ThePhan is back.
Maryam: Yeah yeah, the Phan is back!
Maryam: What did she see, in the parallel dimension?
Maryam: She saw beans, lots of beans lots of beans, beans, beans, lots of beans lots of beans...
ThePhan: Seeing lots of beans in my shower would be a very troubling experience.
Maryam: If it's a shower in a parallel dimension, well, you just never know what you'll see there.

ThePhan: My friend just made a LaZorra-esque typo.
ThePhan: "the only class i had today was my boi lab"
ThePhan: BOI LAB
Randy: BOI LAB!
ThePhan: WITH STUDY GUYS
Randy: hehehe
LaZorra: TP: LOL LOL
[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'There are never enough study guys to go around in my boi lab.' by LaZorra.

ThePhan: "You aren't planning to build a potpatoo cannon, are you?" -- does anyone remember what this was *supposed* to be?
TalkingDog: Potato cannon?
TalkingDog: I knew someone who made one out of a Pringles can.
ThePhan: That must be it.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Ha, that rules.
Goosey: I think "potpatoo" is the noise it makes.
TalkingDog: He also described a way to turn an oven into a turkey cannon. Kind of a lot of crazy.
ThePhan: Goosey: LOL
* ThePhan wants to go around yelling "POTPATOO" at random moments now as a sound effect.
ThePhan: TD: That sounds... intense.
Crystal109: TP: Intense sounds a little too easygoing for that.
Crystal109: Also, Goosey: No, no new ones. But they're worth rereading.
ThePhan: Remind me not to have Thanksgiving at that guy's house. Turkey and mashed potatoes will be shooting at me from all sides.

ThePhan: Hii all.
ThePhan: I suppose that's pronounced "Hee."
ThePhan: At least if you follow the Japanese video game system pronunciation.
Goosey: TP: I always thought it was a long, drawn out Hi
Goosey: TP: LOL
ThePhan: Otherwise I'm playing a video game that's pronounced "Why Fit?"

TalkingDog: JEJ's vowels are a little hard to pin down.
TalkingDog: Even trickier than Goofy's way of doubling the number of syllables some vowels take up.
ThePhan: Yeah.
ThePhan: My father says he wants you to do Goofy and Vader at the same time.
* ThePhan blinks.
TalkingDog: LOL! I actually promised I'd do that at RU8, but I couldn't go... And I didn't think up any material either.
ThePhan: Nice.
ThePhan: Ummm...
ThePhan: "Luke, I am your father. Ha-yuk!"

* TalkingDog randomly recalls a brief dozing-off "vision" he had when he was dozing off one time. There was a musical opening where people were going about their happy lives. The only lyrics I remember are "Ev-ry-body's burping! Nobody knew!"

Randy: The guy at Best Buy told my friend that none of the new computers were XP compatible. Except the mac's

niekie: I said "press enter" to speech recognition.
niekie: And "breast cancer" came out.

TalkingDog: I want to go for a walk, but it's about -800 Kelvin out there.
10Kan: Negative K? You have to walk then! FOR SCIENCE!

ThePhan: My sister was playing Wii Fit the other day and trying to figure out the exercise where you walk across the tightrope.
ThePhan: So my brother, who is several years older and several pounds heavier than her, decided he'd show her the best way to do it.
ThePhan: He gets on the board, which was currently calibrated to her weight, and the significant change in weight made it go a little nuts.
ThePhan: The Mii started jumping and wouldn't stop until eventually it jumped off the tightrope.
ThePhan: It took us awhile to figure out why. We were a little concerned that maybe it had broken somehow. Heh.
Revan: Awesome.
ThePhan: But my FAVORITE video game mishap story:
ThePhan: A friend and I were playing Trauma Center. After about three operations they stop reminding you which tool is which, figuring you know them by now.
ThePhan: So my friend finishes removing all the tumors from this guy and goes back to stitch him up.
ThePhan: She starts stitching him up when his health suddenly plummets and he dies.
ThePhan: Turns out, she had grabbed the scalpel instead of the suture.
ThePhan: She removed the tumors and then essentially stabbed the man to death multiple times.
TalkingDog: LAWSUIT
ThePhan: On either side of the wound. Heh.
ThePhan: Smoooooth.

Sam: I WILL NOW TELL YOU WHAT THE NEW FEATURE IS.
Goosey: WOOO!!!
ThePhan: REALLY?
Sam: It is......................................................................
LaZorra: SAM DO NOT TOY WITH THE RINKIES
LaZorra: IT IS NOT NICE
TalkingDog: (5 stars)
LaZorra: TD: LOL LOL
ThePhan: TD: LOL
ThePhan: I AM PAUSING AMERICAN IDOL TO LISTEN TO THIS
ThePhan: MY WHOLE FAMILY IS WAITING
ThePhan: AND THEY ARE STAMPING THEIR FEET
LaZorra: Sam: AN BUTTERFLY
ThePhan: ...And for some reason chanting "We want Sam," which I *think* means they want Sam to reveal this.
Sam: Murkon's Big Trouble! A game where you go to exciting places like Cartograph, and meet strange new adventurers, like Warrio, Sorcera, and Steel the Thief! Learn new skills such as SNOWFLAKE and spells such as BASKET WEAVING. Finally, you have to face the ultimate challenge in THE CRYPT OF MURKON, where Murkon is waiting for you so he can KILLLL you!
Maryam: LOL LOL
Sam: MURKON'S BIG TROUBLE: COMING SOON TO A RINKWORKS NEAR YOU!
* LaZorra dies laughing.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
TalkingDog: LOL
TalkingDog: Nut.
ThePhan: My family is not impressed.
Sam: It costs $50 to play.
Goosey: YOU MADE THEPHAN PAUSE AMERICAN IDOL FOR *THAT*???
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: LOL
Maryam: I see you changed it just enough that you don't have to pay Tofu_Ninja any royalties.
Goosey: That was brilliant.
Sam: Change? Tofu Ninja? This is an original idea!
TalkingDog: That was absolutely dreadful (DF). It was like listening (L) to a karaoke bar (KB).
Maryam: Mmhmm.
Sam: On the registration form, you have to enter your age.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Sam: If your age is at least 18, Sorcera will be depicted as having CLEAVAGE!!!!!!!!
LaZorra: 0.0
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
LaZorra: PLEASE LORD NO
TalkingDog: That sounds Dave-inspired.
Maryam: But what if you're a girl??
Sam: If you're a girl, Sorcera will have a five o'clock shadow instead.
LaZorra: Namely because I just got a flashback to whatever her name is in Sinbad.
* ThePhan is thinking HoN pics will be incorporated...
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: And picturing her with cleavage is NOT PRETTY.
Sam: LOL! A Murkon game with all HoN pics for monster portraits WOULD RULE.

Sam: "Busboy" is one word. "Bus boy" (a tiny male bus) is two.

Sam: likeflint: Have you ever been in a Turkish prison camp?
likeflint: No. Why?
ThePhan: It's Turkish Prison Camp Night. If you had been, you'd have gotten an extra 5 points in the game.

Ticia: On our way to RU2, we had a chocolate orange in the car. It melted and then fused back together overnight.
Ticia: We did not know this, however.
Ticia: I went to SMACK it against the dashboard to break it up, and broke the dashboard instead.
Ticia: Don still teases me about that.

ThePhan: IMDb lists 291 titles with the keyword "skiing."
ThePhan: Most of these I have never heard of.
ThePhan: And at least 50 of them are documentaries.
ThePhan: Including one called "Are Your Skis On Straight?"
LaZorra: LOL
Sam: Nice.
Randy: That was always my problem
LaZorra: VARY IMPOARTANT QUESTION
ThePhan: I'm guessing the documentary consists of lots of shots of people whose skis are not on straight.

Ghost of Sam: Wow. I'm looking at a computer stupidities submission wherein the submitter prefixed all the 'customer' lines with 'costumer'.

Sam: I GOT MY NOSE BURNT OFF!!!!!!
ThePhan: Hey Sam.
ThePhan: YAY!
Goosey: SAM! You . . . whahuh?
Sam: The snot running down the back of my throat tasted like burnt flesh.
Sam: It was pretty cool.
ThePhan: NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD
Goosey: Um.
Sam: So now my nose will be running for the next 12 hours, probably, but I WILL NO LONGER BLEEEEEED!
Goosey: I missed something -- what happened to your nose?
Sam: That doctor is just about my favorite person.
Nyperold has entered.
Sam: Goosey: I've had chronic nose bleeds ever since I can remember. This doctor cauterized one side 2-3 years ago and changed my life. Then the other side started acting up. SO I HAD IT BURNT OFF TOO!
Nyperold: Hello all!
Goosey: Oh gross -- but yay no more bleeding!
Sam: I'm so excited.
Goosey: I'm happy for you and your roasted nose, Sam.
niekie: Sam: can you hide it?
ThePhan: "Noses roasting on an open fire... Doctors burning off your nose..."
Goosey: LOL
Sam: LOL
TalkingDog: LOL!
Sam: No problem is so great a little burnt flesh can't fix it.

ThePhan: I dreamed that in the terms and service of RinkChat, it said that if you ever left Chat without saying goodbye, you would be banned from RinkWorks forever.

[Randy->ThePhan] I should go to this http://www.lbc.org/DRAMA/
[ThePhan->Randy] That would be awesome!! Go for it!
[Randy->ThePhan] I would really love too. I'll talk to the singles minister about it...he's the one who sent me the info.
[ThePhan->Randy] LOL I thought that first sentence was "I really love you too" and I was like, "Er, well, thanks, but that was out of nowhere."

* TalkingDog wants to visit people. Darn you people who aren't in walking distance.
ThePhan: TD: Illinois is totally within walking distance!
ThePhan: Over several days, anyway!
TalkingDog: Maybe for King Kong.

10Kan: Oh darn, ashley left.
10Kan: I was hoping we'd overwhelm her with pure Rinkieness.
Randy: I love pick on newbs night.
LaZorra: Randy: It really should be a weekly event.
LaZorra: Every Friday.
LaZorra: Better than happy hour.
10Kan: "They're some sort of dog-cult or something!"
Randy: Oh totally. It brings us closer together
ThePhan: Find a random person in a random chat room, send them a link to RinkChat, and then run away.
LaZorra: TP: LOL LOL
ThePhan: Let the fun begin!
10Kan: The Most Dangerous Chat.
LaZorra: We'd get the ban on bad.
* Nyperold always associates that "War" song with Red's nephew Harold.
ThePhan: Well, the sooner we start inviting these people to RinkWorks, the sooner we can ban them.
LaZorra: yesssss
10Kan: We need a scoreboard.
ThePhan: There are a lot of people in the world. If we don't start banning the ones we don't want NOW, we're going to be in trouble.
10Kan: "000.00003% of the internet's population has been banned from RinkChat"
Randy: We should premeptively ban some people.
[RinkChat] Users from IP address 123.45.67.89 have been banned from RinkChat by TalkingDog.
TalkingDog: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
10Kan: LOL
LaZorra: TD: LOL LOL
Randy: LOL!
ThePhan: Let's ban the crazy old lady from Iowa who woke us up at 6:00 in the morning by running up the stairs screaming "IT'S TIME FOR THE SUNRISE!"
ThePhan: I definitely don't want her in hre.
wintermute: I think that is The President's IP!
LaZorra: NO RINKCHAT FOR OBAMA
wintermute: No, not that president.
LaZorra: Okay, but if Obama comes in here, I'm still banning him.
Nyperold: 6 AM would be an interesting time to watch Sunrise.
wintermute: The President of Mars.

[Maryam's label said "hichichichichichic"]
ThePhan: OH.
ThePhan: I get Maryam's label now.
LaZorra: GIGGLEHIC
ThePhan: ...Unless it isn't really hiccups.
Maryam: It is.
ThePhan: Because I've been reading it as "hichi chi chi chi chi chi" etc.
Maryam: Although hopefully they are finally subsiding.
Randy: awww
LaZorra: TP: LOL
ThePhan: It sounded Japanese or something.

ThePhan: Neil Patrick Harris anagrams into "Slinkier Patriarch" and "A Crinklier Harpist."
Maryam: Ha! I like this anagram of my name: Blaming Normality.
ThePhan: My father's full name anagrams to "Him Evangelic. Me Kill."

Lynette has entered.
TalkingDog: Ly.net/tte!
TalkingDog: ...Darn. I was hoping that was a real page.

ThePhan: This person is claiming that "Hey Jude" is one of the worst songs of all time.
ThePhan: I beg to differ. although I have just finished talking about how I liked boy bands.
Randy: Wait, what?
Randy: I read that as "worst worship songs"
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: Well, it IS a terrible worship song.
Randy: Thats what made my head asplode
ThePhan: There is a Jude who wrote part of the Bible, but it's completely baffling to sing this song to him.
ThePhan: This song cheered him up enough he could write an epistle!

ThePhan: For some reason Micah is wandering around asking all the family members if they want him to burp.
ThePhan: They are all saying no. I don't know if he's waiting for a yes or just taking a poll.
Randy: LOL
wintermute: You should say yes, and see what happens.
ThePhan: He seems to be done with it now.
wintermute: Oh.
wintermute: Tell him I want him to burp!
ThePhan: He said, "Okay." He looked at me for a second and said, "Are you going to close your ears or anything?" I said no, and then he burped.
wintermute: LOL!
wintermute: That is 7 put of 10 Awesome!

wintermute: Plan B emergency contraceptive is sponsoring 17 Kids and Counting!
LaZorra: PLAN B IS NOT AN EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVE
LaZorra: STOP SPREADIN RUMORS ABOUT MY GAME

LaZorra: This strikes me as funny: https://www.cia.gov/careers/jobs/view-...r-interactive-multimedia-emphasis.html
LaZorra: Okay, it's the CIA hiring graphic designers, first of all.
LaZorra: But what really gets me is the "Important Notice."
ThePhan: That is awesome.
ThePhan: If I were a graphic designer I would totally have to apply.
LaZorra: OH MY GOSH IF PEOPLE LEARN YOU WANT TO DO GRAPHIC DESIGN FOR THE CIA THEY WILL TARGET YOUR FAMILY
LaZorra: THEY WILL FORCE YOU TO REVEAL ALL OF YOUR PHOTOSHOP SECRETS

ThePhan: I do have an awesome Seth quote, though.
Goosey: Ooh, okay.
ThePhan: Mom was playing with him and asked, "Who are you?"
ThePhan: He responds, "I am Seth. Your son."
ThePhan: She says, "Yeah? Prove it!"
ThePhan: He looks at her with disdain and says, "Where do you think proof comes from? Everywhere? Well, it doesn't!
ThePhan: "
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: It reminded me of a few months ago, when I asked him what he would do if I had amnesia and couldn't remember who he was.
ThePhan: He said, "Well, first I would just tell you. And if you didn't believe it, I would show you my birth certificate. And THEN if you didn't believe me, I would show you my fingerprints."
ThePhan: It was a great answer.

Sparklyzz: its all so new here :D
Ticia: It's new and Sparkly. Rinkworks only opened 3 days ago.
Ticia: It's amazing how much content that Sam guy put up in so little time.
Ticia: It's like it's been here for years.

Ghost of Sam: Ok, I think the new feature is ready.
Ghost of Sam: I'm nervous.
Ghost of Sam: What if I forgot something?
Maryam: Then we'll be sure to ever-so-lovingly point it out and you'll fix it.
Maryam: Unless it's not obvious that anything's missing. Then we'll never know!
Ghost of Sam: You make it sound so easy.
Maryam: Really what I'm trying to say is PUT IT UP ALREADY.
10Kan has entered.
Ghost of Sam: I'll doublecheck everything once more, and then do just that.
10Kan: Are we talking about the advent of the new stuff?
10Kan: Oh yes. We are.
* 10Kan has his wallet ready to go!
10Kan: Seriously. I'm actually going to send money to rinkworks for the first time ever, I think.
Ghost of Sam: Ok, here is the new feature. Paypal me 500, and you get to be a [mod]!
10Kan: LOL
Ghost of Sam: (*in rooms you create only)
Maryam: Hehehe.
10Kan: Pshaw! I can do that already!
* 10Kan is a l33t h4xx0r.
10Kan: Unless...you're removing that feature and will instead visit public and private rooms as a vengeful Sam-god, raining kicks and possessions on the un-modded.
Ghost of Sam: If it'll cause you to give me 500 dollars, I *will* remove that feature.
10Kan: You drive a hard bargain.

Lynette: Ooh, ooh, if I order one from YOU Sam, can it be AUTOGRAPHED?
Lynette: Because then it will totally be worth millions someday.
Lynette: and also autographed books are awesome.
ThePhan: Ooooooh
niekie: Especially because it is DEFECTIVE *and* AUTOGRAPHED. :-P
* ThePhan would be all for an autographed book.
Dave: That's right. It's like error cards in baseball card collecting. The defect makes it worth more!
niekie: Yup!
Dave: This one has a big stain on the cover! It's worth billions!
Dave: Hey, somebody ripped four pages out of this one. SQUILLIONS!

ThePhan: Sam: I am going to print out every single RinkChat transcript ever and make you autograph every single page of every one at the RinkUnion.
Maryam: LOL
* 10Kan would buy that!
10Kan: The Rinkchat Folios!
10Kan: And be sure to include more transcripts with me in 'em.
Lynette: And maybe you can go through and draw appropriate pictures on some of the pages. That would be AMAZING.
ThePhan: 10K: I will go through and add in a bunch of lines you might have said if you were there.
10Kan: YES!
10Kan: Or leave blank lines for me to add my own comments.
niekie: ThePhan: oooh! Do that for me too!
niekie: Haha.
ThePhan: 10K: Okay, that works!
ThePhan: Or it could be like a madlib.
ThePhan: "10Kan: Wow, that seems so _____________!"
iwpg has entered.
iwpg: Greetings.
ThePhan: I think I might also change it so that everything anyone LOLs at in the transcript is said by me.

Sam: Ok, time to close the Oscar game.
ThePhan: I have to make all my guesses right now!
ThePhan: And it will take me at LEAST two hours to decide!
Sam: TP: I'll give you two minutes.

Randy: Ok, my cousin is married to this Canadian guy, and they have two kids. The oldest, Logan, is crazy.
Randy: He was at a birthday party, playing Wii sports. Wanted to play boxing, but this kid said that his mom wouldn't like him playing that, since Christians aren't supposed to fight.
Randy: The kids mom said it was ok, since it was just pretend.
Randy: So later on, they were play fighting, and wrestling around. The mom said that this was the kind of fighting she didn't want Christians to do.
Randy: Logan said "Silly, I'm not a Christian. I'm a Canadian!"

Maryam: If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat
Maryam: Eat my buddy Pumbaa here because he is a treat!
Goosey: LOL
Maryam: Come on down and dine
Maryam: On this tasty swine
Maryam: All you have to do is get in line!
Goosey: Yay!
Maryam: Are you achin'
TalkingDog: Yup yup yup.
Maryam: For some bacon?
TalkingDog: Yup yup yup.
Goosey: LOL
Maryam: He's a big pig!
Maryam: You can be a big pig too!
ThePhan: OY
* TalkingDog runs away.
Goosey: Woo!
Maryam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: So I think I should do that more often. Show up randomly at the end of conversations, yell "OY!" and do a hula dance and then run away screaming.
* Goosey applauds
Goosey: TP: LOL
ThePhan: I think I would be more memorable that way.
Maryam: LOL
TalkingDog: LOL
Randy: You guys are so AWESOME

Maryam: Someday I'm going to make an escape game. The room will be full of bizarre and interesting objects that you can interact with and combine. I wonder how many people will fool around with them a lot before they realize the door's already unlocked.

Sam: Now, when the report card game out, it listed my grades: A, F, B, with a final semester grade of B.
LaZorra: Sam: That's the roundabout way of doing things.
wintermute: Sam: You scored an air force base?

ThePhan: So Nathan was being a goof, and Mom told Seth to tell him to stop.
ThePhan: Seth says, "Stop it, Nathan, you filthy slob!"
ThePhan: *blinkblink*
ThePhan: Seth then cheerfully says, "That was fun!"
ThePhan: I said that was maybe an overreaction to Nathan's goofiness.
ThePhan: Seth responds, "But it felt good. You know why it felt good to insult him? Because he always beats me up!"

LaZorra: So I think Ellmyruh and I are going to see if we can apply to be on the Amazing Race.
LaZorra: The only hitch is that you're supposed to send in a video in which both of you appear together.
Maryam: LOL
LaZorra: I'm wondering if they'd accept editing magic to make that happen.
ThePhan: Time for some fancy video editing!
LaZorra: LOL
TalkingDog: Worth a shot?
LaZorra: TD: LOL! Probably!
LaZorra: Yeah, I think we're going to try it, at least.
LaZorra: Deadline's Feb. 17, though, so it's coming up FAST.
TalkingDog: Put a pic of Elly in the background and just put some moving lips over it like they do on Conan.
LaZorra: LOL
ThePhan: Or you could go all Plan 9 and have a video of Elly wandering through the woods, and then when she appears with you, it could be somebody's chiropractor with a cloak over her face.
LaZorra: LOL LOL

ThePhan: Indy vs. Han Solo is not an easy call.
Maryam: Do they get all their stuff? Because in a fight between Millennium Falcon vs. whip, I think I know what would win.

LaZorra: I dunno, James Bod might still take Indy.
LaZorra: *Bond

Maryam: I just had the weirdest mental... not image, but sound.
Maryam: You know in Disney's Cinderella where she's taking them their morning tea and they're all yelling "CINDERELLA!" at her?
Maryam: I just thought of that, except with "INDIANA!" instead.
Maryam: My brain goes weird places sometimes.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: That's great.
Nyperold: Indiana, Indiana, nice to say it, Indiana...
wintermute: "We named the <i>dog</i> 'Cinderella'."

wintermute: OK, Christian Bale: Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, Batman, or Jack Kelly from Newsies?
wintermute: Or John Conner in Terminator 4?
ThePhan: Hmm.
ThePhan: Jack Kelly could distract them by suddenly singing to them, but he *did* get caught multiple times, which seems to not bode well for him.
ThePhan: Batman's enemies seem to always come back.
wintermute: That's because he refuses to kill. Unlike Patrick Bateman.
ThePhan: Bateman is just Batman with an extra letter. And therefore a more complete version of Batman. So, uh... Bateman!
ThePhan: But they could all be killed by Barretteman, who has FIVE extra letters.
TalkingDog: Don't forget Barrettewoman.

ThePhan: Also, there's a professionally-dressed guy walking around the computer lab rebooting all the computers that aren't being used and forcefully opening and closing the printer drawers.
ThePhan: He's also going in and out of doors slamming them, then yanking paper out of the printer, crumpling it up and throwing it in the trash can loudly.
Randy: Werid
ThePhan: He's kind of terrifying.
Goosey: TP: yiukes
ThePhan: I'm worried his next move will be to smash the printer over my head.
Randy: NOOOOOOO
TalkingDog: "You's da one dat made fun o' my MySpace story!"

ThePhan: ...I can think of no reason for "If You're Happy and You Know It" sung by Mickey Mouse to be playing on my personal radio station.
10Kan: It's simple: you've finally gone off the deep end.
10Kan: When Mickey gets to the verse "If you're happy and you know it...BURN THEM ALL," don't do it!