JUDGE, JURY AND JAILOR

by Carrie

Jeremy was at the home of his friend April, the police officer.  April was probably the prettiest cop on the local force, an off-duty beauty with long curly blond hair.  She would have more men knocking down her door if she wore a business suit and makeup to work every day.  She and Jeremy were not romantically intimate but instead they had the type of relationship that was becoming all too rare - a man and a woman who were good friends and talked about everything.  On this night, April was off-duty and having a party at her house.  Jeremy was the last guest remaining.  He had quite a bit to drink and finally worked up the nerve to ask the question of April he had been dying to ask.
  "Will you pretend to arrest me?"  Jeremy sheepishly asked.  He felt embarrassed as he sat on April’s couch with her standing over him.  "Wait right there," she told him.  April went upstairs, leaving Jeremy to sit and wonder about what she was doing and what was about to happen.  A mix of emotions ran through him.  He felt a rush of anxiety, nervousness, and excitement because he thought his fantasy just might be coming true!  April was up in her bedroom for what seemed like forever to Jeremy.  After several minutes, she finally came back downstairs.  She stormed over to the couch that Jeremy sat on, and pulled him up violently by the arm.  "Against the wall," she ordered.  Jeremy was stunned and delayed a second before reacting and doing what he was told.  He placed his hands on the wall of the living room and leaned back against it.  The next sensation he felt was April frisking him - he was getting more excited by the second!  "You’re under arrest," April said as she pulled his left arm behind his back.  She handcuffed him carefully.  "I knew they let us take these home for a reason."  That made Jeremy laugh but April snapped at him.  "Shut up!  You have to right to remain silent," she recited.  "Anything you say will be used against you."
  But Jeremy didn’t have Miranda rights.  He had the rights of April.  "You have the right to appear before a judge and confess.  You do not have the right to an attorney because court will be in session in five minutes." Then April spun Jeremy around to face her.  "Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you, scumbag?"
  "Yes, Officer, I do," Jeremy said, barely able to get out the words.  "Let’s go," April said as she took hold of his arm.  She led him upstairs toward her bedroom, somewhere Jeremy had never been.  "You wait out here," she said, closing the door and again leaving Jeremy alone with his thoughts.  This was incredible for him so far because he had never been manhandled like this before.  But what did she mean by court was in session?  What was going to happen next?
  What happened was April opened the bedroom door to reveal wearing a black judge’s robe.  Actually, it was the gown from her college graduation.  "Go over to the right side of the bed and get down on your knees," she ordered.  Jeremy did as April walked over to the left side and stood.  She used a hammer in place of a gavel and called the court to order.
  "Now tell me about your crimes," she commanded of the helpless defendant.
  Jeremy stuttered slightly, still not fully aware of what was going on.
"Tell me what you have done now," April ordered again.  "Uh, well, one time I drove a car drunk and got away with it," he spat out.
That made April change her tone of voice back to a serious one.  "Really?"
she
said.  "Years ago," Jeremy answered, lowering his head in shame.  It was
obviously not something he was proud of.  "What else?" April wanted to
know,
resuming her role in this little game.
  "I stole beer once."
  "I see.  Tell me, why are your offenses all alcohol-related, you little worm?" she said forcefully.
  "Not all of them."
  "There’s more?"
  "I stole things from my old job after I quit.  Tapes, reference books, computer disks."  Jeremy had previously worked at a TV station.  "And one time I was at Arby’s and the kid gave me too much change and I kept it." "So you like to take stuff that isn’t yours?  You get a thrill out of it or something?"
  "Yes, Your Honor.  I think I have some unpaid parking tickets too." "Well, this is quite some rap sheet.  How do you plead to these offenses?"
  "I’m guilty, Your Honor."
  "You certainly are.  I hereby sentence you to one night in prison.  Now go sit in that chair, it’s time for you to change into your prison uniform." Still handcuffed behind his back, Jeremy put himself on the chair near April’s vanity area while she went into the bathroom.  What does she mean by prison uniform, and how much farther is this going to go?  April came right back out and walked around to face him in the chair.  What she had was her makeup and lipstick!  Jeremy started to protest and beg she wouldn’t do it but he couldn’t stop her with his arms pinned.  "Hey, you’re the prisoner and I’m the cop," April said as she started to apply the beauty aids to his face.  "You asked to play the game, and you’ve gotta play by my rules.  Anyway, you’ll feel better when you see how gorgeous you are." Next, April went around to his back and started fiddling with his arms.
"What are you doing back there?" he asked.  "You’ll see in a minute," she
replied, but she was making him prettier and fashionable by putting her
jewelry on him - one of her smaller watches and two bracelets.  April
walked
over to her closet and pulled out a floral dress with purple as its
dominant
color.
  "Oh, no," Jeremy chuckled.
  "Oh, yes.  I’m going to take the cuffs off, and you’re going to go in the bathroom, and change."
  Jeremy had never cross-dressed before and it took him about ten minutes to find his way around the garment and put it on.  No one would ever mistake him for a woman, but since Jeremy had long hair to his shoulders, and because April had done a good application job, he didn’t look that bad.  Even he had to admit he was having more fun than he thought he’d bargained for, and was laughing when he emerged from April’s bathroom.  "Nobody can ever be told about this," Jeremy said.  "Of course not, Jennifer," April responded.  "I won’t tell a soul, but we’re not done here.  Hands against the wall, prisoner."  April started to pat down his feminized body again, and Jeremy/Jennifer began to get very excited.  "Need to make sure you’re not hiding a weapon in there," April said, which made the prisoner think, Oh, I’ve got a weapon and it’s about to go off!  She pulled back his hands and cuffed them again and then led him downstairs and toward the front door.  "Wait a minute," the prisoner said.  "Where are we going?"
  April looked him square in the eye.  "Prison," she said with a stone face.
  "Dressed like this?"
  April did not answer but instead she walked out to her driveway and opened the back door of her car while Jeremy stood in the doorway and tried to stay out of sight.  April looked around and saw no action on the street.  "OK, come on," she said.  Jeremy was still afraid to move.  "Now," she repeated.  Jeremy rushed into the backseat of the car unseen.  April placed her hand on his head as he twisted into the vehicle.
  Jeremy tried to collect his thoughts as soon as he sat down and April closed the door:
  What is she going to do with me?  Oh God, is she taking me to the real prison?  No, she wouldn’t.  But I never thought she’d put me in drag either!
What if she takes me to the women’s prison?  Oh, this is amazing!
  April drove the car around the block and pulled it right back into her own driveway.  She parked the car and turned to Jeremy in the backseat.  "Did I scare you?"
  "I thought you were really taking me to jail," he said, getting hotter and hotter and still feeling a bit tipsy.  "You were gonna put Jennifer in jail," he went on, gyrating.  "With all the other bad, beautiful women, and..." He was losing it.  April turned away and just listened as Jeremy gave her dress the Bill Clinton PRESIDENTIAL STAIN OF APPROVAL!  After he was done, he finally calmed down and realized what happened.  "Oh my God, I’m so sorry," he said.  "I forgot where I was.  Oh God, I can’t believe I did that.  I can’t believe you saw that.  I’ll make it up to you, I’ll get it cleaned."
  "No, it’s yours," April said.  "Believe me, I’m never wearing that again.
Take it home, you’ll love it.  Now come on, let’s get you inside."
  "At least let me buy you a new dress," Jeremy pleaded after he was all cleaned up and back in his own clothes.
  "Don’t worry about it.  Hey, that was as much fun for me as it was for you."
  "I don’t know about that," Jeremy snickered.
  "Well, OK, but nobody ever let me have their way with them like that.  That was a rush for me.  But next time, you’re the cop and I’m the prisoner."