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| Misc Jokes... |
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| What's the difference between a vulture and the mother-in-law? A vulture wait's until you're dead. |
| What's blue and fuck's grannies? Hypothermia. |
| "There are three different stages in marriage" said Dad to his son on the boy's wedding day. "When you're newlywed's, you have sex whenever and wherever you want it- the kitchen, the park, the pub all over the place. Then comes stage two, after you've been married for sometime, sex is usually confined to the bedroom. And then comes stage three, many, many years on in marriage, the most sex you get is when you pass each other on the stair's and say "fuck off". |
| Instead of sending two drug dealer's to prison, the judge decided to give them both 200 hour's community service, on condition they try to help other drug addicts kick the habit. The drug dealer's carried out their community service and returned to see the judge to tell him how many people they'd got off drug's. The first dealer stood in front of the judge and said "I managed to get 50 people off drug's your honour" "Well done and how did you manage that"? "I drew two circle's, one small and one large, and told them their brain was the size of the large circle before taking drug's, and the small circle is what it would look like after taking drug's" The second dealer stood up in front of the judge and said "your honour I managed to get 200 people off drug's" "That is amazing, how did you manage that?" "Well your honour, I drew two circle's one large and one small, I then showed them the small circle and told them that is what their arsehole looked like before going into prison." |
| What's eating pussy and the mafia got in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit. |
| Why do women have two holes? So when they get drunk you can carry them home like a six pack. |
| Why do fart's smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too.. |
| Two queer's are getting it together down a back alley, when a policeman on patrol catches them in the act, one queer run's one way the other run's the other way. "Oi, come here" say's the officer grabbing one of the men by the scruff of his neck, "You tell your mate when I catch up with him I'm going to shove this truncheon right up his arse" his mate shout's "coowee I'm in the bin". |
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| More Jokes coming soon... |
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