02-01-02

I love the snow. Last night I went shopping for food. Coming back I saw the ebony sky quietly crying large lacy snowflakes. Quietly is the key word. Unlike of the hail that has bombarded Fukui for the past few weeks, this snow drifted down. It was like the snowdance from the nutcraker, the tutu's of the dancers floating up and down as they piruetted and jumped across the dark stage. I closed my eyes and felt at peace. The racing in my brain slowed to match the pace of the falling snow - I heard nothing, nothing but the snow falling. The cars skating by were mute, it was me, the snow and the occational star peaking out from behind a cloud and heaven... I need to learn to see these things better, lately I have been running from place to place, not looking, not seeing, not tasting everything that God places around me...nature must cry sometimes as I rush past it, ignoring it. I write this page as an offering to nature, to that which has cared for my soul so many times when it began to rot under the pressures of everyday life, for the times that it reminded me to savour each day.

This morning the drive to school was glorious. A thin film of clouds lined the sky, just enough to make the distant snow covered mountains hazy, but not enough to shut out the organge - pink rays of the sun that outlined the peaks and valleys of the mountains. Occationally a thin sliver in the clouds allwayed a stroke of sunlight to cascade down to earth, the trees that flanked the roads were decked in perfect snow...I had to smile and be thankful for the day, what a way to begin Feburary, supposidly the worst month in Fukui. I felt like a snow princess.

Yesterday I took a walk around my school. This particular school is located on a cliff overlooking the Sea of Japan, or Yellow Sea if you are Korean. I had fallen into a minor fit of depression the day before, I am not sure where I caught this bought - so to remedy it, I thought I would visit the sea. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, but the oncoming snow storm was stirring up the wind which made the water white capped. The waves crashed into the stone barriers near the beach before they slipped up onto the sand. The spray touched my face and seemed to say, "Always look towards the horizon, see how limitless the world, your world is? Look beyond the beach, follow the eternal waters to new paradigms..." It was a good way to end January and begin the second month of 2002, motto in hand, spirit in tact.

When I opened this page, I thought to write about how I feel like a constant outsider in Japan...but it turned out to be a celebration of the good things of this place. For this I am glad, and thankful. I never want to slip into a ditch of negativity - it puts people in a deep tunnel where they can see only themselve - soemtimes I like the tunnel too much.

Take care. Thanks again for everything.

Take care then.

Much love to everyone. Take care

This is hanako signing out..