Ch 4 - Is This The End?
Disclaimer: I, in no way, own anything that has to do with Gundam Wing. I merely own this fic and about $35 bucks. Please don't sue me!
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Heero paced around his own room. Relena had been gone once more, and she's proven all the work placed upon her, but he couldn't shake the fact that she was hiding something. It wasn't like her to be so ignorant of her work. Relena by far, was the most trustworthy person, she was always prompt and never missed deadlines. By the look on her face and the work laid out before her, Heero's ideas of her were all thrown out the window. Looking at his clock, numbers glowed 3AM. Again she'd proven to him that there was something wrong, something he shouldn't have neglected to learn about. Shrugging the fact off, he decided to sleep. She was a grown woman, she could do whatever and whomever she wanted. He was just there in her life.
Relena sighed after seeing Duo leave. She felt so many things as of late. Her feelings for Duo had heightened in the past few days, and then there was the ever suspecting Heero. She knew that Heero sensed something wrong, but he was probably ignoring the fact that it was going on around him. Stretching, she began to gather her things and head home. She couldn't neglect Heero now, not after she and Duo ended their affair. She rubbed her temples and took one look at her office before calling a cab to take her home. There was no way she'd call Pagan at such an ungodly hour to pick her up.
Heero tossed in his sleep. Why was he reacting so oddly to this situation? First, his girlfriend was doing something behind his back, and second, she keeps denying the fact that anything is wrong, when it was so blatantly clear that there was something going on. He looked out his bay windows and stared at the shining stars. Once upon a time he and Relena would stay up late at night and stargaze, making wishes and promises to each other. He missed that. She was so distant now, the look in her eyes more shadowed than clear. He used to be able to look in those eyes of hers and know if she was alright. Now, it seemed as though he could see nothing past the vacant look plastered upon her delicate features. He would have cried, but this problem wasn't his. He was part of it, but he had not led her to make decisions like that. Flipping onto his back, he folded his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. This had to end. He'd find out what was going on tomorrow morning, no matter what. And this time, he wouldn't allow her to make excuses blaming her absences on work. She must have been doing something to neglect so much work like that.
Relena yawned as the cab neared the mansion. She was soon out and walking towards the front door. Slipping her keys into the many locks, she entered the cold mansion, knowing everyone would be asleep. She walked up the winding stairs and headed towards her room. She needed a hot shower and a good rest. Dropping her briefcase on the floor of her bedroom, she tried to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of her head that something was going to happen tomorrow. Something monumental. She stripped quickly and hopped into the shower. Letting the water run, she stood under the shower head and let her aching body drench. For the first time, she let tears run down her cheeks, more from her loss of Duo and now what she had to face. Heero knew what was going on, there was no denying that. If he confronted her, she'd tell him the truth. Because lying would get her nowhere.
::: The next morning :::
Heero woke up early. He had a Preventer's meeting this morning. Yawning, he pulled his body out of bed and headed to the shower. He let the hot water run over his well-defined body, while he shampooed his hair. Soon finished, he got out and changed to head downstairs for breakfast. He walked down the hall and stopped at Relena's room. He heard someone crying. Could it possibly be her? He knocked and heard the noise stop. Figuring it might have been some bad dream, he just walked past her door to the dining room and soon was on his way to Preventer's HQ.
Relena stopped crying as soon as she heard Heero's knock. It was distinct and it was always three knocks. Getting out of bed, she headed to her bathroom to wash up. Washing away the dried tears, she brushed her teeth, combed her hair and started to get ready for work. She knew today would be another long day, minus Duo. Gathering her things, she headed downstairs to catch a quick bite and get to work.
Heero entered the Preventer's building and quickly made his way towards the conference hall next to Lady Une's office. Upon entering, he met Wufei who greeted him with a nod. They both walked in together to be greeted by Lady Une and the other Gundam pilots. The meeting ran long and they all seemed restless. Lady Une sent them with her last words, ''I believe in you'.
Heero lingered around to catch up with Trowa. The two had become good friends ever since Trowa helped Heero out when he had been badly hurt. They stayed and chatted while Duo slipped away unnoticed. He had to talk to Relena. He had to tell her that this would be a high-risk operation with a chance that half of them wouldn't come back alive.
Walking quickly, he started taking two steps down the stairs until he reached ground level. From there, he jogged to his car and was soon on his way to see Relena. He almost regretted what he told her last night. Could what he had said affected their relationship even more? He hoped not. Stopping at the sidewalk a block from her office building, he readied himself. He's try his hardest not to touch her.
Relena stared at the work laid out in front of her. She groaned, but picked up a pen and began work. Not ten minutes into reading a statement, she heard a knock. It wasn't Heero's so she spoke. "Whomever that it, I'm sorry, but I asked not to be bothered. I have much work to do, but if you would like to see me, please schedule an appointment with my secretary," as she turned her attention to the paper in her hands.
Duo smiled. She was funny. But this was important and she had to hear it from him. He decided to speak. "Lena, it's Duo. I gotta speak with you. Can I come in?" he asked from the other side of the door. Her head snapped up. What could he possibly want from her?
"Come in Duo," Relena said. He turned the knob and was greeted by Relena's warm smile. He mentally kicked himself. He shouldn't have started something he couldn't finish. Sitting down, he folded his hands in his lap and stared intently into her clear blue eyes.
Relena felt funny. Why was he looking at her this way? Hiding her growing embarrassment, she decided to speak. "Duo, are you going to say something?" she asked.
Duo snapped out of his reverie. "Uh, yeah. Une is sending all of us on this mission and I came to tell you that some of us may not survive," he tried to explain.
Relena laughed. "Duo, come on. I know that all your missions are high risk, and obviously there is a chance that you guys won't all come back alive. You didn't need to tell me that," she explained flatly.
"No, you're misunderstanding me. I meant that Une really did the math. She predicts that more than half of us won't make it back. And I'm telling you that if I don't come back, that I still love you. I never stopped and I never will stop. I'm sorry if this is complicating for you, but it kills me to know I can't have you. I'll leave now, I just wanted to tell you that," he said as he turned to leave. Relena broke. Tears started streaming down her cheeks. He'd admitted that he loved her.
Heero left Preventer's and made his way to Relena's office. He was going to say his goodbyes now when he knew he could. Driving fast, images of them laughing and smiling together broke his heart. He loved her dearly, but he wondered as of late, what he'd done so wrong to turn her away. He parked in front of her building and bounded up the front stairs, greeting the doorman and rushed inside to talk to her. He walked down the winding hallways and corridors until he stopped at her office. He was about to turn the knob when he heard another voice in her office.
"Duo, turn around. Don't go yet," she said as she ran towards him. Locked in a tight embrace, they shared a final kiss before he and everything they had, left her. Heero flung open the door and his jaw literally dropped. His girlfriend and his friend were locked in a passionate kiss. They of course, never heard him enter.
Heero glared daggers. Waiting, he saw them slowly open their eyes to smile at each other, their faces soon turning into shock. "So this was what you've been doing all that time huh?" Heero said. Relena walked towards him.
"No, stay away from me Relena. I don't want to hear your excuses. I trusted you, and this is what you do?" he spat. Duo moved to him as well.
"Heero, I'm sorry. I, we didn't mean for this to happen. It just kinda did and then we couldn't get ourselves out of it. Heero, I love her, and I'd never do anything to hurt her," Duo tried to explain.
"Shut the hell up, Maxwell. It was probably you who started this damn mess. Don't try and tell me that this was a mistake. If it was, then why the bloody hell was it going on for so long? When were you two planning to break this to me? Or did you think I wouldn't find out? I knew from the first moment that Relena came home late those three weeks ago. I know her better than anyone, and I know she's not one to neglect her work," Heero yelled.
Relena cringed. She's really messed up and now there was no way to get out of it. "I'm sorry Heero. I love you, I didn't mean-" she was cut off by Heero's icy glare.
"Quit it Relena. Don't tell me you love me. How can you even say that doing what you've done? I trusted you. Why couldn't you have told me? I wouldn't have been mad. I only want you to be happy, and if sneaking behind my back makes you happy, then please do so," he bit back sarcastically. He watched as her face twisted, tears trailing down her face.
"I do love you Heero. With all my heart, but I don't seem to think I regret whatever happened with Duo and I. I don't know what I feel right now, and I really am sorry that we hurt you. For me to ask forgiveness would be stepping over the line, and I'm sorry. I'll always love you, I always have and I always will, I just made a mistake," she attempted to explain. Heero's face softened, but only because he couldn't take yelling anymore.
"Relena, I came here to tell you I have to go on one more mission. There's a big chance that some of us might not come back alive, and if I don't be happy with Duo. I only want to see you happy, and please don't apologize to me. You did this for a reason. Things happen for reasons, that's what you taught me. I guess this happened because you let it," Heero said solemnly before he left. Duo tried to go after him, but Relena pulled him back. There was a large chance that Heero may change his mind and beat the hell out of Duo. They sat on the couch together, Duo holding her hand as she cried. Today would have been the anniversary that she first met Heero.
Heero walked silently, thinking of what to do. He didn't feel much pain, only that Relena couldn't have trusted herself to tell him the truth before he found out. It hurt him to know that more than three years of his life were wasted. Time he would never get back, but time that he didn't regret losing. She helped him become who he was today, but she also hurt him more than he could ever fathom. Unlocking his car, he made his way to the Peacecraft mansion to start packing his belongings and move out. She probably didn't want him there anymore and he couldn't stand to look at her when she was sad.
Duo murmured soothing words into her now deaf ears. She tried to block out his words, knowing that the person whom she had fought tooth and nail for, left her. It was her fault, she knew that. She could have prevented anything from happening in the first place, but she didn't. And now the only person who actually returned that same love for her, was gone, she felt empty. Even Duo couldn't pull her out of this darkness.
Heero neared the mansion. Memories flooded his head as he remembered their first kiss, the first time he told her he loved her. They were memories he once cherished, but now he had nothing to hold dear to his heart. Parking, he let himself in and walked up the stairs to his room to begin packing. He could stay with Quatre and Trowa.
Relena lifted herself up from the couch. She had to leave work, go somewhere to vent her feelings. Duo wasn't really helping. "Duo, I have to leave. I don't know where, but don't look for me. I need time to myself. I'll be back later," she said as she picked up her jacket and headed out the door. He stared at her, words slowly registering into his head. This was a great mess they had gotten themselves into.
Duo decided to leave as well. He had to talk to Hilde. She needed to know this too. It would hurt him more if she found out from someone else. Taking his coat, he ran to his car and gunned the engine.
Heero picked up the now half filled box. He didn't possess many belongings and was nearly finished. He thought it would be best to write Relena a letter goodbye. Sitting down on his bed, he opened his laptop and connected his printer to it. Then it hit him, typing something like this didn't seem right. He went back to the box and fished around until he found a notepad and a pen. Then he sat down to write.
Relena.
I'm writing to tell you that I've left. I've packed all my belongings and they shouldn't be in your way for too long. I've moved all my things to Quatre's and this is a last goodbye, I suppose. It hurts me to know that you couldn't have trusted me. I would have been fine to let you go, because for as long as I've loved you, I only wanted to make you happy. I'm sorry if I pushed you to that, and I don't think I've ever done anything to hurt you quite so much as you have done to me. I secretly feel relieved. I know you're happy now, and that's all that matters. If I don't make it back alive, stay with Duo. Know that I care about you, and I'll always love you, no matter what. You never need to be reminded of that.
You've given me thousands of gifts, treasures I used to hold deeply in my heart. I think back now, hoping that I don't lose them. You gave me a soul and a conscience to use. For that, I thank you. But know that I cherished every waking moment with you. Remember how we used to make wishes upon stars? I wished that you would be happy, and I think that you are.
I'm out of your life now, but I'll always be there for you, not as a soul mate, but as a friend. I can't trust myself around you anymore. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but you laid it out in the open for me. I wish you great happiness and this is my final goodbye.
~Heero
He finished the letter and wiped starting tears from his eyes. He put the notepad and pen back into the box and threw the rest of his clothes into the box. He wouldn't need them for much longer. Sealing the box, he folded the letter neatly and walked across the hall to Relena's room. He left it folded on her desk, hoping she'd read it soon. Walking back to his room, he picked up the box and left his key with Pagan before heading out to his car. Shutting the trunk, he hopped in and took one look at his old home before leaving.
Relena walked and walked until she reached her house. Feet not even aching, she walked more and stopped in front of a grassy glade. Hopefully she could find some solace here.
Duo had decided not to tell Hilde yet. He felt that she wasn't ready to hear it, and he would tell her when the time seemed right. Knowing that what had happened prior to their situation, now would be the most horrid time to tell his girlfriend that he had been cheating and lying to her.
A.N. - Whoo boy... I didn't realize how much was wrong here. Glad one nice person decided to step in a clue me in. There at least 5 or 6 more chapters, so please keep reviewing and don't stop supporting! Thanks to all!