fiasco




	The Gwalgen Hops Fiasco


The often underestimated genius of the book 1984, was not in its explanations of the horror of totalitarianism, the power-hungry nature of politicians or even the structure and functioning of international politics and repression through the three supra-states. These point have often been quoted an given their just dues from those who have an innate distrust for government. One of the most underdevolped, and ofter viewed as negative, elements of the book was the concept of doublethink. Doublethink is not, in contrast to what many people have taken it to mean, a simple act of government using contradictory acts and information to get the public to believe in anything, i.e. Bush's use of 'war against terrorism' doctrine. Doublethink, according to the character O'Brian in the book, is strongest in the inner party members himself, and is practiced by this member to the extreme. Doublethink is the ability for party members to be able to believe any and every bit of contradictory information (reality and party doctrine) at the exact same time and summon this information from the brain or hide it from oneself for use when necessary. This process takes a tremendous amount of self-discipline and is also the basis for the Gwalgen Hops Fiasco. The Gwalgen Hops Fiasco is a process of self-discipline that is designed to allow ones personality/reality/id/self to let go of the intense layers of self imposed social regulations that one has chosen in life. It is a process that I find strikingly similar to the movie Fight Club. It is a process of total self contradiction of the normal rules of self engagement. It is a split between the part of yourself that feels (happiness, guilt, love, hate) and the part of yourself that thinks. It is a process of self-destruction. It is summarized by the following rip off of a 1984 quote: "Those who can let go of the past, can live in the present. Those who can live in the present can control their future."

		July: 00 Love comes from that ability to crutch when the mind can't handle it all on it's own. When your ability to be everything is hampered by time and mental power. Where your ability to function as a person lliving and a person acting is threatened and you need a helping hand, and someone can give a helping hand....Yes maybe that is where love lies. Deep in the dark where two lovers are penetrating eachother and as the body quivers away, the minds reach a climax and then every pore in the skin opens up and you can feel the NRG radiating from every piece of flesh, and as you yourself have an orgasm of the soull, only then do the two of you hover there blocking out every emotion and thought and feeling and existance, except for that aw-insiring catastrophe that has shown you the power of life and that someone can save you, maybe even will save you...

			May: 01 I want you to know what ir feels like now to be Gwalgen or Geordie or whoever I am now at 6:02 in the morning full or dead polio, typhoid, Hep A virus and TB anti-virus. I havn't slept in 2 days. I'm all alone at the end of a long journey and I'm not at a fork in the road. But there is a dark corner that always been hidden and visible that I'm looking at for the first time in my life. Writing all this down, doing all this returning and fighting so godamn hard has lead me here for the first time...alone. I don't have a future and I knew that. Now I have a past. And I know what it is. I came to where I am today on my own through a labrynth. And I just mapped my life out and everything I've done including the next 7 days all makes perfect sense. It all has come together. I finally understand. My eyes are finally open. I love War.

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