be away from my family, Gwynn. I mean, I really love them, but I really REALLY love them way over there!"
~Zoe

"Torg! Come quick! Gwynn just stuck a fork in your head and electrocuted herself!"
~Kiki

"Yes, it is I! Baron Turg von Turg le Turgturg."
~Torg

"The following story contains graphic violence not suitable for anyone. Parental guidance is suggested. Or you can just staple the kid's eyelids shut. That's not SUGGESTED. The parental guidance thingy is SUGGESTED, but we can't deny that staples are a timesaver."
~At the beginning of Kitten II

"I can't use a hacksaw on a kitten's head!"
~Torg

"No time for character development, Sid!"
~Riff

"I shall make...toast!"
~Riff

"Float, Bert, float!"
~Torg

"Ooooh! We get dinner today?"
~Kiki

"The sad ferret is missing my point about 'escaping the weird,' talking dragon-thing!"
~Donna

"The ghosts were supposed to be returned all at once, otherwise, we don't go home."
"Quite right. Like your 'slingshot' analogy. You now lack...the momentum. Plus, there'd be this neat 'twang' sound."
~Riff and Wilbur

"Anyone else notice the house tipping?"
"I thought it was just dramatic camera angles!"
~Riff and Torg

"Let me go, Riff. This is what I must do. Let me be the hero for once."
"Sorry, ma'am. I'm union."
~Gwynn and Riff

"It looked like BOMBS went off around here!"
"No. If you knew Riff, you'd know he could have caused this with a shrug and an 'oops'."
~Claire and Crystal

"Aylee, quick! Gnaw some trees into support-beams!"
~Torg

"Know what a Swedish light saber sounds like? Bejorrrrrn."
"Oh, I am SO ashamed that I laughed at that."
~Torg and Gwynn

"How's Torg?"
"I dressed him like a carrot and left him in Bun-Bun's room."
~Gwynn and Zoe

"Min, you ever have a weird dream?"
"Weird in-school-in-your-underwear-weird?"
"More like Torg-brain-switching-angry-Internet-lingerie-cam-weird."
~Zoe and Min

"I COULD start a cult! People would give their teeth for this...deal... Don't get an ideas."
"Start a cult? ME?"
"I meant stealing people's teeth."
"Been there, done that."
~Zoe and Bun-Bun

"Zoe, this is Gwynn! It's about Torg! HE'S GOT A FLAP!"
"WHAT, exactly does he gotta flap?"
"No, he HAS a flap! A magic flap!"
"What the heck is a...hello? Hello?"
~Gwynn and Zoe

"Are you both ordering from the children's menu?"
"The normal menus frighten Zoe."
~Kent and Torg

"You'll feel better after eating half a cow!"
"Of course I will. Who wouldn't?"
"The cow's mommy but let's not think too hard on that one."
~Torg and Riff

"So we test my curse-removal skills on Bun-Bun."
"What if something goes wrong? He'll kill us!"
"I already know a spell that'll turn him into something harmless, like...a rabbit. Never mind."
~Gwynn and Zoe

"He calls himself 'lone' while having a sidekick. How smart could he be?"
~Riff

"Can I help you, sir?"
"This isn't the line for the barbecue pit?"
"No, sir."
"What's a zeppole?"
"Fried dough."
"Fried dough?"
"Fried dough. With powdered sugar."
"Like a doughnut?"
"Sort of, yeah."
"More like dessert, not so much a hearty lunch."
"Not so much."
"Can I get the dough without the powdered sugar?"
"I guess so."
"Can you put meat in the dough?"
"No."
"Can you put meat AROUND the dough?"
"No."
"Can I get a side of meat?"
"No."
"Can you skip the dough and just fry meat?"
"With the powdered sugar or without?"
"Without."
"Then no."
"OK, then with."
"Still no."
~Girl at the food stand and Torg

"I could beat you in an untellectual debate with two brains tied behind my back!"
~Torg

"I didn't mean to call him an inbreed stinky-pits!"
"Yes you did."
"Well I didn't mean to have to face repercussions for it!"
~Torg and Riff

"You couldn't possibly be assuming you still work here...AFTER NOT SHOWING UP FOR A WEEK!?!"
"I was on maternity leave."

~Riff's boss and Riff

"Measure twice and eat once, that's what I always say!"
~Torg

"Can I help? I want to do something around here!"
"I hope you mean by making me some lemonade or sandwiches because house reconstruction isn't a place for ladies like yourself."
"You put a door where a window was supposed to go! How could I possibly do worse?"
"What door? I don't see any door!"
"It fell out because you didn't even bother to hinge it!"
"And it could have crushed you when it fell! Not a place for women at all!"

~Gwynn and Torg "Interoffice memo of doom."
"OK...thanks. It says I'm to be transformed into a gnome."
~Messenger and Riff

"I'm getting retirement benefits?"
"No, pretty beads! Take them with our gratitude!"
~Grahammy and his boss

"I have to pack because we're moving! Riff and I are moving to Alaska forever! And ever! You'll nevre see us again!"
"Don't let the door hit your butt ont he way out, pinning your tail and ripping it painfully from your body."
"I KNEW he cared!"
~Kiki and Bun-Bun

"You packed Kiki in a box and mailed her?"
"Only a little."
~Zoe and Bun-Bun

"Riff sent a secret coded message entitled, 'Things I need sent!' He says, ahem... In Alaska there's no night. No night! EYAAAH! IT'S NEVER DARK! DAY FOREVER! I DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SLEEP, WHEN TO BE AWAKE, THERE IS NO NIIIIIIIIGHT!"
~Torg

"You're going to a CLOWN NIGHT SCHOOL?"
~Gwynn

"A power surge has caused a massive blackout across the eastern seaboard! Luckily for you, you had this battery powered radio on!"
"Blackout? But...but it's daytime!"
"It's THAT massive."
~Radio and Torg

"Help! I've got swirl-eye!"
~Torg

"I see you've got a bad case of swirl-eye. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry, but in your case it's permanent and terminal. Here, have some chocolate milk! You'll feel better."
~Doctor

"Novocain please!"
"Nothing is real but PAIN. Would you rob yourself of that last grasp of truth?"
~Torg and Dr. Avarre

"Back off, angsty dentist! I've got doilies and I know how to use them!"
~Torg

"Underneath his lust for vengeance, he's a pussycat!"
~Headmaster of Hoggelrynth

"No one can hope to escape them save for running away very quickly. And even that rarely works."
~Somebody or other at Hoggelrnyth

"The snagger has snagged the things he's supposed to snag!"
~Announcer at a Snackewyrm game

"You guys didn't arm yourselves with nerf? Secret plans? HELLO?"
~Bun-Bun