Was it hard to apply? Not in my opinion. Some people I know feel overwhelmed by the amount of paperwork, but our social worker had a lot less paperwork for us to fill out than some others have described, so that may have made the difference for us. When I ran into roadblocks, I was reminded that it was all in God's hands and that I needed to persevere and pray for obstacles to be overcome. The process went very smoothly for us.
How much does it cost? This varies depending on the cost of your homestudy, the agency you use, and the time of year you travel. Our adoption (including sightseeing in Beijing and shopping in China as well as all other travel, homestudy, agency fees, and Chinese adoption fees) cost around $15,500.
Why does it take so long? Right now (June 2001) it takes about 11-12 months from the time you send your paperwork to China until you get a referral. Travel is currently 4-6 weeks later. Obviously, this is a much longer time than we waited just 2 years ago. The reason is, MANY more people are applying to adopt from China, while the CCAA (Chinese government agency that handles adoptions) has not been able to significantly increase their staff.
Why do you have to travel to China to complete the adoption? When you adopt from China, you complete a Chinese adoption under Chinese law, which the U.S. recognizes as valid when you return. Your adoption is FINAL (yay!) in China! From my point of view, this trip also gives you the chance to learn about your child's birth culture first hand, as well as get to know your child before returning home to your family, friends, and other responsiblities.
How long did it take for your baby to bond to you? This is a difficult question to answer, as bonding/attatching to a new parent is a process. Each child is different (both in their personality and their experiences), so our experience may not be the same as another adoptive family's.However, our experience is fairly typical. Cathryn had been given love and affection in her orphanage, and obviously trusted adults, so we saw signs that she was beginning to understand we were "her's" within a few days. She began to prefer us to other adults in our travel group and to cry when one of us left the room by the end of the first week. She was affectionate from the beginning, allowing us to hug and kiss her, and snuggling up to us, playing with us, and even kissing us in those first few days. By the time we returned from China, I felt that we were fully "bonded." However, as months passed, we saw changes that indicated she was still in the process of becoming more comfortable with us, and in the process of learning what it meant to have parents. After the first month, she began to cuddle very close while drinking a bottle, while previously, she had simply laid on her back in my arms. She began to display a wider range of emotion with us (not just "happy baby" or "exhausted baby.") She finally began to let us know when she was hungry by crying or saying "UMMM!" after 2 months with us, and she had what seemed to be nightmares (or maybe she woke up and didn't know where she was) for the first 4 months with us. We feel that one of the greatest joys of adopting Cathryn was to watch her blossom before our eyes, as she learned to trust us and understand what it meant to be our daughter.
|
