Just so you know, um, Sarah is a friend of Luke's. She grew up with he and Biggs. She's Force sensitive but lives with really mean adoptive parents. Soooooo...she and Luke have a lot in common, I guess, especially b/c in this fic, Owen was a meanie to Luke. So it's Leia, Luke, and Sarah all together on the moisture farm Luke grew up on as a kid. And just so you know, I don't know if they have/use extension cords or plug-ins in the Star Wars universe. I never paid attention to that aspect. And books are not rare in this story! So there!

I don't know why I don't like Leia...Sometimes I do, but the times I don't greatly outweigh the times I do.

Oh, and, um, no offense to Leia or Bail lovers. K? Also, if you notice characters speaking differently or better than they normally would, I find it very hard to break my rules of grammar unless I have deemed it necessary. Well, here we go--onto my work of satire! [beware--I'm typing this after midnight mostly b/c I can't sleep!]

Making fun of Leia IS fun!

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Luke and Leia are at the farm so that they can figure out a way to free Han. Only, they seem to keep getting sidetracked... Sarah had been flying Beggars Canyon when she sensed Luke.

"Oh, yeah, Luke...Bail Organa once came here, remember? Biggs had just turned 14 so that made you and I more or less 12," said Sarah. "In fact, I remember it very clearly...His Royal Kingship said he wanted to make Tatooine better for everyone so he publically donated money to poor, deprived Jabba the Hutt. Ugh. I was so disgusted. I learned one very important thing from dear Mr. Bail's visit and that's to NOT trust royalty! Don't you agree?"

"Yeah, sure, Sarah," came Luke's distracted reply. Truth be told, he'd not heard a word she'd said being instead engrossed with whatever book he was currently reading. Leia, on the other hand...

"I beg your pardon??? Just because the money didn't go to support uncouth criminals doesn't mean--" Sarah quickly cut her off.

"And Jabba's a saint? My, but dear, sweet, princess, I didn't know that Jabba was that deserving of the money. In fact, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. It has to do with your beloved father. And this is no fiction--I saw him do it myself!"

"Fine then," snapped Leia. "What did he do that was so awful?!"

"As you must know, water on Tatooine isn't really all that plentiful. In fact, some people die from sheer dehydration combined with the heat produced from our dusty death planet's twin suns. Well, one day when I was going into town for my wonderful parents who just love me ever so much, I saw him sitting in a chair with a rather large glass of water."

"So? That's nothing. Lot's of people sit in chairs with glasses of water." Leia soon found herself on the receiving end of a very sharp glare.

"The thing about it is," explained Sarah, "that a woman nearby was dying in the street from severe lack of water. Bail Organa saw her, and most likely thought to himself that he was very lucky not to be her. Although, I wouldn't know. I don't generally make it a habbit to go searching people's minds for their petty thoughts. When the glass was half empty, Bail found himself unable to drink anymore simply because he was no longer thirsty. Instead of giving the dying woman the last of his water, he dumped it onto the ground. Hmmm, yes...I can see where the sand would require the water more than the woman." Leia was speechless.
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The very next day, Leia kept spouting off snobbish things and snapping commands at everyone present. Luke's patience was about to snap.

"I SWEAR if she keeps that up, I'll do something I just might regret!" Sarah agreed with Luke. Finally, Sarah couldn't take it anymore. She had even less patience than Luke--especially when it came to his unknown twin sister, Leia. The nineteen year-old teenager rested her chin in her hands and pictured the cooking pot full of bantha stew being dumped all over the (in her opinion) wicked witch of the sand. Luke and Sarah couldn't help but laugh when a large pot of hot bantha stew somehow found it's way upside down over Leia's head.

"Finally! I was afraid I'd have to Force choke her or something!" cried Luke.

"UGH! Somebody get this FILTH OFF OF ME! NOW!!!!" yelled the now dirty Leia. Sarah picked her way to the angry princess and did not even bother to try and hide her satisfied smile.

"Leia, Leia, Leia...if you want it off, you're going to have to do it yourself. Oh, and try not to get anything on the floor. I just cleaned it this morning. In fact, since the bantha stew is dripping, why don't you go ahead and clean that area again? Hm? And don't forget to polish!" Leia Organa fumed.
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Leia gleefully watched as Sarah walked towards her cleverly hidden trap. The girl was so busy reading a book about the political differences between Jedi and Sith that she wouldn't know what hit her. So Leia was quite surprised when Sarah simply stepped over the wire. In fact, she was so surprised that she walked in the same direction as Sarah just to see if the wire was still where she remembered placing it only to walk into her own trap. So enthralled by the book (and used to Leia's vocal excercises), Sarah never once noticed Leia's surprised yell.

Later, that same afternoon, Luke ran up to her.

"Sarah?"

"Hm?"

"Did you set any traps today for Leia?" Sarah looked up and blinked in thoughtful surprise.

"No, I didn't. Why?" Luke pointed over to wear Leia was dangling from a rope. "How did she get it so high?"

"I have no idea," answered the wonderful son of Vader. Sarah shook her head and clucked her tongue as she walked over to where Leia was.

"You fell into your own trap. I find that rather comical. I don't know how much you know about moisture farms, but they usually have extension cords and wires going across the sand that you usually want to watch out for and not accidentally unplug. Well, I suppose I should help you get down," she sighed. "But what to use..." Then she outstreched her hand and Luke Skywalker's lightsaber sailed right into it. Needless to say, Luke was rather impressed. "This'll work." And with that, she turned back to the captive.

"Um, Leia? You really might not want to be tense when you fall." Leia simply glared at her. "I'm serious! When you're tense, you feel pain in places you never even knew you had! If you're relaxed...the pain is much less!" Leia still glared. "FINE! DON'T BELIEVE ME! I only know what I'm talking about seeing as I'm thrown against walls and whipped a lot!" This grabbed the spoiled brat's attention. "Oh, well. Relaxed or not, I'm cutting you down!" Leia landed with a THWUMP!

"OoooOOOooOOoooOOooooo....." moaned Leia.
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"I can't wait to meet your father, Luke." Luke turned to her in surprise.

"But he's Darth Vader! An evil Sith lord!" he exclaimed. Sarah tilted her head.

"Does he have a lightsaber?"

"Yes."

"Does he dislike Leia?"

"...Yeah, actually, he does."

"Then I like him already!" Whatever Luke was about to say in response was cut off by the Rebellian's princess running out of the house in haste.

"Leia, what is it?" Luke asked worriedly.

"The house is filled with dust!" she panted. "I DEMAND that someone clean it immediately!" Sarah calmly walked up to the angry princess.

"You're the one complaining about it so...YOU do the cleaning. I mean, afterall, your lower body is toned but your upper body has practically no muscle whatsoever. This will be good excercise for you. Now, let's not keep the dust waiting! Have fun!" Leia sputtered indignantly and incoherently. After a while she finally calmed enough to say something everyone could understand.

"I know why you're doing this! You're jealous; admit it!" Sarah raised both eyebrows at this and Luke, being the more intellegent one of the [still unknown] twins, backed away.

"Jealous? Of what? Of you? You must be joking!" she spat.

"Well, there must be some reason you don't like me since everyone else simply adores me and all I can chalk it up to is jealousy." Sarah seemed to consider what Leia said. Seemed to, but didn't. Not really, anyway.

"No, I just don't like you," came the calm reply. "For some reason, you just grate on my nerves."

"Well, for some reason, you grate on my nerves!" yelled Princess Organa. "In fact, I REALLY don't know what Luke sees in you!"

"Really? Because I could say the exact same thing about you," Sarah said very sweetly.
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Luke was sitting in a chair reading "How to save your friend from Jabba the Hutt" when Sarah came rushing in. The young man simply blinked and went back to his book. Not long after, though, Leia stormed into the house.

"What is it this time?" he asked in a bored tone.

"That-that commoner dared to insinuate that my hairstyles are less than perfect!" Luke unsuccesfully smothered a laugh. "What? Don't tell me you AGREE with her!?!" Instead of answering, Luke bolted from his chair and ran outside where he promptly gave in to his mirth.

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Pointless? Maybe. Funny? Hopefully. I was practically dead when I came up with and wrote this. Hee hee hee...
Well, I hope you all liked it!
^_^

~Sarah~