Traces of Absence: Ch 9 - A Breath Away
Disclaimer: I don't own GW or anything that has to do with it. Please don't sue me!!!
A.N. - Okay, this is the third-last chapter. I really want to drag this out. Thanks to LilDreamer who was willing to help me! Anyways, this chapter will be mostly in POV and it will most DEFINITELY be weird, and yes I know that sometimes POV fics can suck, but this is only one chapter. Wait till you read the finale. I know that over half of you will wanna kill me, but eh, what can I say...Oh, and if you catch part of this, ch9 isn't fully POV, but that can pretty much be apparent as you read on.
Italics: POV Bold Italics: song Bold: indicates start of POV
Duo's POV:
I walked down my apartment steps, noting that the elevator wasn't working. I, like an idiot stood there for two minutes waiting for my 'ding' but it never came, so I had to drag these boxes down the damn five flights of stairs.
The sun was shining but I didn't care. It was still December and freakin cold. Squinting as the cold wind whipped past my face, I set the boxes down and took out my cars keys. I'd never see this hell hole ever again.
Who can say for certain,
maybe you're still here.
I feel your arms around me,
your memories so clear.
At the hospital ::: Relena's POV:
Sally nudged me. I suppose I wasn't really paying much attention to anything. It hurt so much that he still thinks I'm some lying tramp. It was a terrible mistake...
Deep in the stillness,
I can hear you speak,
you're still an inspiration.
"Relena, go home and get some rest. You look like you're just about to fall over," Sally chided.
I looked at her and smiled solemnly.
"Yeah, just about, but if I go, what will happen? Every time I leave, something happens. I have to be here just in case," I explained.
She understood. She knew that I loved Heero so much. She and Wufei were extremely different from each other, and their love went on behind closed doors, but I was sure that she sympathized with me.
can it be,
that you are mine?
Patting my hand, Sally left me sitting there, a wistful look on my face. I missed being held by Heero, I longed for his touch. I can only remember last night when he clutched my hand and squeezed back. It sent all the feelings and love I had for him right to the surface. Turning my head, I looked out of the far hospital windows. Snow had begun to fall. It was still bright outside, yet it snowed. I felt the chill in my bones, even though we were in a heated hospital. I thought it was kind of ironic how it would snow on a day of happiness for some of us. It only made the day brighter, but made mine colder and darker than ever.
Forever love,
and you are watching over me
from up above.
Heero's POV:
Dammit, everything is so messed up now. It's snowing.
I tore my eyes from the window. Looking down at the sheets, my bangs slid forwards, masking my eyes and nose. Clenching my eyelids together, I screamed silently.
Fly, me up to where you are
beyond the distant star.
'This is not like me, I don't over-react to anything. This is not me, I don't cry. This is not me, I do not get jealous. This is not me, I am not insane.'
I wish upon tonight to see you smile,
if only for a while
to know you're there.
Breathing heavily, he felt his head move as if it were independent from his body. He felt his eyes stare up at the ceiling, and he saw the room change. White. It was white everywhere. He felt himself falling.
A breath away is not far to where you are.
"Can anyone hear me?!" Heero yelled.
I can't be sleeping,
here inside my dream.
The only response was his voice's echo.
Shutting his eyes from the oncoming blinding bright light, he felt his whole body stop. He was frozen in one position. Voices flooded the place around him and Heero clapped his palms over his ears and then he couldn't move anymore. One distinct voice rose from the thousands.
And isn't faith believing
all power can't be seen?
"Heero!"
It was Relena.
"Heero!"
The voice kept repeating, but his body was still suspended somewhere in his fall.
Becoming softer, the voice said something different.
"I love you Heero. If only you could..." it faded.
As my heart holds you,
just one beat away.
Frantic to get somewhere, I tried to move out of these invisible bonds but I just couldn't. Eyes wide with frustration, I yelled.
"If I only could what?!? Relena, please, tell me."
Then there was silence.
Heero shut his eyes tighter as he felt himself start to fall once more. He was nearing ground but he didn't know it. Finally he hit the bottom. He lay there, still intact, but asleep.
I cherish all you gave me
everyday.
A nurse walked into the room. She checked his vitals and recorded them before leaving the room once more.
Relena called after her.
"Nurse! How is he?" her voice wavering.
She turned around to answer.
'Cause you are mine,
forever love.
Watching me,
from up above.
"He's sleeping. He'll be fine,"[1]
She felt her heartbeat calm. Relena sat back down and looked at the clock on the wall. It was about three in the afternoon. When had morning passed so quickly?
Duo's POV:
It was damn cold. I turned the heat up and I knew that I was nearing the spaceport. I wanted to leave this place. Never return. I wanted to go back to Maxwell church (I hope it's still there) and help run the place. I needed to keep busy. To get away from her.
A red light, automatically, I felt my foot press on the brake. It was as though I wasn't really here. Like I was a machine.
Green light, go. Turning the bend, I could see the spaceport. Something inside me leapt. Like it was my heart trying to escape from my chest. I wouldn't blame the poor guy. If I were him, I'd hammer outta me in an instant.
This was it. I had no last words. Wait... I can't just leave like this. I need to, I don't even know anymore...
Relena's POV:
The snow drifted lazily outside. I looked up at the clock once more. Five. How did time move so quickly when I just sit here doing nothing?
And I believe,
that angels breathe,
and that love will evolve and never leave.
I wanted to see him. I think I can. Nobody has stopped me from it before, and he's asleep. I think I will.
Fly, me up to where you are
beyond the distant star.
Relena pulled herself up from the chair and rubbed her eyes. Walking over to the door, she turned to the nurse's station to see a head nod her access. Smiling gratefully, she went in. He lay there, sleeping, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. She wanted to bang on his chest and tell him to understand her, but that made no sense.
I wish upon tonight to see you smile,
if only for a while
to know you're there.
I wish he could hold me. I miss his strong arms. They made me feel safe and protected. Now, more than ever, I feel uncovered, open and vulnerable. Like the slightest touch could shatter me into thousands of pieces. It doesn't matter now though, all of our lives were messed up.
A breath away is not far to where you are.
To think, I was partly to blame for this. I never dreamed that I would be responsible for destroying three lives, mine included. I was supposed to help people. Not ruin them.
She felt so much remorse and hatred for her actions. Staring out the window, the big flakes of snow were scarcely floating. It was much less now. She hugged herself, feeling an invisible chill creep its way around her. She was much thinner now, lack of food from four, maybe five days of hardly any sleep and her inability to stomach anything at a time like this. The hollows of her eyes were much more prominent, and yet she still would not sleep. Relena didn't even know how long she had been waiting. She had given up count after 3 months. The rest all came in a blur. The months following, and now.
Heero stirred. He heard breathing apart from his own, and he too felt the eerie chill. Wrapping the sheet tighter around his body, he allowed one eye to open slightly. He saw Relena standing at his window, eyes shut. She wasn't asleep, he knew that.
Shifting in the hospital bed, he sat up and turned to face her.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
His voice reached her.
I know you're there,
Eyes fluttering open, she looked at him apologetically.
"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. I just wanted to see how you were," she replied, voice trembling.
His heart nearly broke. She was afraid of him.
"I'm fine. Is it me, or is it cold in here? Did you open the window?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"I-I should leave you alone," she said softly before walking past his bed. He caught her arm.
"Why are you afraid of me?" he asked, eyes softening.
"I'm not," she said.
His grip tightened slightly.
"Liar," he joked, voice sounding serious.
"I am not. Let go of me please. I don't think I should be in here," she said, voice wavering once more.
"You are scared, and I will not. Sit, talk. There's something wrong," he spoke, slightly amazed that he would actually say something like that.
"There's nothing wrong. I should go, I think I'm irritating you," she said, tears beginning to form in her eyes. She was afraid.
He saw the flash of fear in her eyes. He wiped her eye with his free hand.
"Since when did you become afraid of me?" he asked.
"I, I'm not afraid of you," she insisted.
"Then why are your hands suddenly so cold. I know they only go cold when you're nervous or scared," he said.
"Stop it. If you want to talk, just ask," she said, voice tight.
"Please talk to me," he said, unsure if his mind was thinking it, or the words actually came out of his mouth.
She sat.
"About what?"
"About where we go from here," he said softly, before releasing his grip on her arm.
a breath away is not far to where you are...
[1] - Yeah, Heero was dreaming. I wanted to try something different. Was it weird? YEAH! Haha, but different.
A.N. - Oh man... that was interesting wasn't it? Hell, I just wanted to try something new. Anyhow, there will be T W O more chapters before the end. So, hang in there. Ten will be out... eh... when I get around to it. I will, just as long as you guys keep reviewing. Hey, come on people, let's try hitting... FIFTY or even more reviews before ch10!!! If not, well then, we'll see... :p
** Song: "To Where You Are" - Josh Groban** [the kid who played Malcolm on Ally McBeal]