Shitty Misconceptions.
By IsNotSane.
[email protected]
1x2. Duo�s POV.
Maybe some other pairings later... dunno yet.
Warnings: This chapter is quite discrete� references to past accusations and possibly ref. to past NCS. References to Shounen-ai/Yaoi.
This part is kinda school-fic-like. =D
*****
Shitty Misconceptions.
Part 2.
I use to have this really quid pro quo way of thinking, like, whenever someone would do something nice for me, I felt sorta obligated to repay them some how. I don�t know why� I was never one to get involved in the whole �psychological� side of your own mind thing. Maybe it was Sister Helen�s influence. She always taught me to be nice to others, and to repay kindness. You know, I�ll rub your back, you rub mine. That sort of thing. Of course, she didn�t put it in those terms. It was always the �good catholic� thing with her. That made it kind of hard in my situation, when really, the only God I believe in is Shinigami. But I�ve always tried to live up to her standards. It was the least I could do to repay her. Look, there I go again� okay, so maybe I�m not over the whole quid pro quo thing after all. Yet, I never did repay those bastards who had falsely did nice gestures for me, then requested �payback��
I think that�s when I started to really feel bad about myself. You see, the difference about me from the rest of the scum street rats on L2, is that I had morals. Morals I *had* to live by. Now don�t get me wrong, I�m not saying that I was better than they were� probably just the opposite, actually. Sometimes I even wished Solo and Father Maxwell weren�t ever there to show me right from wrong. Fuck knows it woulda been a helluva lot easier on my behalf. But then, I wouldn�t be here right now, would I? The fucked-up, sorry excuse for a Gundam pilot I am today.
There were a lot of them� dicks who would pretend to be kind, pretend to be �different� from all the other jerks you would find on L2. So when they requested a repayment� and don�t think the money kind of repayment� I would just get so� *frustrated*. I was always so tired of people wanting *that* from me, that I would always deny them of their *payback* and run away ready to blow. Yeah. Stupid me, I always felt so totally guilty (after I got over my anger) for not doing the �right� thing and giving the bastards what they wanted. That is, if they didn�t get it themselves by force.
I�m guessing its when I was training under Professor G that I� *matured* from that frame of mind. The old geezer taught me the concept of every man for himself. I should�ve taken those wise old words more seriously. Maybe then I wouldn�t have gotten myself involved in that last *little ordeal*. I feel so totally stupid and weak for letting myself get hurt by the other pilots, and I had often said to myself, �Forget about �em, don�t let those stiff bastards get to ya�. But I can�t help it. What happened those how-many-days ago, still effects me� as much as I hate to admit it to even myself.
As soon as we were sure that the OZ base had been completely down (thanks to me, I might remind) I was outta there. Destroyed that damn jeep, and went my own way. I�m not sure what happened to that OZ uniform I stole� I was gonna destroy it, but I guess one of the guys decided it may be beneficial for future use, or something. Don�t know why� since it was probably stained with a lot of my own blood, and all. Oh well.
For the past couple of weeks, I�ve been laying low. Enrolling in a few schools here, kicking a bit of OZ butt there, and so on. But always solo. I�ve somehow managed to avoid encountering the other pilots throughout that time. I�m currently situated in this weird school that G said was funded by ozzies. To anyone else, it would seem as if OZ was trying to win people over by showing how �generous and caring� they are. Ch, what a load full of shit. I, of course, know better. To be funding this school, there is more than likely a potential OZ base near-by, that would be able to gain support from the local area and school when the base comes into action. Ha! I am so good at seeing right through their evil little schemes� although they probably *weren�t* expecting a Gundam pilot to be interfering any time soon. Fools.
I had worked them out, and so alls I needed to do was find out where they are� that could be important� and then destroy the place before it can do any damage of its own. Simple. Easy. Piece of cake�
That was, of course, before I noticed something earlier today. Or rather, some ONE. That�s right� it was unmistakable. The one and only Perfect Soldier Heero Yuy walked right by me in the packed school halls. Okay� maybe not *right* by me, but *I* sure as hell spotted him.
It still bugs me that he must have been able to catch on to the little OZ scheme going on here as well. I kinda wanted to have this mission all to myself� you know, gain myself a little victory that�ll make me feel a bit better about myself like the last time� oh, wait, I *didn�t* feel better the last time. Silly me. May as well just leave right now and let Mr. Yuy take over the operation�. He�ll probably be done with it before I even have a chance to get my hands on the tiniest bit of info. Damn.
Oh well, what can ya do? May as well go and pack my stuff. There�s no use sticking around here� schools are soooo boring�! As much as I would *love* to have my life focused around a stupid school like every other teen my age, I can�t afford to waste any more time than necessary since I�m a freakin� fifteen year old Gundam pilot instead�
Oh well, I�m too stupid to fit in with all the general schoolwork anyway. Even if I�m only using the schools temporarily for covers, homework still sucks. *sigh* Too bad� just when I was beginning to get popular.
I keep my head up and my smile fastened in place as I walk through the halls and stairwells until I reach my dormitory, not going without the occasional passing of customary �Hey�s � complete with the attached head nod. That�s school folk for ya. And yes, I am aware I am a contradicting enigma � smile to the audience, demolish the backstage � And yes, I know �contradicting enigma� didn�t sound right, but that�s the best way I can explain it.
As I walk through the dormitory, I notice it is quite empty� right, everyone is still in class. I don�t know why, but I�m kinda feeling a bit jumpy� suspicious, as if something�s gonna just suddenly jump me, or something. Weird. But I�ve always known to trust my instinctual feelings� something you pick up from living on the streets. Being a wanted �terrorist� kinda adds to that as well.
The feeling is just getting worse as I near my room� and I unconsciously have gone into soldier mode, staying low and slow while reaching behind me with my right hand for my small hand snipper. I reach my door � number 321� and I straighten my posture as I stand behind it. Switching the gun to my left hand, I brace myself as I slowly and carefully reach for the handle. I take a deep breath, silently hoping that my suspicions are wrong� which they probably are.
Unfortunately, my suspicious *had* to be confirmed as I heard a tiny, muffled sound come from within my room. Dammit� I was hoping I was just getting paranoid.
Oh well here I go� 1� 2�. 3!!!
At the last count, I grab the handle, turning it and pushing the door wide open as quickly as my reflexes would allow. Reaching forward with both arms, I point my gun in front of me and aim straight ahead, forming a position that�ll easily allow me swift, sharp movements if action stirred up. But the sight before me is definitely an unexpected one.
Standing in the middle of my room, straight across from me, is Heero Yuy� sporting much the same position as me. He coldly holds my gaze as we lock eyes for a few seconds with the guns still pointed directly at each other. I could just imagine what chaos it would cause if someone were to walk past right now. Our covers would be blown for sure� that could get ugly.
Neither of us make a move, so I decide I better stop this before he gets a little *too* trigger-happy and blows off my head or something. Slowly, I lower my hands while pointing my gun to the ground. Once he sees what I am intending, he slowly begins to do the same, although he does it much more cautiously. Once his gun is pointed down as is mine, I smirk at him � none too friendly � and replace my gun back to the back of my pants as I straighten. I�m wearing far more casual clothes right now than usual� I haven�t yet had the opportunity to go back to collect another priest attire from L2. These clothes make me less obvious in a crowd, but they don�t supply near as much flexibility and gun-space.
Heero relaxes his arm to his side, taking one last glance at me before turning around, setting his gun in the open bed-side draw and seemingly continued to do� whatever it is he was doing. What is he doing?
�Be more prepared next time.� Heero says before I have a chance to ask him. I just blink � kinda stupidly � at him and say ��huh?�
�Your gun,� he informs me simply as he turns slightly to look behind his shoulder at me, pointing at my waist. �You left the safety on.�
I can feel my eyes widen slightly at his words, and he just calmly turns back around. My hand automatically reaches behind me to where I keep my gun, fingering it slightly then trying not to curse as I realize that he�s right! How the hell was he able to spot something like that?? I didn�t even see him take his eyes off mine. Wow. Thorough bastard.
��I knew that.� I say, sounding pathetic even to myself. He ignores me of course, and just goes about unpacking his stuff� wait, *unpacking* his stuff?!?
�What the hell are you doin� here?� I ask, letting my irritation seep through my voice. I walk the rest of the way into the room and shut the door behind me� wouldn�t want any stupid slacker to accidentally pass by and ruin everything, now would we?
�Acquiring information on OZ.� Simple, plain, rational. Excellent� how do you argue with that?
�No, I mean what�re *you* doin� in *my* room?� I ask, sounding annoyed� which I am. Who the fuck cares if this dude is drop-dead sexy� in a sorta stoic way� ??? Not me. He�s just as bad as the others� him being here will just make things worse for me. Not that I was going to stay anyway� so why the hell am I getting all weird about it? Man� I need to stop thinking� I�m just confusing myself.
Heero turns to look at me this time, stopping what he was doing to stare into my eyes� and I swear, those cobalt blue eyes will just send shivers down your spine. I tried hard to suppress it, though. Hopefully it didn�t show, but I�m not so sure.
I had expected him to say something, but he just kept staring at me. I held his gaze, not wanting to seem embarrassed or anything. Then finally, after, like, an eternity of just staring, he spoke.
�You really shouldn�t keep your gun on you while walking freely about the school premises.� I wouldn�t really call it a reply. And he just turned back around! Damn him, what the hell is his fucking problem, anyway?
�I never go anywhere without a weapon.� I inform sternly. I really don�t care if that sounded childish, he is making me angry. And he still hasn�t answered my question! �So?� I ask, sounding irritated and sarcastic. �What�re ya doin� here??�
�I found �Max Duman�s� file on the school database while I was hacking the files. It would be beneficial if we were partnered together for this particular mission.�
Okay� that made me blink stupidly again. Heero didn�t even look at me while he spoke, and� did I *hear* right? Did the great *Heero Yuy* just say he wanted to be partnered for a mission? Okay� here comes that suspicious feeling again�
��What?� I ask. Hey, it�s not my fault if I can�t comprehend this. This *is* Heero, after all.
Heero stopped what he was doing, and I think he let out a little sigh or something. He turned to me, and almost, *almost* seemed �somewhat nervous or embarrassed or something.
�Information about the involvement of OZ with this school has been restricted on the computers. The best way to find more information now, is to socialize and associate with the residents here. You are more� experienced in that field. We would achieve much more if you were involved.�
Well that was a mouth-full. For Heero Yuy anyway. Hmm. So Heero *needs* me for this mission� typical. Why else would he want to be partnered with *me*?
He kept my gaze for a bit as I got all that in. I blow out a breath upwards which causes my bangs to fly up a bit, then shrug and move to my bed.
�Whatever.� I say, jumping lightly on my chosen bed to lay face-up. I casually throw my arm over my face, covering my closed eyes in the crook of my arm and wiggling slightly to get comfortable. �Well, if ya don�t mind, I�ve already missed, like, fifteen minutes of my first class, so I�m gonna sleep for a bit. I�ll socialize for information next lesson.�
I keep my breathing even and low, but I am paying close attention to the sudden silence I am faced with, as if Heero had just paused and is looking at me. I think I can feel his eyes on me, but that doesn�t last very long as I hear the soft rustling of fabrics and the heavy clunks of weapons start once again. Not that I would admit it aloud, but I actually appreciate Heero being here. With me. I dunno, ever since that� hm� night, I�ve just had this sort of subdued, despondent feeling around me that I couldn�t really determine or rid myself of. It was just kinda getting me down. I don�t think it was depression, but it was definitely wearing me out. I know I should be mad at him, but� I dunno, I just cant help it. I mean, *he* didn�t really do anything wrong� he just sorta sat there. Either he saw the situation differently from the other pilots, so didn�t comment; or he was a coward and just let the others talk. I�d like to think it is the first. But then again, he may have just been a stoic bastard who sat and decided not to waste valuable breath yelling at me since Wufei was doing enough of that for all four of them.
�I need to learn when to shut off my thinking.
I make sure to set my internal clock for a couple of hours, and I just hope it�ll work. I hate when it doesn�t. The familiar sounds Heero was making seemed to lull me, coz the next thing I know, I�m feeling droopy and begin to drift off. This is something I could definitely get use to� the sounds of Heero. Okay� I know I shouldn�t be thinking that� but hell. Who�s gonna know?
I begin to think before I fall asleep� as I usually do� and my last thought before I slipped into slumber-world just made me confused� since I thought I was over that whole thing. Which I know I�m gonna hate when I wake up, coz I *hate* feeling all confused when I just get up. The thought was something like:
�I need to pay Heero back for being here, taking away that melancholy feeling.�
Yup� the quid pro quo thing again. And I have no idea why. It didn�t even make sense to me, but I felt content enough to fall asleep before I could analyze that thought. I probably wont even remember it when I wake. Well, as long as Heero doesn�t request *that* type of payback� I guess I�ll just have to wait and find out what he will do. I wonder� is Heero just like the rest, or could he be� different?
I can only hope.
*****
I wake up feeling� just as I predicted, somewhat confused. But not in the way I had expected.
�Maxwell�!� someone was saying my name, but how can that be? I�m meant to be alone� aren�t I? Wait, stop, clear groggy mind, listen to voice�.
�Duo, you have classes in 0.5 minutes, wake up�!�
Ahh� that�s it. Heero�s voice. Now it�s all coming back to me. And that makes me grimace.
I can hear the annoyance in Heero�s voice, as he tries to vocally urge me to get my lazy ass out of bed. I�m actually a little surprised that he doesn�t just push me out of bed, or drag me out by my hair, or something like that. It would seem like a normal �Heero� thing to do� hmm. I guess even he still feels a bit uncomfortable around me after our last encounter. Heh, if he�s gonna be that way, may as well take advantage of the situation.
I realize I am still lying face-up, so I turn around to lay on my stomach and reach for the blanket around me, saying a muffled, �Who the fuck cares?� while pulling the blanket over my head. I know I would have gotten up if Heero weren�t here, but since he is, I may as well test my grounds and flexibility around him. And who cares if that sounds childish? I think I should have at least *some* privileges after how they accused me like that.
I can hear Heero�s irritated sigh, and I cant help but smirk to myself, glad my face was covered so Heero couldn�t see it.
�The sooner you can interact and obtain information from the people here, the sooner we can take out the base.� He stated matter-of-factly. That�s Heero for ya. If ever in a tight spot, just pull out the logic. I, of course, just ignore this and instead, just hold up hand so it was above the blanket where Heero could see it, and gave him the� one-finger solute. If ya know what I mean.
Apparently, this is where he draws the line, deciding to screw inconvenience. I suddenly feel a sharp pull on my precious braid, causing me to jump slightly and yelp as my head was pulled back with the force. I hold the back of my head as I turn myself enough to look Heero in the eye, and glare at him. He is standing above me with his arms crossed and an expectant look on his face.
�Fine.� I finally grumble, pushing the blanket back so I wouldn�t get tangled in it while getting up. That would make me look even more like an idiot.
Once I�m up, I look down at myself. I decide that my clothes aren�t wrinkly enough to have to change, so I just brush myself down. When I look back up, Heero is still looking at me with a dark glare, and I just roll my eyes.
�I�m up already, I�m goin�! You happy?� I ask sarcastically, making my tone sound irritated, although I knew I had it coming.
�Your behavior is inappropriate. You need to take this mission more seriously.�
I feel my eyes go wide as he speaks, and its all I can do to not blow up at him right now. How dare he? *Inappropriate*??? Like he could talk.
Though before I could let my anger devour me and I blow-up at Heero, I decide to take a deep breath. I look at him, trying hard not to punch that cold expression of his as I internally get myself under control.
�I don�t think you have a right to say that,� I inform him slowly and calmly, although I�m sure my expression looked deadly. �My behavior is 100% correct under these circumstances. Do you think maybe there�s a reason I can socialize with these people better than Mr. Perfect Soldier??� I ask, sounding cool and calm with heavy sarcasm. I�m proud of myself for that one. I see his expression darken a little� although I�m not exactly sure if that was from anger or whatever. But apart from that, he seems unaffected.
�Maxwell, you are acting like a child.� He condemns me, narrowing his eyes further at me.
�Oh?� I ask, sounding sarcastically innocent, with the expression and all. He walked right into this one. �Is that so? Well, Yuy, I really don�t think you would find a *child* �sleeping with the enemy�.� I say bluntly, and I�m pretty sure the message got across.
I *just* catch his eyes widen slightly in surprise at my words as I turn quickly, marching out of the room and shutting the door behind me before he could reply. Ha! Go me.
As I walked out of the dorm, I had both a feeling of satisfaction as well as despair� and I end up stopping at the end of the first flight of stairs to collect my thoughts before I headed to class. Okay� calm down first� good. Now, work out mind. 1. Heero Yuy is a bastard� 2� Oh, Shit! I�m late for class� oh well, its not the first time. 3�I think� well, okay. Maybe I was wrong� Heero may not be *that* much of a bastard� he�s just Heero. 4� Dammit! I left my bag in the room when I made my awesome exit. Damn that Heero�
Yes. I know, I�m even confusing myself. Whaddid I tell ya? A contradicting enigma. I don�t even know right now if I like Heero or not� I kinda do and don�t. Damn, I hate it when I feel like this. But what�s the point of stressing over it now?� I�ve gotta go to class before I get a detention.
So I, seeing as how I wasn�t making any progress with my thoughts anyway, put them aside for later and instead headed for class� without any books or pens, but oh well. I�d look too pathetic going back into my room to get my backpack while Heero is there. And I ain�t about to humiliate myself in front of the perfect soldier� all though it *would* give me an excuse to see him again�
Shit! What am I thinking?? Screw my earlier thoughts�. I don�t owe Heero a thing. Just look at what he�s doing to me! If anything� *he* owes *me*. He shouldn�t even be here in the first place! This is suppose to be *my* mission. And I�ve never felt like� *this* before I had met him� ch�, I never even had a *crush* on someone before Heero turned up. See what he�s doing to me?!? Heh� yeah. He owes me big for this one. Looks like my little quid pro quo deal has been turned around. Hmmm� that could be interesting�
No! Don�t think dirty� damn him. This is all his fault in the first place! I�m sure I hate him! I couldn�t like him� not when he makes me feel this way. I *can�t* like him like that� it�s� wrong. *That* only results in pain� for me at least. So I *can�t* like him. I can�t.
�but then� how come I can�t stop feeling this way?
I hate quid pro quo.
TBC.
*****
Okay� I know this chapter isnt the best� but I needed it to introduce the new scene! �and situation�
Hm� yes, anyway� just don�t let this chapter put you off the next ones, k? cool.
Next part will be comin out real soon, just hold on!
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