11-13-01

Just a couple things briefly in this entry. First, to write what incited me to write this entry. I was/am sitting at the computer at my school in the staff room when a second grade student walks in. For a brief second I thought I was looking at my face. It was uncanny, almost creepy. I though I was walking into the staff room. I don't know what to make of such a perception. Either my brain is still on vacation, or it has some kind of meaning to it. I write this down on this page so I can remember later and chew over the incident. For now, I must hurry and finish up some unfinished work.

Second, I am writing to remind myself of my goal for November. Lately I have been going through not quite homesickness, but I do miss home from time to time. Especially in the busy day I live every day, busy I am not sure why, I feel that I need a place with someone or something to just sit and do nothing, perhaps talk story or something. TV goes only so far, and the telephone is a bit pricy. Anyway, on that note, I realize that I must be that someone for the people I pass by everyday, my fellow jets, my host family, friends etc...Tough goal, and perhaps I am trying to chew too much, so I will try to begin with baby steps. Focus more on other things like studying, reading and creating a better foundaiton for my heart and brain to work. It think that is what my problem has been lately, doing too much, thinking too little. I should make it a point to take some time to reflect - use the running time for that, rather than for training - as I don't think I will be running another race in a while - at least until the spring.

I feel like I am rambling. Lately my body has been pretty busy, in the meantime - my brain has gone into cruise control. Not a good sign. My body needs my brain - but brain wants to take a vacatin. I have to learn to dicipline my brain with my spirit.

So, that is all for now. I hope all is well. The crash in NY the otherday almost made me cry today. I am not sure what to make of the mess we are making of our world. Furthermore what and how can I do to enable change for a better world? Prayer is one thing, action is another - I think as of now my issue is confidence and courage. So I must find some of that somewhere. If anyone knows where I can purchase some for a reasonable price, please write me and let me know.

Take care then.

Much love to everyone. Take care

This is hanako signing out..