Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
You're not gonna check the trunk are you?
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
Officer says, "Son, Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You respond with, "Officer, your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too!
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Yes, I know my driving is not 100%, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk!
Did you pull me over because of the drugs under the seat, the body in the trunk, or the burned out tail-light?
Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you?
Do you have any idea who you're talking to?
I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
So what if I was speeding? Whatcha gonna do about it Mr. Hotshot?
What? You need a license to drive?
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer!