I gave all that mattered away,then lost everything else. The scars with heal the rest wont. I am an idiot, Why am I even writing this? I gave it away. I hurt myself and those I care about,and here I am crying like a stupid child who just threw her favourite doll in the fire and doesn't understand why it doesn't look the same. And once again the solution in my mind is the same. The one I don't want to hear, yet search for.
<Cut. Cut and the pain will go away, be replaced by something that you can see, you can touch and you can mend. You can stop the blood flowing but not the tears. Mask the pain inside with something fake. Something you can see and they can label.>
Why do I always want to be on both sides of the fence, To be what I cant be.
<Cut. Cut and you will be empty again, you can be cold, be made of stone, be vivica, because the pain will be masked. Gone until the blood has stopped and the scar formed. The reminder that will fade and be replaced.>
