Jim

MTV Splatters Teens with Pooh
          By: Jim Thecrazybuttrouenewsguy

No, I am not talking about a yellow teddy bear that hangs out with Tigger and Piglet. Here is the original story.....

SANTA MONICA (AP) -- MTV apologized Thursday to two 14-year-old girls who said they were splattered with feces when an act defecated on stage during a taping of the music channel's "Dude, This Sucks" show.
   "This is a terrible incident. It was unintended and we regret that it happened," Brian Graden, the cable channel's president for programming, said in a statement. He added that the episode would never be aired and that he had taken steps to see that such an event never happens again. "We are sorry if these women were hurt. It is certainly never our intention to hurt anyone," he said. Graden said the network had just learned that the girls are suing MTV, adding that the company "will respond accordingly through the legal process."
     The teen-agers said they were standing next to a stage on Jan. 21 at the Snow Summit Ski Resort in the San Bernardino Mountains east of Los Angeles, watching a two-man act called Shower Rangers during videotaping of a "Snowed In" segment of the MTV show.

     "Without warning or explanation the two Shower Rangers turned their backsides to the audience, both opened a flap on the back of their shorts, exposing their naked buttocks," the girls' attorney Gloria Allred said.
"Before they could say or do anything, the Shower Ranger whose buttocks faced them bent over, spread the cheeks of his buttocks and emitted a spray of fecal matter," the lawyer said.
     Monique Garcia and Kelli Sloat of Big Bear Lake are seeking unspecified general, compensatory and punitive damages, claiming intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligence and battery.
"All of a sudden I was smelling something disgusting and I started to gag. I looked around at my friends. They were covered in something. As I looked down at myself, I realized I was, too," Garcia said during a news conference at Allred's office.
     "We believe that subjecting children without their knowledge and consent and without notice to their parents to such an outrageous and indecent act is completely unacceptable and intolerable," Allred said.
The teen-agers "want to send a message that this type of act goes far beyond the bounds of decency and that neither MTV nor any television network should ever allow any similar disgusting incident to take place in the future," Allred said.

What surprised me about this article is that MTV has another Jack Ass/Tom Green like show.   Jack Ass and shows like it are great because you get to watch dumb asses who will do anything to get their own TV show, but how much farther can we push the envelope on bodily fluid humor!? Don't get me wrong I think shows like Jack Ass are funny to watch, but that's just it, I just want to watch. It's cool with me if you want to run around and poop on each other, who am I to judge. But I'm telling you right now, you better not point your ass at me. Not only will I sue, you will need the jaws of life to pull my boot out of your ass. Damn that would make a good show.......hold on I'm calling MTV.

The Brits Invent Weather Toast
               By, Jim Thecrazybuttruenewsguy

This invention is sure to change the world. Here is the original story......

By :BBC News Online technology correspondent Mark Ward

Soon you could be getting weather forecasts and text messages on your toast.
      A design student at Brunel University, UK, has developed a toaster that takes a meteorological information from the internet and then browns your bread with an image of what weather to expect on the way to work.
      The image is burned on to the bread by using one of three stencils, representing sunny, cloudy or rainy conditions.
      Eventually, the stencils could be changed for a more sophisticated imaging system that might be able to burn weather maps, short text messages and even adverts on to bread.
                              Smart bread
      Robin Southgate, who is studying industrial design, has developed the forecasting toaster for his final-year project that has to take a complete device from concept to finished product.
      He decided on the toaster to make his work stand out from the worthy and helpful devices many of his fellow students were creating. "I couldn't compete, so I went for fun and cool," he said. Mr Southgate's ambition is to follow in the footsteps of influential British designers such as Jonathan Ive, the man behind Apple's sleek iMac computer.      Inspiration for the toaster also came from the MIT Tangible Media project which tries to turn everyday objects into carriers of information.
      The current prototype creates one of three images familiar from TV weather maps on the bread using stencils that mask part of the slice while the rest continues to be toasted. The images are made of heat-resistant plastic and stay rolled up round an axle until needed.
                         Toasting success
      Having got the toaster working Mr Southgate is now looking at ways of making it more versatile. He is experimenting with an array of heating elements that create a display 11 dots square.
      This could be used to draw weather maps, adverts or even write SMS messages from phones on to bread.
       Mr Southgate has been working on the forecasting toaster since August last year and has to have his project completed by 11 May. The finished device will go on show at Brunel on 11 June.

Is there really a market for a gadget like this? Would you buy it? I know I wouldn't I don't even like toast, and I sure as hell don't want to have to run a phone line to my toaster. You know Ron Poppiel is going to snatch this thing up for his next infomercial. I can see it now "...not only does it make great toast, it has a built in 56k modem, you can get weather, stock quotes, sports scores and email right on your toast!" The only way I would even consider buying this toaster is if I could get porn etched into my toast....now that is a marketable idea.