I hopped a flight and fell down the rabbit hole.. the fall lasted roughly eight hours. When I landed I rubbed my eyes from the torture of "Beethoven's 3rd" (die pooch) and the coolness of "Frequency" just to go down to baggage clam and get laid by a Yankee, a Brit, and a Swede.. sorry, I meant 'leied'. The hours progressed and this trio of pseudo of Europeans proceeded to get me 'Harwooded' for my birthday.. (aka stinkin drunk). By the time I apparently went to bed, it was 8am Central Daylight Time and I'd been up since, well, 3am *29 hours* earlier. This was the greeting I was given by the boys, and the great state of Hawaii. Most of you know that the forward progression on the timeline I refer to as my life was taking be back to the island of Oahu. I've actually had a good time here.. making full use of the cab services from downtown Honolulu to Waikiki, doing the Kareoke thing. By the way, when showing a friend how easy it is to start talking to a strange woman.. make sure she speaks English. (Details available upon request)
Useless Trivia #1: The Hawaiian alphabet consists of only 13 letters, and all the words end in a vowel.
My acclimation to the tropics was much easier this time since I was staying in the same hotel as I did last year. These people remembered me!! Then again they'd better after I spent over 5,000 clams here, and was about to spend another 5 Grand. "Thank you, Mr Croucher" No no no.. thank you Johnny Chance & Friends! It's strange after not being somewhere for a YEAR and having it not change at all. The transvestites still hang out on Queens Street. J/K, Queens is the next block over. That guys still walks around at the bus waiting area outside of the hotel screaming about how we're all going to hell. Like I didn't already know. I figured it was about time I told him where to stick his holy pamphlet and I'd see him when he got there. I think these people have been on this island a *little* too long.
Useless Trivia #2: Oahu has 3 (that's THREE) inter-STATE highways. Nothin' like a Hawaiian family road trip to California to GET RID of the family.
Unfortunately, I haven't seen my buddy that used to sweep the grass outside of the Corps office. Jim and I hiked up to the top of a local waterfall that I visited a number of times last year. Actually, climbed. As in: straight UP. As in: oopse, I slipped.. oh, so that's the noise bones make when they shatter (my hip..). I think the view was as classic as the look we got after walking back in the office, caked in mud and sweat. Don't worry, Jim took pictures of my wet and muddy ass for anyone who wants to see.
Beyond what you all may think.. yes, I work. Anywhere from 8 to 15 hours a day, every day. I reiterate.. what's a weekend? Every day at Shoals is a MONDAY. But now it's a Monday in Hawaii. In about a month it will be a Monday in Guam. Either that or the radioactive atoll somewhere near the equator that the U.S. used to test nukes on.. by the way, which now they use to dispose of deadly nerve agents and other lovelies. Hey, as long as it ain't Andros, Bahamas. I'll bring a little something back for everyone.
Useless Trivia #3: Molokai, Hawaii, holds the only LEPER colony in the United States. (Did anyone see that Simpson�s episode??) I'll bring something little back from everyone. (eeewww)
Anyway, those slavedrivers haven't let me go up in the plane. Then again, everyone that's been up this trip has released the hounds at least once.. I don't want to ruin my record of being one of 3 people that hasn't tossed their cookies in the Twin Otter.
It appears that I'll be returning to Lafayette next Tuesday. No, really. We've got a schedule and we're sticking to it. Yes the job is fun, but with all the poop flying around at the supervisory level it's hard to avoid the splatter when it hits the fan. (what a lovely image)
Useless Trivia #4: Poi. It's purple. Nobody really knows what it is. But it tastes good with a little salt.
I hope you all are well. I'm sorry I've been out of touch, but it doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you every now and then. Take care.
Aloha,
Jeff, Heffe, Jivvy, and sometimes Wallace
Ha! It's not totally MASS.. personal quips for each of you!
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Rob.. did you get the card? I hope Boo is feeling better. He sent me an email saying something about an anal probe. What'd you think of Buff? I think I got The STUFF! (Very Good!)
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Lisa.. I'm a flake. I haven't gotten your postcard yet.. you mind if I send you one from beautiful Lafayette? Glad to hear about your STUD. Would you mind babysitting Wallace for me?
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Missy.. I forgot to ask.. how's Big Holi's? And who's this PAUL guy anyway?? Give 'em hell at Chrysler. And you've never been a bad friend.
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Mosh.. been a long time! I heard "Look What Happened" on the net. Rog is sounding better each album! how's the wife and kids?? And Happy BELATED B-day, you crazy 24-year-old!
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CHIN.. HEARD ANY GOOD NEWS LATELY?? WERE DO YOU GET THOSE PICTURES, MAN?? DID i MENTION THAT BUFFETT WILL BE HERE ON OCT.9TH? NO BUFFETT, BEER, AND DIT-DAT-DAAH! FOR ME THIS TIME.
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Erin.. soon, baby, soon. I love you!
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Big Daddy.. what's up with you man? Are you still lifting imaginary weights? Tell Joseph to get a damn email address, and that I said HI.
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Stacy.. Rumor: LTJ starts touring in the US in November!! I'm still not sure what's going on for Mardi Gras. I think I might be in Puerto Rico, bra. Any good shows lately? How 'bout that *Jeans* commercial you were striving for? ;)
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Toni.. last but never least.. It was so great to see you in PA. I was just thinking about the '98Renn fest today.. bummer we won't get back anytime soon. We'll make up for it in Australia.