Miyagi, Northern Japan
The Great Davesby-Gunthark Post
Upon our arrival to the area we found that the authorities were arresting a man suspected in creating the horrible beast. Mr.Jose Mishima Scene right was arrested as authorities claimed he was the creator of horrible creature while they had no proof on this, they based their reasoning that he wore the glasses of a mad man which made him guilty and was immediately arrested and put to death. In his defense he told that he did not create that specific beast but did however make a dirty bomb that was hidden in the city. Japanese authorities called this a flat out and blatant lie and executed him in the middle of a Mc Donald�s as the man would not shut up about the dirty bomb. �I figured he was making up some strange gobblledy-gook about that dirty bomb, everyone knows that there is no such thing as a dirty bomb, as a matter of fact, bombs are very clean animals!� Reported Police Chief Ralph Takemura
When local merchants were asked about their feelings of the mayhem of the beast, they were in no way scared or surprised. �Well he usually comes around this time of the year� claims Juanita Koshiro. When asked to explain, �Well this time of the year the great Japanese testicle vine, which is known to be loved by big monsters and gay men. Every year about now Godzilla comes by and purchases a whole load of these plants usually cleans us out but we anticipated and have plenty laying around incase others want to purchase them.�
Arriving home from the grocery store, a local man finds that his once beloved home is now nothing but rubble as the mighty beasts foot rested on the mans house. When asked about his feelings of the great beast destroying his house the man replied that he couldnt be happier since he had left his mother in law at home to watch tv, and now he was finnally rid of the old bat!
If there was to be any mourning, he was completely saddened by his house's dissappearence but he hid it well though.
Tugio Unakami stands before his house which was crippled by the beasts reign of terror. When asked what exactly happened, Mr. Unakami responded, �Werr Godzirra came hee and sat on my house when I asked heem to geh off he said No. He den asked fo saam saki, I obriged and brought heem saam. We den sat and drank and spoke of the whole outrook of how poritics views the position of monsters� voting rights...and ponies.� When asked about the ladder Mr. Unakami said it was used for him to sit right next to the beast.
Since the news of the beats being on the loose the government council of japan immediately became outraged and went into a large fight for no reason. When asked why they were fighting they seemed quite upset about the coverage of the Japanese Testicle Plants that may or may have not been the objective of Godzilla�s mayhem
Godzilla is reported to be a very jealous and hot headed monster, he hardly ever backs down from a challenge, according to his friends Ghidra and Mothra. �One time he raced this boat, because the boat was said to be faster than a speeding lizard! Needless to say he won and he never let anyone forget about it.�
