* HEATSTROKE * 8/26/06
08/26/06
1) Ulyssess Fullerton won a 40-Man Battle Royal
#1 contender to the Hungarian Title, Terry Menard, gave up his title shot this weekend, stating that he would take it at another time. He said that with the all the legends who are returning to the ring today, they should get their time to shine, as they are getting older now, and can't wrestle forever...
2) "Widowmaker" Mike Todd defeated "Millionaire" Matt Welz for a #1 contendership.
3) An eight-man tournament was held to determine the new Globally Recognized Champion. Here's how it all went down...
Round One:
- Matt Welz defeated Terry Menard @ 3:32 with a top-rope elbow smash. The Millionaire said "That should shut your fool mouth! The silver in my beard comes from exeperience, and from the large silver mine which is in my backyard!"
- "Saucebox" Michael P lost to Ulyssess Fullerton @ 5:41
- Hunter Vargas defeated Toddbot 2020 @ 6:13
- Michael Three Cheeses defeated "Iron Baron" Gustaf Von Klaus @ 3:46
Round Two:
- Hunter Vargas pinned The Millionaire @ 2:40
- Michael Three Cheeses defeated Ulysses Fullerton with a "Grandchild Killer", an elbow to the nuts from the top rope.
The Finals:
- Hunter Vargas vs. Michael Three Cheeses
It was an amazing back and forth match. Never were two men so evenly matched in terms of athletic ability... but in the end, Hunter Vargas' desire must have won out, as he rolled up Three Cheeses for the pin @ 6:16 to regain the Globally Recognized Championship.
* it should be noted at this point, that prior to this tournament, "Millionaire" Matt Welz put his Bachelor Party Putt Putt Championship up for grabs to the winner of the tournament! As a result, Hunter Vargas has unified these two prestigious titles!
4) Undisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Champion of the World Monte Altazzar defended his title against "Widowmaker" Mike Todd...
It was a match of the year candidate. Neither man dominated, but Monte got the upper hand and just as he was about to score the pinfall, Jon Derby ran into the ring and broke up the pin! Patty Underwear ran to the ring to even the odds and keep Derby out of the rest of the match. In the end, the power of the Man who makes Widows overcame Monte and Mike Todd walked out as the new Hungarian Champ!
... after the match, Patty Underwear was seen leaving the arena and getting into a rental car with "Kentucky" Jon Derby. She could not escape our intrepid news crew, however, and when asked what was going on, she replied "What can I say? I was impressed by his size."
