05-10-02

Just had to quickly share an expereince from today - it has been quite a while since I have written. I am suspecting very few poeple check my updates anyway. So, out of a potentially really negative situation, I feel I am taking away a seed of something positive. Today in class one of my students freaked out on me. She is very shy, and is one of the students who frequent the nurse's and counciling rooms to tend to her wounded emotions. Today we were presenting the students Earth Day posters. She dispises getting up in front of class - with a passion. It happens that I had helped her on her poster - so we were going to present together. Here is where I went wrong - instead of working with her on her poster - I was making my rounds of the other groups and checking their posters. Could have spent a bit more time with her so she felt less insecure. Anyway - on this foundation - she was feeling really scared - and when I at the last minute went to help her wiht her presentation - she refused to get up, refused to hold the poster - sat there and cried bit juicy tears. If this were my classroom - I would have done one of the following - let her cry and proceed with the class, ask her to go to the nurses office where I would meet her later, or ask her to wait for me in the hall. It was not my class - I team teach classes - so I stood helplessly, whispering an occational encouraging word to her.

The point of this anecdote? At first I was feeling really sorry for myself for a number of reasons - one, I had been humiliated in class, two, had I not asked about the situation and other teacher's opnions on it, I would have never gotten any insight/feedback on the situation - I was merely part of the scenery - perhaps even an instigator of the days grief...No apology for anything - although perhaps it was me who should have apologized, but that might have been a bit too "Japanese." Anyway - after a few minutes of feeing a bit downtrodden, which is not an unusual state of mind recently, soemthing hit me in the face - a a teacher there are a number of things I should learn to impelment into my character - they are as follows...

1. Don't take things personally. The students are still growing, what they throw on the teachers is usually growing pains rather than malevoence.

2. Be forgiving. As teachers we have to be able to kind of Korean in nature. By this I mean, one should be able to scold a student at one time, and five minutes later give them a hug. A teacher should have the heart of a parent - ever forgiving, ever patient, ever giving, ever loving.

3. Have absolutes - Until now, I have been trying to be too "pc". I need to have an opinion, I need to criticize, I need express when things are right and things are wrong. This extends beyond my lessons, but also in daily life ativities, matters of the heart, matters of life. As a teacher - I should not tell the students every answer is right, but I should be telling them where the correct answers lie, and how to pursue them. Make them strive for excellence, not just so-so.

These are the things I thought I should get onto paper - or the web before I forgot. Days like this, although challenging are good - they make me grow.

Take care then.

Much love to everyone. Take care

This is hanako signing out..