Lieutenant Jim Horner pt. 1
Too much. Too much. In way too deep. Some, some. Some what? I trust. Who? Jack, that's who. He's - he's a - he's a - foo-foo-fool. Yesterday he traded me a deck of cards for all my extra yellow crayons. Is he a loony or what? I also convinced him that Marcus, one of our sector's guards, was a woman and that he only used to be a man. That guy is sure full of something. He's a ticking time bomb.
Ahhhh!! Nazis! You bastards! Take my wife, will ya! Ha! Die! Ahhhh!!
Oh, no one's there. Flashbacks. Damn shellshock too. Can't function even if someone mentions the word bomb or -
BOMB!! Ahhhh!! Damn Nazis! Ahhhh!!
Get it together, Jimbo. Lieutenant Horner! Yes sir! Reporting for duty! Sir! You're going on a new mission, Horner. I want you and five men to retrieve some m-m-maps in the head office. They belong to a man by the name of Fischer. I know that man, sir! Good. This will save me some time then. These maps contain the w-w-whereabouts of secret torpedo c-c-caches and the location of a safe hidden deep inside a laboratory. Too much. Too much. Too deep. What's in the safe, sir? Word has it that it contains the secret of life. It must be retrieved before the Nazis -
Ahhhh!! Run! Women and children first! Ahhhh!! Die, you pigs!
Do you accept this mission? Sir, yes, sir! Then round up your men. You'll be leaving in the morning. I'll have to wait until recreation time to round up me men. I'll have to choose them wisely. Brad is honourable, I trust Jack, hmmm, maybe O'Neil and Franco. There's just one more I need. Marcus wouldn't understand our cause. Jerome is out of his mind. I can't use him. I'll have to wait and see. I just need one more who will be sympathetic to our cause.
The secret of life - I wonder what that would be. At the end of the road of life is death… so maybe death is inside the safe. That could only mean one thing. That safe is booby trapped with a bomb!
Ahhhh!! Duck and cover! Fire! Retreat! Ahhhh!!
What a relief. Recreation is in only fifteen minutes. That's enough time to kick myself in the face a few times. That way I'll get to see Mary, the nurse. Mmm-mm! Is she fine! She's a bombshell.
Bomb! Ahhhh!!
I'll have to use someone else to open the safe then. They cannot know what's inside. But if I don't tell them they may decline the mission. B-b-but I'm their commanding officer. They'll have no choice. Maybe I can actually use Jerome to open the safe. That way I can complete the mission and get rid of him with one stone. He's a complete Section 8 anyways.
So I'll use Sergeant Jack, Sergeant Brad, Private O'Neil, Private Franco, and Private Jerome. It's settled. Now it's only a matter of time. This mission won't be easy.