Oh, to be a Fisherman off the Shore of Main

 

 

I was looking through a fish's eye

Wondering what to do

When I came across a black hole

Floating in my stew.

 

I squished it flat with my foot

And made it two dimensional

Then showed it to the Surgeon General

Whose health was quite quest'nable.

 

He took it from me and said,

"I shall investigate,"

And shoved on by with arrogance

That made my watch irate.

 

She howled for an hour

Making the cosmos scream.

I had no choice but to sit up

And dip her in ice cream.

 

That cooled her off but broke her heart,

And now she does not work,

But her spirit keeps on ticking,

And in the corner lurks.

 

That evening when home I went,

I came across a frog.

With weeping eyes, I took it home

And fed it to my dog.

 

My dog got indigestion

And died the next day.

I buried him in the back yard

Six feet out of the way.

 

I have been stripped of companionship.

I have now been left alone.

I can't even order out for pizza

'Cause I don't have a telephone.

 

And I don't have a radio,

So I can't hear what things are new.

I guess I'll just have to sit here

And finish off my stew.