"Dende?", asked Guru. Dende turned a pale white as Guru spoke, he knew what was coming.
"My son, I am dying...".  Dende turned to run but Guru stopped him by placing his hand on Dende's
shoulder.  "Dende, I'm serious this time. Call me serious Sam if you'd like." "No Guru." Guru
felt hurt by this statement but he understood Dende's angst.  Had it been over seventeen years since
Dende joined the ranks of the Namekian elites as Guru's Dende? (editor's note: on Namek Dende is the 
positon held by the Guru's assistant, Dende just happened to also be named Dende so his full name with
title is Dende Dende Onsen) Guru sighed a heavy breath, remembering the Guru's before him.  Great leaders
now gone, lost in the memory of many.  It had been over one thousand years since Guru had taken up
the position of being both the leader of Namek and the father to all Nameks in existance.  Suddenly
Guru realized something, there were no Guru's before him! "HAW HAW HAW HAW!!!" he laughed as he kicked
Dende down a flight of stairs. "Why the heck did you do that Guru!?" Dende screamed from the bottom
of the stairway.  "HEAH! I was thinkin something then realized I was makin' it up as I went along!", replied
Guru. Dende stood erect as Guru laughed at the word "erect".  Guru, not thinking, took a bowling ball
from the kitchen cabinet and began to inadvertantly throw it down the stairs. "Bowling for dendes!"
he screamed to Dende, whom was quite befuddled at this point.  Guru, as usual, laughed at the word
"befuddled" and began to write it into his palm pilot for later use.  Dende stood up, staring for only a
second at the hole the bowling ball had made in the wall behind him just missing his skull.  Dende
would have stared longer but he heard a tea kettle whistle from the top of the stairs.  The whistle stopped
and Dende heard the shuffle of feet coming to the top of the stairs.  In the kitchen light he could make out
an outline of what seemed to be a bean bag with legs...no. It wasn't that, it was a being of some sort.
"Guru?", asked Dende, "Is that you?" "No, it's a bean bag with legs, soups on! Get it while it's hot!!!"
With that Guru took the tea kettle, filled to the brim with boiling hot water, and flung it down the stairs.
Unlike the bowling ball, Dende was not so lucky this time.  The kettle split in two over Dende's head
and soon the hot water enveloped his body.  The searing pain took a few seconds to register to his brain, but
when it did...well, there is no way to describe it.  Guru took out his palm pilot, "Does 'befuddled' work in 
this context?" No I replied, it doesn't work in this instance. "Then how can I use it in a sentance?" asked
the large Namek. Well, I am rather befuddled as to why you put Dende through such abuse.