1. He Talks for hours about David Beckham � and doesn't mention football.
2. He runs to the dance floor like a whippet when Steps songs are played. Oh, and he thinks H is really talented.
3. He refuses to fool about with you 'cos it might mess up his hair and crease his shirt.
4. During the World Cup, he goes to the pub with his mates � to drink cocktails!
5. You agree to a threesome with him and his mate, but they just use you as a pillow.
6. He's never attempted to do an impression of Ali G or Michael Caine.
7. He refers to you as his "girl" but puts the words "you" and "go" first�
8. You find a pile of centrefolds from girly magazines stuck together under his mattress.
9. His idea of a hot woman is Bette Midler.
10. Your mum adores him and thinks he's the funniest thing since Barrymore.
11. He moves in with his best mate � even though there's only one bedroom.
12. His favourite song is Abba's Dancing Queen � and he's made up a dance, too.
13. His entire CD collection consists of musical show tunes.
14. He's always buying expensive moisturisers.
15. He keeps a pic of George Clooney 'cos he wants the same haircut. Yeah right!
16. He turns up at your mate's wedding in a village people outfit = and no, he's not the entertainment!
17. He owns a video called "Shaving Ryan's Privates" � and it's wedged in between "He best of Absolutely Fabulous" and "Beaches".
18. All of his friends wear tighter T-shirts than you and your girlie mates.
19. Your vibrator mysteriously goes missing.
20. He always talks about your gorgeous pal � and what great condition her hairs in.
21. Every time Jude Law comes on the telly, he emits a faint whimpering sound before excusing himself to use the bathroom.
22. Jordan walks past you in the street and the only thing he ogles is her shoes.