Select PG-13 Brandeis Quotes:
The Ziv Chronicles - Part 1 continued
We're so funny/delerious that we couldn't fit all the first semester quotes onto one page... so the saga continues here

11/1/00
Deb: What will get me to shut up?

11/2/00
Deb: Han, you have a little butt.
Han: At least it's not a big butt.

11/2/00
A suitemember: Do you remember freshman year when [a certain ex-boyfriend] dumped me and I stabbed the peach?!

11/4/00
Kevin (pre-VoiceMale show): My grandma asked if they were going to sing the "Who Let the Dogs Out" song.

11/4/00
Kevin: This summer, my mom gave me a haircut in our basement.� It was cool because it was free.
Deb: Did you tip her?
Kevin: No, but I gave her a hug.

11/5/00
Han: Post-Screw [Your Roommate Semiformal] last year, I was sitting on [his] lap and he shifted his weight and I went flying.� I was projectile Han!

11/4/00
Deb: Corn has good head...Oh wait, corn has ears.� It's lettuce that has good head.

11/4/00
Deb: Hey Karina, would you like to rent Han?
Karina: Sure!
Deb: She's free!
Han: I am NOT free!� I am NOT easy!

11/5/00
Han (comforting Leah about nasty bugs in Costa Rica): You're bigger than them!� They look up at you and they're like, "Ahhhhh!!"

11/5/00
Deb's note-to-self on her message board: Steal Knives.

11/6/00
Leah: Ew!� I have cheese down my neck!

11/9/00
Karina: Han, you look like a little piece of cabbage.

11/12/00
Han (in the bathroom): I have to pee!
Lex: Well, you're in the right place.

11/19/00
Han: Hey Lexie, I have a topic for my paper...a week after it's due!

11/26/00
Leah: You need air freshner attached to your a--!

11/27/00
Deb (with only a week left in the semester): Wanna hear the dorky think I did today?� I walked into a class that wasn't mine.

11/28/00
Han (talking about a drunk girl): She was in love with this chair.� The chair's name was Patrick.� Patrick was bisexual.

11/28/00
Han (singing): Just got hit on in the real world!� Just got hit on in the real world!

12/2/00
Deb: What's that on your overalls?
Leah:�It's decoration, or it can also be an overall tumor.

12/3/00
Lex (dancing on her bed instead of writing her paper): My bed is too wiggly.

12/3/00
Lex (at 2:36AM): Mmmmm...vanilla whey protein milk.� Mmmmm!!� It tastes like health!

12/8/00
Laura's away message: I know karate, kung-fu, and 47 other dangerous sounding words.

12/8/00
Lex: This is the first time I've voted without wearing pants.

12/8/00
Lex: Deb, you wrote that.� It's your ghetto "d."� Draw a "d."
Deb: (draws a "d")
Lex: That's not a "d."� That's a sperm!

12/10/00
Leah (explaining to Deb, Han, Lex & Heatha why she totally cracked up): Sorry, it was an inside joke with myself.


On to second semester: The Ziv Chronicles - Part II
Back to our homepage: The Beginning
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