BLONDES
Swerved
A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."
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A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.
Blonde: I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.
Psychiatrist: Don't you have a car phone?
B: That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.
P: Uh ... How's that working?
B. Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet.
P. And why do you think that is?
B. I figure its because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing.
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Blonde Behind the Wheel
A policeman sees a car weaving all over the road and hits his flashing lights. He walks up to the driver's window and sees a good looking blonde behind the wheel. There is a strong smell of liquor on her breath.
He says, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."
She blows up the balloon and he walks it back to his patrol unit. After a couple of minutes, he returns to her car and says, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."
She replies, "You mean it shows that, too?"
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Common Sense
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"\
The girl quickly responded, "The living one."
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Transferred
As a result of an internal investigation, one of the Duty Officer's stunning, blonde staffers was transferred from Aberdeen Maryland to an obscure base in Utah. The woman reported to her new Commanding Officer and handed him her orders
. He glanced at them and said, "Well Private, your \par duties here will be pretty much the same as your last assignment."
The girl sighed and said, "Yes Sir. I kinda figured that. Will it be OK if I drape my uniform over this chair?"
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Tourist
A blonde, a red head and a brunette sign up with a tourist group and chartered a double-decker bus to go to London. There are only 2 seats left on the bottom of the bus and only 1 seat in the top of the bus available when they board.
They decided to take turns riding in the top and flipped a coin to see who got the first turn. The blonde won the toss.
A couple of hours later it's the red heads turn so she walks up the stairs, and sees the blonde sitting there scared half to death. She's clutching the seat in front of her so hard that her knuckles are white.
"What's goin' on?" the red head asks. "We're havin' a grand old time down below."
The blonde replies, "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
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Another Interview
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead apply for a position at a large company. First the brunette goes in. The guy looks over her application and asks her one question: "How many D's are there in 'Bonanza'?"
The brunette replies, "None." The guy says, "OK, you may go into the next room for the next stage of the interviewing process."
The redhead goes in next. The guy asks her the same question: "How many D's are in 'Bonanza'?" She replies, "None." The guy says, "OK, you may go into the next room."
The Blonde goes in and he asks the same question: "How many D's are in 'Bonanza'?" After counting on her fingers for a few minutes the blonde replies: "77."
The guy in shock asks her how she came up with 77?
She sings: "Dun da da dun dun da dun dun da da" ...
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