Laugh and the class laughs with you.
But you get detention alone !!                             

Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon

Student: The brain is a wonder full thing
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!

Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!

TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil   : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil   : Yes, on top !

TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil   : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !

TEACHER : What shape is the world in?
Pupil   : Rotten !

TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.
Pupil   : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !

TEACHER :What's you name ?
Class   : Ravi
TEACHER  : You should say "Sir"
Pupil   : OK, Sir Ravi !

TEACHER  : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil   : Life imprisonment !

TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Pupil   : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !

TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Pupil   : Australia, you can see the Moon at night !

TEACHER : Ravi, can you find me Australia on the map please ?
Pupil   :There it is
TEACHER : Now, Ravi, who discovered Australia ?
Pupil   : I did !

Pupil   : I wished we lived in the olden days
TEACHER : Why is that ?

TEACHER :What kind of birds do you find in captivity?
Pupil   : Jailbirds !

TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil   :Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Pupil   : Twins !

TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil   : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !

TEACHER :: I despair, Ravi, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day ?
Pupil   : Because I always get here early sir !

TEACHER : What do we do with crude oil ?
   Pupil   : Teach it some manners !

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?
He had a bee in his suit of armour !

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!

If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!

Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!

Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!