ch10 - Revisions and a Nightmare
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Gundam Wing or its characters, and although I wish I did, I can only borrow their characters for my fic. I own nothing except the plot for this story. Don't sue me!
A.N. - Thanks to all who have been by my side since the first chapter. Your support is overwhelming and because of you, I have been able to go thus far. Let's make it to the end okay? And... this chapter is gonna suck big time! At least I think so. I put too many conflicts and ahh... I'm going nutso. Anyhow, please review. I'm not feeling any love from you readers! You gotta tell me, good, bad, okay???
italics are song
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She sat there staring at the floor.
"Oh, that," she answered quietly.
"What? You sound as though you dread talking about us. I simply wanted us to sort out what will happen in the future. Are you committed to giving us one more chance, or are we going our separate ways?" he said.
"I do dread this. I'm afraid of what will happen," she replied, not looking at him once.
"But how can you be afraid of what will happen? It has to happen eventually. Can't we just get it over with now?" he asked, before lacing his fingers with hers.
Instant warmth. It sent thousands of shivers down her spine as his grip tightened to reassure her. She slowly raised her eyes, and found them drawn to his immediately. His gaze fed the fire within her and she let herself weep quietly.
"I don't know anymore. I'm so sorry for doing this to you," she said as she sobbed.
"What do you mean you don't know anymore? You mean that you still have feelings for Duo?" he asked, hoping she would say no.
"No, of course not! I never did. What happened between him and I was a mistake, and I feel so dirty, so scarred from it. I don't know, what do you want?" she asked, still wiping her eyes.
He knew the answer right away, but how could he say it without scaring her?
"It's not up to me to make this decision, but I'm glad you said no. I do care about you, I always have. I won't lie and say that what you happened didn't hurt me, because it did. But I would never hate you for anything," he said as he took her other hand in his.
His eyes pleaded with her and she gave in. Relena knew that deep down, she could never love another.
"I do want to try again, if you'll give me the chance," she said softly.
Pulling her to him, he whispered in her hair,
"Always,"
Sally stood outside, hoping she wouldn't interrupt anything. By the looks of it, they would be getting back together. She smiled at the thought and decided to ask a nurse to check up on Heero later.
Meanwhile:::
"Quatre, what's going on in there?" Catherine asked.
"I think they're getting back together,"
"I thought so. I'm going to leave now. I need to check on a few things. Tell Trowa I'll be back soon," she said before leaving.
Quatre nodded, then he turned around.
"I suppose they've made up," Trowa said quietly.
"I guess they have. I'm glad it worked out. By the way, your sister went home to check things" Quatre replied.
Parking lot:::
Duo sat there. It had been about six hours and he was still sitting in the parking lot of the spaceport, wondering whether he should go. Drumming his long fingers against the dashboard, he made his mind up and threw the car into reverse and backed out of the lot. He decided that he wouldn't go without saying goodbye. He owed it to them, and he thought that an apology would be helpful as well. Driving back on the highway, he flicked his headlights on and drove the rest of the way, determined to make her understand. He still loved her. 'Relena', her name rolled off his lips as the car made its way back to the hospital.
With heavy eyelids, Relena drew back from Heero, her heart still thudding against her ribcage. It felt as though it would burst because she was so happy. Looking at him in the eye, she smiled and squeezed his hand.
"Thank you for giving me a second chance," she said softly.
He smiled. He knew that she was sincere enough to mean that.
"Of course. Without you, my life would be dark. You bring light into it," he replied, gently kissing her lips.
She felt fresh tears resurface and let the slide down her cheeks. Nothing in this world would change her mind now. She would stay by his side forever. Part of her soul glowed with warmth, but the still guilty half bent in shame. She would still not forgive herself for her infidelity.
"I was weak. I'm sorry Heero. I didn't know why you wanted to forgive me," she whispered.
He shook his head against her hair.
"Don't say that. I'm not mad anymore. It was a mistake, humans make mistakes. I forgave you because I saw what you were doing to yourself," he said softly.
Her eyes opened. "What do you mean 'doing to myself'?" she asked.
He didn't understand. "The way you take care of yourself. You've gotten so thin, you look like you're wasting away. Don't do this to yourself," he said.
She pulled away from him, shocked.
"Me? I'm doing this to myself. I've been keeping vigil by your bed for nearly a week. I went home once since then and that's because Quatre forced me. I haven't been able to keep food down because it just wouldn't stay. Don't tell me that you think I've been punishing myself for what happened," she said.
"I didn't say that. I just said that you should take better care of yourself," he answered plainly.
"Excuse me? So, your reason for forgiving me is because you pity me?" she asked, voice tight and harsh.
"No, I never said that. I forgave you because I wasn't mad anymore. I don't pity you," he answered, eyes sliding closed as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Quatre sensed tension in the room. High tension. He looked in through the slight slats of the blinds. He could see Relena now standing and Heero looking like he was asleep. There was something wrong. He could feel it in the harshness of Relena's actions.
Getting up to check it out, Quatre was nearly out of his seat before he felt Trowa's hand hold him back.
"Koi, leave them be. They need to sort this out themselves," he said.
Quatre lightly scowled. "I guess you're right. But-"
"No buts. Let them sort this out. They would probably be offended that we tried to help them. Come, let's have lunch," Trowa suggested.
I'll always remember,
it was late afternoon.
Relena sat down with a huff. She couldn't believe he said that. She knew that she hadn't been taking the best care of herself, but she was preoccupied with caring about him. What hurt more was that he forgave her because he didn't want her to waste away. She was certainly not starving herself.
Heero opened his eyes to see her staring out the window. Snow had ceased its fall and he could see the sills on windows from across the building covered in a thick layer of snow.
It lasted forever,
and ended too soon.
She was well aware that he had been staring at her. Purposely shifting closer to the window, she recrossed her legs and let her heavy eyelids slide shut.
D r e a m s e q u e n c e : : :
Relena ran as far as her legs would carry her. The world began to fall away from under her feet, but she had a feeling that she wasn't alone. Something above, something was hovering. She looked up, but quickly shut her eyes before dust and soot fell from the cracked sky. Something shone, despite the darkness that encased the world, and she called out, shielding herself from still falling objects.
She saw it, the destruction and chaos before her very eyes. Never letting out a scream, she moved on, despite the falling debris and smoke, she saw something before her. It was bright, like someone had turned a lamp on in the midst of darkness. Squinting, she progressed, pushing through the broken buildings and leveled houses.
You were all by yourself,
staring up at a dark gray sky,
"Heero!" she yelled above the noise.
It was him, she could see his figure outlined in the dark. Running, she came to find it was nothing. There was however, one thing left. It was a newspaper. Completely unharmed, it shone back at her, almost beckoning her to read it.
I was changed.
"Gundam Pilot Heero Yuy murdered" read the front line. A scream tore through the night and she dropped to her knees. Everyone was gone. She was all alone and something had been keeping her from dying. Of all the things that fell from the pitch black sky, nothing seemed to hit her. She wished something would end her misery. Letting a tear roll down her cheek, she stood up and walked. She would find someone, whenever she was. Turning around, the earth rolled away from beneath her feet and she fell. Closing her eyes, she hoped to find release and see Heero wherever he was in the afterlife.
"Relena!! Don't fall! You can't. I'm still here, see? Reach for me!" Heero yelled above the whooshing of wind. Her eyes snapped open to see Heero at the lip of the never ending hole in the ground. Letting silent tears fall, she closed her eyes once more, knowing it was too late. She couldn't save herself.
E n d d r e a m s e q u e n c e
Relena bolted from her chair. Tears began to flow as she clutched her sides and turned from Heero.
In places no one would find
all your feelings so deep inside [deep inside]
Heero, jogged from his daydream stared at her. She was crying and he didn't really know why. Pulling the sheet off him, he moved to get out of bed to comfort her. He knew that they had their moments when they would be angry at one another, but he knew in the end that he still loved her. He could never let her go. Slowly making steps towards her shaking figure, he held out his hand and tapped her.
it was then that I realized
that forever was in your eyes, the moment I saw you cry.
"Are you okay? It's me Heero, it's okay. I'm here," he said softly before enveloping her in a warm embrace.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she let him hold her. Reaching out to grasp his warm hand, she cried, letting out all her bottled emotions. Relena felt that she didn't have quite so many reasons to cry, but she just couldn't be strong anymore. It was breaking her.
The moment that I saw you cry.
He whispered soothing words, stroking her honey blonde hair and he rocked her back and forth. Heero finally understood what she had been crying for. He remembered he had the same nightmare. He recalled staring down at her as she fell. His heart lurched as he couldn't save her, but she looked like she would be at peace. The weight of the world was crushing her and he wasn't there to save her, so he let her go instead.
It was late in September
and I've seen you before [and you were]
you were always the cold one,
but I was never that sure.
They had returned from lunch and Quatre felt the level of hostility in the room drop and he let out a sigh. He could hear Relena crying and he knew that it must have been because she cracked. All the anger his two friends expressed must have gotten to her. Taking Trowa's hand, he smiled at his lover and closed his eyes.
You were all by yourself
staring at a dark gray sky
I was changed.
"I take it they're alright?" Trowa asked, uncertain.
"Yes, they're fine. Relena's just stressed. She had to let it go," Quatre said quietly.
"I told you so," Trowa said, smirking.
"Yeah, yeah," Quatre said.
In places no one would find.
Looking up at him, Relena noted her looked almost, child-like. His eyes were closed and his dark hair hung in front of his eyes as he kept stroking her head. Squeezing his hand, she spoke.
All your feelings so deep inside [deep inside]
it was then that I realized
that forever was in your eyes
the moment I saw you cry.
"I'm fine now Heero," she said, her voice quiet.
He opened his eyes and smiled.
I wanted to hold you,
I wanted to make it go away.
I wanted to know you,
I wanted to make your everything alright...
"Forgive me. I didn't realize how much stress you were under. But still, you have to eat. I don't want you to end up in the hospital okay?" he said.
I'll always remember,
it was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...
Nodded as she saw his head descend. He captured her lips with his, still clasping his hand, their fingers laced.
Heero broke away and looked at her, his deep blue eyes burning with fire. Rasping, his chest heaved to get air.
In places no one would find,
all your feelings so deep inside [deep inside]
forever was in your eyes,
it was then that I realized
that forever was in your eyes,
the moment I saw you cry...
"I love you so much. Marry me," he said breathlessly.
"Count on it," she said before letting out a whoot of laughter.
They would be together once more, but there was still impending danger. Relena felt it the most. She knew that Duo would have something to say. Her feelings to the braided pilot had nose-dived in the past week and she found herself disliking him. She didn't know why, but there was this feeling of revulsion. It brought about her sordid past with him, the time where she would sneak in at night, praying Heero would never catch her. It was her past and she hoped that it would never resurface as long as she lived.
"I'm going to be Mrs. Heero Yuy," she said softly.
"Yes you will. Are we going to have kids?" he asked, jokingly.
"We'll see," she said.
"Can we start now?" he asked, laughing.
"Maybe," she answered coyly.
"Why not now?" he said.
"Because we're in a hospital and our friends are right outside of this room," she said plainly.
"We can be quiet," he said quickly.
"No, knowing me, no we can't. But you know I love you. So much that it hurts," she said, as tears of happiness were brought forth.
"Don't cry," he said softly, tightening his hold on her hand.
"I'm crying because I'm happy. I'm going to make you so happy," she said, letting a solitary tear roll down her cheek.
"I know you will. I hope I can do the same for you," he added.
"You're capable of anything," she said before pulling him into an embrace.
Baby cry,
the moment that i saw you cry.
I think i saw you cry,
the moment I saw you cry,
and I wanted to know you...
A.N. - Eh... that chapter sucked. I thought it did. I had writer's block for a long time and all that came from it was... a stupid thrown together chapter... WAHH... Anyhow, thanks to so many who have supported me. Please review? And don't you dare flame me! I know this story isn't the greatest, don't remind me of it. One last chapter!!! Thank god, I want to finish this. Come on people, feel the love, review for me okay? It's pretty pathetic that I have ten chapters and hardly any reviews. This story has been going on for months too. It's so sad....On one more note... please don't review to tell me that my characters are OOC. Yes, I know for a fact that they are, why? Because they are my puppets and I am the puppet master! Muahaha, uh... right.
Song: "Cry" - Mandy Moore.