02-07-02

One correction to my last entry - the Japan Sea is the Japan Sea - the Yellow Sea is to the west of Kore. I am writing this entry in light of many conversations I have had with numerous people about my present state of mind. What I have come to realize is that I need to remind myself of the goals that i set up in the begining of my stay in Japan. That way I know how far I am moving forward and how far I am moving backward. Also, it would give a foundation for God to work on, rather than have me meander aimlessly wasting time wondering why I suddenly became so depressed.

So I would, for my sake more thank anything else, restate my goals both for this year, and for my Japan stay.

"Live as thought heaven is on earth." Live the way of heaven. See the pieces of heaven. Multiply the pieces with others. Love with the capacity of heaven. Move with heaven in mind."

My objectives: 1. Learn the heart of Japan. To do this, I should be focusing on learning Japanese, learning Kendo - to experience it. Also to help attain mind and body unity. Also to taste the Japanese culture. History and literature - I need to expose myself to more of how Japan was created, what kind of mindset defined and moved it.

Getting to know my grandparents and extended family before they leave. I need to learn how to take care of and love the family outside of my nuclear family.

Develope my capacity to love - I need to cultivate the strength of my heart and character. This will manifest itself in a number of lifestyle methods. - Daily Dicipline,- Give and Take, to keep in touch with old and new relations. Nutrue them and nurture youself. Be agreesisve and assertive - begin to know what you want and pursue them with vigor.- Love openly - everyone who crosses your path should be loved well. Lately I have been focusing too much on quantity and not quality. I need to step back and assess the method of how I am cultivating my love - I feel like an orchestra that is screaming noise but not music.

Build a community of heart - Through understanding others, developing yourself - begin building a community of strong heat - School, Neighbors, JET...

And last but not least - Teach and discover the spectrum of human culture - I need to see the rest of the world, learn other vessles of heart. I need to learn to share myself , my life, and my community - to do that I need to be less attached to myself - more devoted to that around me.

Having said this - I would like to edit my motto for the year 2002 - I would like to have it the same as my motto for my stay in Japan. It is something that I can grasp better thatn "Mind and body unity." It will be "Live as thought heaven is on earth."

I can face today - I can face tomorrow - I can do this - with God as my guide - I can walk with my head on straight - with no fear in my heart.

Take care then.

Much love to everyone. Take care

This is hanako signing out..